


The Other Colors of the Rainbow

by Pinkiepie2010



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Character, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gay Character, Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 45,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28684518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkiepie2010/pseuds/Pinkiepie2010
Summary: Ludwig and Feliciano are two students trying to through college. Both identify themselves as members of the LGBTQ community with one being more open about it than the other. When the two meet they find each other getting closer to each other. From this relationship changes in not only how they feel about each other but also their lives begin to change. Warning contains homophobic and transphobic scenes
Relationships: Belgium/Czech Republic (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Japan/Taiwan (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

"Mom, Dad I have something to tell you. I'm gay," the voice from the laptop said. He stood there for a moment while the shoot focused the young man's parents who were quiet. After some time they stood up and embraced their son.

"Just as I guessed," Ludwig said closing his laptop. "Unrealistic, no one comes out that smoothly. This is the last time I take movie suggestions from Alfred."

As if on cue his roommate burst through the door with his backpack slung over one shoulder and his phone in his other hand. "Yo, you ready for tonight?"

"You mean another chance for you to set me up with every guy there? Then no."

"Oh come on, meeting a guy wouldn't be so bad."

Ludwig leaned on the wall next to his bed and sighed. "You know I'm not out to my parents."

"I know, I know," Alfred tossed his backpack on the floor. "You know that you'll have to come out to them eventually."

"Unfortunately yes. I'm just not ready for how they'll react."

"Don't worry dude when you are ready to come out I'll be there to support you."

"Thank you, Alfred," Ludwig responded.

Alfred nodded before looking at his cellphone. "Hey, when do we have to meet Emma?"

Ludwig checked his watch. "I believe we have about two hours."

"Cool," Alfred climbed on his bed and got comfortable. "If I'm not up by then, wake me okay?"

Ludwig nodded and opened his laptop again. The movie flashed back on the screen and without a second thought, Ludwig exited out of the screen before pulling up an assignment. Figuring this time was a better time than ever he tried to work. However, he found his mind distracted, distracted by the thought of being in love. He started to feel slightly uneasy at the thought. He knew that if he even found someone who could love him, his life would never be the same. There were so many variables he needed to consider before even thinking about a relationship. The first one was simple, could there even be someone who would love him back?

* * *

"I am so glad classes are over," Feliciano said, stretching a little as he walked down the street. "It's been a very long week."

"I agree," Mei said stretching a little. "Was it just me or did Tackach lecture see longer today?"

"Just one second," Felciano said stopping by a tree. He took a few steps back and pulled out his cellphone. He opened the camera again and zoomed in the small bird sitting in its nest. Once the picture was taken he placed his phone back in his pocket before catching up with his friend.

"Let me guess a new inspiration hit," Mei said without hesitation and with a sly smile.

"In my defensive, it was a cute bird."

"Just make sure you do the reading for Tackach." Mei turned on her heel and started walking backward a bit. "I predict we'll have a pop quiz on Monday."

"You say that after every class," Feliciano laughed and ran a little to catch up with her. The two kept a fast pace until they reached their small home. Feliciano gave a small sigh as he walked up and unlocked the door.

"Hey, you're back," Tereza said turning around and jumping from the step stool she was on. "You guys excited for movie night?"

"I look forward to it every month," Feliciano answered as Mei walked up to what Tereza just hung up.

"Nice banner Tereza," Mei said her eyes still on the banner. "I think you have every pride flag on it."

"Thanks, it took me a bit to get some of them right," Tereza rubbed her hands together.

"Also is it true your girlfriend is finally coming?" Mei leaned against the opening between the common room and kitchen.

"Yeah, she and a few of her friends."

"Oh uh when will they be here?" Feliciano asked nervously.

"Around five, something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing." Feliciano quickly turned to walk upstairs. "I just need to check something first."

Feliciano walked upstairs and to his room. He turned the knob before unlocking the door. He placed his backpack on his bed and opened the back pocket and pulled out his drawing tablet. He placed that on his bed and hung his backpack up. He climbed on his bed and turned the tablet on. Looking over he saw the small notebook sitting on the pop-up shelf and opened it. Once he found what he was looking forward he thought about its contents and nodded to himself. He pulled out his phone and opened the picture he took earlier. Immediately he started drawing. After the bird was drawn, Feliciano took notice that it looked a little empty. He found a large empty space and added another bird in it.

"There we go," he said once the sketch of the second bird was done. "Everyone deserves someone to love."

He looked over the shelf next to him and stared at the pictures on them. He looked down after a moment. "Yeah, everyone."

* * *

"Is everyone here?" Emma asked as everyone climbed into the car.

Alfred looked around the car for a second. "Yup, all here."

"Alright," Emma started to drive off. "So I sent Ter a list of some of our favorite snacks and what kind of pizza you like."

"You didn't have to do that it's just a movie," Arthur said with an assuring smile.

"Well, she wants you guys to enjoy yourselves. I'm the only one who's met these guys, it didn't want to be awkward."

"Yeah, we can make friends easily." Alfred brushed it off before wrapping an arm around Ludwig. "Right, Ludwig?"

"I guess." Ludwig removed Alfred's arm from him. He looked out the window and just watched the scenery change. There was just something hypnotic about it. He leaned his head against his hand and just took it all in.

"Hey Ludwig," Ludwig was taken out of the moment by Alfred shaking him

"Yes?" He asked looking at him.

"We asked you if you had seen _Were The World Mine_?"

"Uh no never heard of it," Ludwig answered before looking out the window again.

"Okay so none of us have seen it," Alfred announced leaning back in his seat.

"I just googled it, seems interesting," Arthur said reading off his phone. "Oh, it's a twist on A Midnight Summer's Dream."

"Oh great here we go," Alfred leaned to the window. Ludwig rolled his eyes still staring out the window. Before anyone could continue the car slowed downed. Slowly Emma parked the car and the three got out.

"I think it's cool your girlfriend gets to live off-campus," Alfred said as they walked towards the house.

"Nah it's how everyone lives at Heartsdale," Emma explained. "The whole town is built around the college."

"Cool."

The four walked up to the small house. It was a nice mint green color with white shutters and three stories high. All in all, it looked like a decent place to live. Emma led the group to the front porch and she knocked on the door. It opened and a girl opened it

"Are you Emma?" she asked with a warm smile

"Yes," Emma responded with a small nod.

The girl turned around. "Hey, Tereza your girlfriend's here!"

"Well let them in!" Someone called from inside. The girl moved to the side and the four walked inside. A young woman walked out from the kitchen holding a bowl of chips. She smiled and walked over.

"I'm so glad you could make it," she said hugging Emma tightly. "You guys can just put your coats on the railing over there."

Ludwig did what he was told and looked around a bit. He took notice of a small bulletin board. On it was the pictures of everyone who lived in the house. Below each picture was the person's name and what they identified as. Ludwig couldn't help but stare at them and wonder how everyone could be so open to this part of them. He turned away and a banner of many of the pride flags caught his eye.

"This movie is rather interesting." Ludwig turned to see the others talking. "How did you even find out about it?"

"Oh, Feliciano recommended it," Tereza explained. She looked around for a few seconds. "Is he still up in his room?"

"I'll get him," the other girl said, walking up to the railing. "Feliciano get down here! We have guests!"

"I'll be down in a second!" Presumably, Feliciano yelled from upstairs. A few moments later he ran downstairs, carrying a beanbag with him. Ludwig took a small step back. The young man had short brown hair with a stray curl, slightly tanned skin, and from what he could see a really positive demeanor. He threw the beanbag down before collapsing on top of it. Ludwig caught a small glimpse of Feliciano smiling and couldn't but smile with him.

"Sorry I was just changing my shirt," he said standing back up and brushing himself off and laughed a little as he did. "Also wanted to bring my beanbag so our guest can have the seats."

"Nah I can sit on the floor," Alfred responded sitting down next to the beanbag.

"Well you guys don't have to stand around," Tereza said to everyone. "You can sit. Or if you're thirsty we got drinks in the kitchen."

"I'm going to get a drink," Ludwig announced turning towards the kitchen door. "Anyone want anything?"

Everyone shook their head and Ludwig walked in the kitchen. Feliciano turned to face him and stood in place for a second. He poked Mei on the shoulder.

"Mei who is that?" He whispered to her.

"He's one of her friends," Mei slightly gestures to Emma. "I'm not sure of his name though."

"Okay thanks," Feliciano said before kneeling back on his beanbag. He pushed some of his hair back. "He's kind of cute."

Feliciano adjusted himself a bit in his seat. He reached up and grabbed himself a slice of pizza. A few seconds later he glanced up and the mysterious boy was sitting on the couch next to him. Quickly he looked down, hoping that he didn't notice.

"He's right next to me," Feliciano thought to himself. "This is probably the best chance I have, I can't miss it."

He took a deep breath and looked up. "Hi, I'm Feliciano what's your name?"

The young man looked on the other side of him before turning to toward Feliciano. In response, Feliciano waved a little.

"Hi," he said again still waving.

"Hello," he said. "Were you talking to me?"

"Yes." Feliciano adjusted himself so he was sitting up was looking at the man better.

"Oh uh my name is Ludwig," he rubbed the back of his neck as he said this.

"Ludwig," Feliciano said to himself. "That's a nice name."

"Oh uh, thank you."

"So," Feliciano leaned on the arm of the couch. "Have you seen this movie before?"

" _Were The World Mine_?" Feliciano nodded a little. "I never heard of it before today? I think someone said you recommended it."

"I have been since last year," he leaned on the couch for a moment. "I watched it in GSA and I thought everyone would like it."

"I hope I enjoy it," Ludwig leaned back and Feliciano turned to face the screen.

"I hope you enjoy it too," Feliciano thought to himself. He glanced back at Ludwig for a second, his fierce blue eyes focused in front of him. Feliciano quickly turned away. He laid back down and let the movie play.


	2. Chapter 2

"I hope you guys enjoyed yourself," Tezera said to Emma and her friends as they were getting ready to leave. Feliciano looked at them for a moment. He grabbed some of the empty snack bowls and carried them to the kitchen. After washing them he looked over at the table behind him. The bright yellow post-it notes caught his eye. Quickly he reached for a pen and started to write.

"You know you guys are welcomed to come to our next event, Berwald has some planned," Tezera explained. Feliciano sighed in relief a little seeing that they were still there. Slowly he started to walk up to Ludwig.

"It would be fun," Emma said with a wide smile.

"Cool, I could send you a list of our events we have planned. Hopefully, you guys can come to some."

"I wouldn't mind coming back," Ludwig thought to himself as he felt a small tap on his arm. He turned around and saw Feliciano standing there.

"I just, want to, um, give this to you." Feliciano looked down and stretched out his arm. Ludwig noticed a folded piece of yellow paper in his hand. Slowly he reached over and took the paper from Feliciano's hand. His stood suspended for a second before it returned it to his side.

"I hope to see you soon," Ludwig said, slipping the piece of paper in his pocket. Feliciano looked down for a second before looking up.

"Yeah, hope to see you soon." Feliciano smiled at him before turning around with a wave.

Ludwig followed his friends outside. As he walked Feliciano's smile could not leave his mind. Something about it was just so pure. So beautiful. How could someone be so happy? There was something so intriguing about it. He held on to whatever Feliciano gave him. His grip was tight but also gentle. Sure he could open it here but everyone could start staring at him. He held on to the small piece until he was back in his dorm room.

"Well, here goes nothing," Ludwig whispered to himself as he unfolded the paper. There he saw what could only be Feliciano's phone number. "I don't believe it."

"What ya looking at?" Alfred asked walking back into the room.

"Nothing." Ludwig grabbed a book near his bed and placed the note inside it. "Just trying to figure out what to read."

"Okay dude," Alfred climbed on his head. "I'm hitting the hay, night."

"Night Alfred," Ludwig said as he turned in his lamp. He opened his book and the piece of paper floated on his lap. He held it gently in his hands. "You know it's probably too late to text him right now. I'll text him tomorrow, yeah tomorrow."

* * *

"I can't believe I did that," Feliciano said pacing around his room.

"Feli it's okay," Mei said twirling in a chair a bit.

"My apologies," Kiku said quietly. "But what did you do?"

"I, I gave Ludwig my phone number."

"I don't see what is bad with this," Kiku looked at Mei who shrugged.

"Well, it was a spur of the moment thing." Feliciano stopped pacing around. "I figured that there might not be another chance to. I barely know him and I have no idea what he'll do."

"Wait did you tell him?" Mei asked a little nervously.

"Tell him what?" Feliciano took a small step back and looked down.

"About, you know."

"Oh, no," Feliciano sat on his bed and stared out the window. "I'm not ready for that."

Felciano's phone buzzed and he immediately grabbed it. He saw a text but not from Ludwig but from his mother. He sighed and quietly replied to the message. Once he was done he placed the phone back and looked downwards.

"You know he could be tired and be unable to text you," Mei suggested hopefully with a shrug.

"You're probably right," Feliciano placed his phone back and went to his dresser. "I'll just get ready for bed and relax for the rest of the night."

* * *

"Hey Ludwig I heard you went out last night," Matthew said walking over with a small stack of books. "Alfred didn't give you too much trouble?"

"Hello Matthew, he was fine," Ludwig greeted him and took the books. "Do these need to be reshelved?"

"Yeah, from the book drop. So did you have a good time last night?"

"It was alright." Ludwig started to place the books on the cart. "We watched a movie and it was pretty decent."

"Cool, cool. Well, I should get back to the front desk."

Ludwig nodded and started pushing the cart. He walked around the building slowly, carefully placing the books back. He looked around the main study area and saw about three people currently. Ludwig didn't mind this, he enjoyed the quiet. In a few minutes, he was able to return the books on the bottom floor and started to work his way up. He looked through the books for what needed to be shelved, before continuing. As the shelves moved on, he left himself getting slower and slower. His mind kept going to the previous night, mostly the young man he met. He pulled out a book about art techniques.

"Of course there's one book on art," he thought to himself before placing it on the shelf but as he passed it by he felt himself smile.

* * *

"So how does this look?" Mei asked raising her arms in the air and crossing her legs.

"Perfect." Feliciano started taking pictures.

"What are you guys doing?" Kiku asked walking in the room with a few drinks.

"Hi, sweetie," Mei said taking a drink. "I'm just posing for Feli."

"It's for my Art Anatomy class." Feliciano scrolled through the pictures. "Do you want to pose for some?"

"Uh, no thank you."

"That's alright, I think I have enough." Feliciano placed his phone down and started drawing. "Just need to get these done for Monday."

"Why don't you ask Ludwig for a picture?" Mei giggled a little before stopping. Feliciano felt his cheeks getting warmer as she said that. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," Felciano glanced down at his phone for a second. He kept drawing not looking up for a second. He heard a small clank next to him. He didn't bother looking at it. His eyes stayed on the tablet watching the figures come to life. Each drawing was its own artwork. They required their own special care and attention. So much work went into each of them.

"Feliciano." He sat up at the sound of his name. He looked up and saw Kiku standing by his bed. "Oh sorry, I didn't know you were busy. A few of us are going to get some food. Would you like to come?"

"Sure I got some time," Feliciano saved his work and jumped off his bed. He ran over to grab his coat before walking outside.

"You know why can't all of Fall being like this?" Mei asked stretching her arms out and enjoyed the small breeze.

"Because people need something to prepare them for winter!" Someone called from behind her. Feliciano held in his laughter a little.

"Maybe you should have gone somewhere else," Tezera said with a small laugh.

"You know my parents wanted me close by," Mei turned behind her.

Feliciano looked down for a moment. He crossed his arms and ignored the argument starting behind him. There wasn't really much he could add to it. Just had to let to it go over and everyone to calm down. Thankfully by the time they reached the small cafe, everything had calmed down.

"I'm serious Callie got Ripley to go on a tangent for half the class," Toyls said taking a sip of coffee

"Isn't that the third time this month?" Mei asked slightly leaning on her chair.

"It's Ripley she's known for going on tangents," Tezera responded.

"Well, I've never had her before." Mei pouted while Kiku gently patted her on the shoulder.

"Oh Feliciano," Tezera said probably trying to change the subject. "I saw you getting a little friendly with one of Emma's friends."

"I just talked to him a little," Feliciano looked away for a moment. "Nothing wrong with that."

"Are you sure it was just friendly?" Feliciano quickly nodded. Tezera shrugged and picked up her drink. "If you say so."

Feliciano smiled and quietly looked at his phone. Still nothing from Ludwig. He put it back without another word. Maybe he was too forward but he sort of excepted it.

* * *

"Hey I'll be at practice be back in a few hours," Alfred said as he walked towards the doors. "Don't party too hard."

"Don't worry I won't," Ludwig responded not looking up from his textbook. He heard the door close but didn't bother looking up. He kept reading until he finished the chapter. Picking up his phone he looked at the time. "How is it only three-thirty?"

He put it back on his nightstand and pulled out his laptop. For a few moments, he just stared at the computer screen. He tried changing his position on his bed but nothing work. After a few minutes, he closed it and looked over at the book for the previous night. Slowly he reached over and pulled out the small piece of paper. Slowly he reached for his phone and opened the text messages.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Carefully he dialed the number and waited for a response.


	3. Chapter 3

Feliciano sat on his bed. The words in front of him jumbled in his head. After a few more seconds he slouched down and started hitting his forehead with it. He tossed the book down and rolled on his side. Suddenly, his phone buzzed. Immediately he sat up and pull his phone from the side pocket. Slowly he turned it on and stared at it for a few seconds. On the screen were the words; _Hello Feliciano, this is Ludwig I hope I typed your number correctly and apologize if this someone else._

After a few seconds of staring, Feliciano grabbed one of his pillows and screamed into it. He hugged it tightly and bounced on his bed a little. Quickly he added Ludwig to his contacts and replied with; _Hi Ludwig, don't worry it's Feliciano._

"He actually responded!" Feliciano collapsed on his bed with the widest smile he could. He hugged his pillow tightly, smile ceasing to fade.

_I'm glad, I typed it correctly._ Ludwig replied and Feliciano laughed a little. _So how are you?_

_I'm doing good Taking a break from homework. How are you?_

_I am well, also taking a break from my work._

Ludwig stared at the screen, with each message he felt himself typing faster. Every time he saw Feliciano was responding he felt his breathing increasing in speed and his smile growing wider. He laid down on his bed and just let himself stare at his phone. The time between Feliciano's responses felt like an entirety. He could see Feliciano's smile and hear his voice as he read each one, taking in each word.

"How can someone be this perfect?" He asked himself just staring at the messages.

* * *

"Are you serious, he gave you his number?" Emma asked. Ludwig nodded a little and she laid back on the chair. "Wow, he must really like you."

"It's nothing serious," Ludwig explained. He glanced down at his phone again. "We just talked for a bit last night and that was it."

"Well Tezera has mentioned him a few times and he seems like a nice guy." Emma smiled and held back a laugh. "And you want I could ask her about him."

"No, you don't have to."

"Are you sure?" Emma leaned a little closer. "You seem to really like him. Didn't know he was your type."

"I've known him for one day! Even if I did like him like I'm going to date, someone I've only know for one day."

"Emma does sort of have a point," Arthur added. "Like you said you've only known for a day and very little about. Tezera could give you some help when talking to him."

"If I want to know something about him, I can just ask."

"And what if there's something he's not comfortable saying?" Emma raised an eyebrow.

"If he doesn't want me to know, I'm sure Tezera wouldn't tell you." Emma kept looking at him. "If he's not comfortable with the question I asked him I won't bring it up again unless he does."

Emma nodded and leaned back. Ludwig placed his phone in his backpack and pulled out his computer. The three of them sat in quiet and just worked for a few minutes. Still, Ludwig couldn't get his mind off of Feliciano. It wasn't debilitating just something in the back of his mind. Could they actually work as a couple? And if they did would they last? But those were questions for a different time.

* * *

Feliciano walked to class. The entire way his mouth was in a smile and his head held up high. He let the sunshine on his face and the breeze surround him. Before he knew he was at the main campus. He checked the time on his phone and saw that he arrived about two minutes before he normally did. This didn't bother him stuff like this was normal but he didn't think the streets were less crowded than normal. He shrugged it off and just headed to his first class.

As he sat in class, Feliciano started sketching in between taking notes. Basics of Anatomy was not the worst class, just not the most interesting. He kept sketching basic figures as the professor went on. Every time he saw something important he quickly jotted it down before going right back to sketching. When class was done Feliciano walked out as quickly as he could. He made his way to the courtyard and found an empty bench. He pulled out his sketchbook and worked on some more drawings.

"I wish every day could be like this one," he thought to himself. He laid back and let himself relax more. Slowly he drew whatever came to his mind, letting his hand do all the work.

"Oh, hey Feliciano." Feliciano looked up and saw a young woman in front of him.

"Oh, Clara I'm sorry I didn't you there." Feliciano closed his sketchbook. "I hope you weren't waiting too long."

"Not at all." Clara opened up a folder and pulled out a flier. She handed it to him. "I just wanted to give you the flyer for the LGBT+ art showcase. Figured you might want to enter a piece like last year."

"Thank you." Feliciano took the flier in his hand. Clara smiled and waved goodbye. Gently Feliciano held it in his hands and looked it over. Smiling he placed it in his bag.

Feliciano went through the rest of the day with ease. Once all of his classes were done, he walked back to his home. He leaned back on his bed and pulled out the flier. He moved his finger across the wording on top. Hoping, praying an idea would come to him. He placed it down and started to stare at it. His mind was blank. He sighed before climbing down from his bed and walking downstairs. Slowly he grabbed a can of soda and started before walking back up. But then he stopped. He looked up at banner of flags that were hanging up on the wall.

"Oh, I just didn't take those down." Feliciano turned to see Tezera walking through the door. She walked up to him. "Figured they looked nice up there, so I kept them up."

"Don't worry about it." Feliciano looked back up at them. "Just got lost in thought, again."

Tezera laughed a little before walking into the kitchen. Feliciano smiled before running back upstairs.

* * *

"Guys you'll never what happened," Emma said as she ran up to the guys.

"It's chicken finger and french fry day!" Alfred smiled and started to get excited.

"Not that I know of," Emma said quietly looking away.

"Dang it."

"So what happened?" Arthur asked.

"My folks surprised me and are coming to take me home this weekend!" Emma jumped a little as she said that.

"That's awesome, any reason?"

"My little brother has a debate with his model UN and they want me and my older brother to surprise him there."

"Cool, I'll be off campus for football, so if I don't see you have fun."

"What about you two?" Emma turned towards Arthur and Ludwig. "Do you guys have any plans?"

"Same as every weekend," Arthur said with a small sigh. "Having to run campus tours and events."

"I have to work on Friday night but that's it," Ludwig admitted as he adjusted his backpack a bit.

"Let me guess you're going spend all your free time studying," Alfred said with a small laugh.

Ludwig remained silent. The group reached the dining hall and were able to find a four-person table. After placing their stuff down, they made their way to get food. As normal Ludwig was the first one back at the table. He sat there for a bit in silence until everyone came back. Quickly everyone started talking about their weekend plans. He remained silent.

"Honestly I would get so bored on the weekends without sports." Alfred sulked in his chair. Ludwig glared at him a little but Alfred didn't notice.

"Perhaps you could, I dunno read a book or something."

"Dude don't joke like that." Alfred took a bite of his burger before looking away.

"I wasn't joking."

"I'm not boring like you." Arthur slapped Alfred on the back of his head lightly. Before Alfred could protest, Arthur just shook his head at him.

Ludwig decided to go back to being in the background. Quietly he pulled out his phone and stared at it for a moment. He quickly typed; _Hello Feliciano would you like to hang out this weekend?_

A few minutes later Feliciano responded. _Sure I'd love too! Friday night?_

_I cannot on Friday. Does Saturday work?_ Ludwig held his breath a little. Was Friday the only day Felciano was available? He couldn't get off work, but still hoped for a chance to hang out with him.

As everyone started walking back to the dorms, Ludwig kept holding on to his phone. Every few minutes he held on to it tighter. Once he was in his dorm he opened his laptop and carefully placed his phone next to it. He worked on his assignments for a bit before he got a reply

_I'm free on Saturday after 3!_

Ludwig smiled a bit. _Would you like to come to my dorm this time? It will be just me if you're worried about my roommate being there._

_The city bus goes there right?_

Ludwig opened another tab on his computer and quickly looked it up. _There's a bus stop on my campus you should be fine. I can meet you there._

_Sure, I'll see you on Saturday then_

_See you on Saturday_


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, Ludwig you can do this," Ludwig told himself as he did another clean of his dorm room. "It's just Feliciano coming over for a few hours. Nothing to fret about it."

Ludwig walked up to his phone and checked the time. He sighed seeing her still have about two hours before Feliciano would be here. Looking around he noticed that his dorm looked nice. Quietly he leaned on his bed and stood there for a moment.

"Maybe he would want to watch a movie," Ludwig opened up his laptop and started going through different ones. "Hopefully I can find one he'll like."

* * *

"Now you promise you won't be out too late," Mei said leaning against the wall.

"And how late is that?" Felciano asked putting his tablet in a backpack.

"I didn't think you'd ask that."

"Don't worry I'll be home before midnight." Feliciano slung his backpack over his shoulder. He walked over to a small hook and took his keys off it. "See you guys later."

Feliciano walked out of the house and down the street. At the bus stop, he held his pass tightly and remained behind the other people present. When the bus arrived Feliciano boarded it and texted Ludwig as soon as he was on. He remained silent and constantly looked between his phone and window. Eventually, he leaned on it with a few glances back to his phone. He looked around the bus for a moment and thought he saw someone wearing a sweatshirt with Ludwig's college logo on it but it was a bit obscured. A few minutes later he noticed a notification that the college was coming up. Immediately he requested the bus to stop before getting off with a few other people. Slowly he looked around before noticing Ludwig across the street.

Ludwig leaned on the side of the bus stop. He looked up and saw Feliciano walking off the bus. As Feliciano crossed the street Ludwig waved to him and Feliciano responded with a small one of his own. Feliciano's pace sped a little when he saw him.

"Hi, Ludwig." Feliciano greeted as walked over to him. His voice sounded a bit off. "I'm so glad I was able to come"

"Hello, Feliciano. I'm glad you could make it as well." Ludwig led Feliciano down to campus. The entire time Feliciano looked around.

"This is much larger than my campus," Feliciano said as he looked around.

"Oh, would you like me to show you around?"

"You don't have too," Feliciano said looking down. His voice was still in that off tone.

"Feliciano are you alright?"

"Yeah, it's just I talked to my parents before I came here. They aren't the biggest fans of my, sexuality." Feliciano kept looking down. "I mean they don't completely hate it but they tolerate part of it."

"Is it the part that you could still end up with a girl?"

Feliciano remained silent for a few moments. "Yeah, but between you and me I have a guy preference."

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me." Ludwig placed a hand on Feliciano's shoulder. "Now let's continue on there's more I want to show you."

* * *

"Your dorm room is really nice," Feliciano said as he walked inside. He walked around a bit before placing his bag on the floor.

"It's nothing much," Ludwig closed the door behind him. Carefully he placed his keys on the hook by his door.

"Oh what a cute dog," Feliciano said. Ludwig turned to see Feliciano looking at his nightstand. "Oh sorry."

"Don't be." Ludwig walked over. He picked up the picture. It was of him in is his high school graduation cap and gown. Next to him was an old german shepherd sitting up and Ludwig had an arm wrapped around him. Ludwig looked over and saw Feliciano staring at, mostly the dog. "This is my old dog Aster. My family got him when I was five."

"He's a really cute dog," Feliciano said as Ludwig put the picture down.

"Thank you." Ludwig walked away while Feliciano stayed for a few seconds afterward. "So is there anything, in particular, you want to do?"

"I don't care what we do."

"Well, it's too early to grab dinner." Ludwig sat down on his bed and Feliciano climbed on right after. Slowly he placed his backpack next to him. The fell down on him and Ludwig pushed it up and felt something in there. "Did you bring your textbook?"

Feliciano laughed a little. "Nah, I'm not studying tonight. That's my drawing tablet."

"Is it something you bring everywhere with you?" Ludwig moved the backpack so it was leaning against the wall.

"I wouldn't say everywhere." Feliciano leaned back. He turned to see Ludwig giving him a confused look. "Well I don't bring it to class unless I need it and if I'm going out with my friends, depending on the location, I leave at home."

"And you brought here because?"

"Easy it can keep me busy on the bus ride home." Feliciano brushed off the question. "Would you like to see some of them?"

"Your drawings?" Feliciano nodded and started to reach for his bag. "Are you sure?"

"I'm the one who asked you," Feliciano said holding back a laugh. "Just give me a minute."

Feliciano turned on his tablet. Quickly he pulled out a pen for it and tapped the screen a few times. Ludwig looked up at the ceiling as Feliciano did this. He kept eyes looking up at.

"What kind of art do you like?" Felciano asked after about a minute.

"What kind?"

"Yeah, like are you a fan of more realistic art or do you prefer something more stylized. However, if you're an abstract fan I don't really draw that. Not my cup of tea."

"I have seen some pretty impressive realistic art. Do you have anything like that?"

"I have a few pieces like that." Feliciano swiped across his tablet a few times. He examined the screen a few times before tapping on it. "Here this is of my cat Gino."

Ludwig turned and looked at the drawing. At first, he thought Feliciano was showing him a photograph. If there wasn't some texture that resembled paint and Feliciano's signature it could pass as an actual photo. It was of a gray cat sitting in a windowsill. He could see a little bit of sunlight, shining on the cat. There was even a sense of movement in the piece with curtains moving behind the cat.

"You drew that?" Ludwig asked as it pointed to it. Feliciano nodded with a wide smile on his face. "That is very impressive."

"Thank you." Feliciano kept smiling.

"It must have taken you a long time to draw that."

Feliciano turned the tablet to face him again. He looked at it for about two minutes before turning it back around. "If I remember correctly this took me about ten hours."

"In a row?"

"Not this one. I have spent entire days drawing but I can never stay with the same piece for that whole time. I did over the course of a few days."

"I don't know if I could stop working on a project to work on something else."

Feliciano leaned on the wall and looked at his tablet. "I've had other people say that too. I dunno, I just get bored looking at the same thing for a long time."

"Is ten hours the longest you spent on a drawing?"

"Nope." Feliciano scrolled through his drawings. "This is it. It took me a whole week. If I had to put it in hours I would say, about twenty."

Ludwig looked at this second drawing. This one was of a group of four people, each performing what looked like magic. Behind them was a giant blue dragon, that appeared to be roaring.

"That is very impressive. I can see why it took so long."

Feliciano smiled again before turning off his tablet and returned it back to his bag. He then took his bed and gently placed it on the ground. He brought his legs on the bed and crossed them. Ludwig turned to face him. For a few seconds, the two sat there is silence.

"So um do you want to grab something to eat?" Ludwig asked.

"Uh sure."

"Alright." Ludwig climb off the bed. He walked over to where his jacket was and took it off. Feliciano proceeded to do the same. He looked at his backpack and slowly pushed it under the bed before walking over to Ludwig.

The two walked outside and across campus. As they walked, Ludwig couldn't help but notice that Feliciano started walked closer to him. It was probably only by step or two but it was something he couldn't help but notice.

"So how much does the food cost here?" Feliciano asked all of a sudden.

"We're going to the main dining hall, you don't need to pay anything," Ludwig said calmly.

"Are you sure?" Feliciano paused for a second.

"I have guest passes," Ludwig said bluntly.

"But what if your family comes for a visit?"

"I live two hours away, my family is unable to visit that often. You don't have to worry."

"Wow, that's a decent drive. I live a little over an hour. What made you chose Winston University over the others?"

"Simple, my father went here. My plan is after I graduate and go through law school, is to work at the family law firm."

"Interesting, I found out about Heartsdale at my school's college fair," Feliciano said catching up to Ludwig.

The two made their way to the dining hall. They walked upstairs to the main hall. The entire time Feliciano stayed about a step or two behind Ludwig. Ludwig was able to check Feliciano in the dining hall without any issue and was able to find an available two person table. After showing Feliciano where the different sections of the dining hall were got dinner himself. He sat down at their table and waited for Feliciano to return.

"Sorry I took so long," Feliciano said walking over and sitting down. "I had to wait for the pasta to finish cooking."

"It's not a problem." Before he could say anything else, Ludwig's phone buzzed. He picked it up and started typing. "Sorry, it's my brother."

"Older or younger?"

"He's older than me by three years."

"Did he go to school here too?"

"No, he decided to attend a different school and did not pursue law."

Feliciano looked down for a moment. "Was your father upset when he found out?"

"I believe so. I wasn't present when Gilbert told them but I remember my father being rather quiet for a few days afterward. It was very awkward at home for a few days. But we don't have to dwell on that. Do you have any siblings?"

"I have two brothers one older and one younger." Feliciano laughed a little. "Things can get a little crazy somethings but I wouldn't have it any other way. Even at our worse, I have to appreciate them, they're two of the only ones in my family who fully accept me."

Ludwig and Feliciano went on with dinner. When they were done they walked back to Ludwig's dorm. After some time the two decided to watch a movie. Ludwig set up his laptop while Feliciano made some popcorn and grabbed a blanket. Once the movie started Feliciano took the blanket and put half of it on Ludwig. He looked over and Feliciano smiled. For some reason, this felt right.


	5. Chapter 5

"So how was last night?" Mei asked as everyone sat around eating breakfast.

"Oh right you had a date with one of Emma's friends," Tezera said with a sly smile.

"I wouldn't call it a date." Feliciano poured some milk into his glass. "I was just over his place and we hung out for a bit."

"And it was just you two, right?" Mei asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." Feliciano looked down as he said that. Quickly he straightened himself out and waved his hand. "But we didn't do anything romantic."

"If you say so."

Felicano poked at his eggs. He leaned on his hand for a moment and sat there. Looking around he saw Mei and Kiku laughing quietly with each other and Tezera, Toyls, and Victoria talking to each other. He slowly ate his breakfast lost in thought. He thought about last night and the most romantic things he could think were time eating together and sharing the blanket. Eating dinner alone couldn't be avoided and Feliciano thought it would be nice to share the blanket with Ludwig.

"Feliciano, you've had a boyfriend before, right?" Victoria asked

"Yeah, Jason the jerk." Feliciano stabbed his breakfast and gripped his fork tighter.

"Oh bad break up?"

"That's a very large understatement." Feliciano took a bite of his food. He took a few deep breaths before continuing. "I really don't want to talk about it. It was that bad."

"Oh sorry for bringing it up," Victoria said quietly.

Feliciano gave Victoria a small smile and nod. He looked away and the topic of the conversation quickly changed. Feliciano decided to remain quiet. The conversation started to become a blur. The voices mixed together and words made less sense. If someone was calling his name he wouldn't have noticed.

_"I'm sorry but I don't date people like you."_ Feliciano jolted a little, as the voice of Jason played in his memory. He looked around and no one seemed to notice.

_"Sweetheart this, weird, phase of your's needs to end. It's not right."_ His mother said in his mind as Feliciano slowly got up.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Feliciano said as he started to leave the room. Quickly and as quietly as he could he ran back up to his room. He locked his door and caught his reflection in the mirror. Slowly he rubbed his hand against his face. He backed away from the mirror and covered his eyes as he did.

_"This needs to stop now! What your doing in, unnatural."_

_"Your father is right. You need to stop lying to yourself, you won't be happy like this."_

Feliciano started to breathe heavily. He felt a few teardrops starting to fall. Immeadtly he covered himself with his blanket. He let himself cry out but holding back making any sounds. Before he knew it he felt his arms around his chest. Slowly he rubbed his hands against his sides. As he did he proceeded to lay down on his bed. Every once and awhile he would hear a small creak or what sounded like a footstep. With each one he held his breath for a few seconds before continuing to cry. He grabbed the closest pillow and embraced it. He buried his face in it and let it all out. The voices of his parents remained echoing in his brain. He adjusted his blanket a bit and returned having his arms wrapped around his chest. He just laid there crying until he could no more.

A few hours later Feliciano slowly removed the blanket from his head. He kept it around his chest and sighed. Noticing something out of the corner of his eye he looked over to his side. There sat a chocolate chip muffin with a small note next to it.

_Hi we noticed you were upset, so we left you a chocolate-chip muffin!_

Feliciano picked up the muffin and smiled. He leaned back a bit, avoiding his reflection in the mirror and smiled.

"I'm happy," he whispered to himself smiling sadly. "And nothing can change that."

* * *

"So is it true?" Alfred asked the group as they sat outside. Ludwig leaned on the back of his seat. He held his book up and kept on reading. "Hello did you hear me?"

"Sorry, what did you say?" Ludwig said placing his book on the table.

"Is it true you had a guy over the weekend?" Alfred leaned on the table.

"What do you mean?"

"I heard from Bradon that you had another guy with you on Saturday."

"It was Feliciano wasn't it?" Emma asked leaning closer to him. Arthur was quick to pull her back.

"Does it matter if someone was here?" Ludwig turned to Emma. "And so what if Feliciano was here?"

"It means you have a chance at a relationship." Emma smiled widely.

"I don't know Feliciano that well. We've only seen each other in person twice. I do not have any sort of romantic feeling for him, and even if I did, I would not want to rush into a romantic relationship with."

"I'm not saying to ask him out right now!" Emma said defensively as she crossed her arms. "I'm saying that you two could be an item in the future."

"I agree with Emma," Arthur said calmly. "Having a more, romantic relationship with him could be a good thing."

"I don't think he likes me in that manner." Ludwig paused for a moment as everyone stared at him. "What I mean is I'm probably not his type."

"His type?" Alfred leaned on the table and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, uh were complete opposites. He's much more upbeat and outgoing than I am. Feliciano is the happiest person in the world, he could never love some who's more of a pessimist like me."

"They say opposites attract." Arthur shrugged a bit. "Perhaps that is true for you and Feliciano."

"There is still something missing from this. Neither of us has feelings for the other."

"How do you know Feliciano doesn't like you?" Emma asked. She picked up her smoothie and took a sip. "After all, he did give you his number."

"That was just him being nice."

"But he gave it to you and no one else." Alfred interrupted.

"Did he talk to any of you?" Ludwig asked. Everyone remained silent for a few minutes. "See then he was just being nice."

"Or he didn't talk to any of us because he interested in you!" Emma jumped in and pointed at him. Ludwig stared at them for a second.

"You have no proof of that."

Ludwig stood up and gathered his stuff. He said goodbye and started to walk away. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted one of the nature paths throughout the school. He looked around and headed down in it. After some time he found a nice area and sat there. Slowly he opened his book and continued reading. As he read on he started hearing Feliciano's voice. After a little bit, he looked around but saw that he was alone. Just as he thought.

"I don't have any feelings for Feliciano," Ludwig said as he laid down on the grass. He watched the sky for a moment. "Sure he's a nice guy, very friendly, has the most infectious positive attitude and everything I can say. But just because I like him doesn't mean I have feelings for him. Those are two completely different things. I value his friendship and that's it."

He sat there in the grass taking in the scenery. Once or twice he tried to go back to his book but the words jumbled in his mind. Ludwig sighed and looked around. He heard a small tweet and saw two small songbirds fly overhead. The two sang to each other as they flew by.

After a little bit, he pulled out his phone. He opened up his photo gallery and looked at a photo of him and his family. Ludwig was in the center in his graduation cap and gown. On one side of him was his brother with his arm wrapped around him. Their mother was on the other side of Ludwig laughing a little. His father was standing next to Gilbert with arms behind his back and in the serious posture, he normally had.

"Even if I did love Feliciano, could I risk losing them?"


	6. Chapter 6

"So what do you guys think?" Feliciano asked taking a step to the side. Behind him were a series of sketches hanging from his corkboard.

"Is this for a class assignment?" Kiku asked examining the sketches.

"No, it's for the LGBT Art Showcase." Feliciano turned towards his work again and tilted his head a bit.

"Don't you have like a month to finish it?" Mei asked as she unpinned a drawing from the corkboard.

"I do but I need as much time as I can to get this right. I need to get the right paints, mix them, get the right campus, size, and material, and I need to check my paintbrushes." Feliciano ran over and pulled out a box. After he opened it, he pulled out a group of brushes tied to together but a polka-dotted ribbon. Untying, he examined each one carefully. He held one up and looked at the missing hairs from the tip. "This one can go."

"I know you care a lot about your art pieces but is it really worth to go through all this for one painting?"

"I can't use a brush that losing hairs!" Feliciano gasped. He showed the brush to Mei and let her hold it. "A piece of it could get in the paint and then I would have to remove it. And that could ruin the whole thing!"

Mei walked over and picked up a different brush to examine it. "Why don't you just a different one?"

"Depends on what kind of paint I'm using." Feliciano picked up and a couple of brushes. "For example, this one is a watercolor brush, while this fan brush is used mainly for adding texture to a piece."

"Don't you have to take painting classes for your Printmaking major?" Tezera asked holding back a laugh.

"I've been putting them off." Mei collapsed on the floor. "It looks so simple but it's so much more complicated than I thought."

Feliciano laughed a little and placed all the paintbrushes back. He moved closer to his sketches and looked them over for the umpteenth time. He unpinned a few looking at them closer. The first one was of a same-sex couple looking at each other with a pride flag over their back. After a few seconds, Feliciano tossed it to the side and sighed. He looked a few more and tossed them to the side as well.

"This one looks good." Kiku picked up one of the drawings with a smile.

"It doesn't feel original enough." Feliciano crossed his arms and sulked on the floor. "Everyone does the gay couple with the pride flag."

"Why don't you do this but with a rarely used flag?"

"Still done." Feliciano's eyes widen and he sat up. "But you're on to something."

Feliciano ran to his desk and pulled out some pieces of computer paper. "I think I have an idea."

* * *

"Well, class today we start our LGBT Issues unit." The professor said as he walked into the room. "Now I except that everyone did the reading over the weekend. So spilt off into groups."

Ludwig gathered up his things and moved to the back of the class with three other students. He pulled out his notes and opened to his notes from the previous weekend.

"Alright what does anyone know about the author?" One guy said leaning on the back of his chair.

"Oh, she's an LGBT activist." The one girl in the group said right away.

"Is that all?" The guy asked unamused.

"Well no she's written a few essays on her struggles on being a lesbian. Including being forced to come out."

Ludwig remained quiet. He thought about all the times he deleted conversations between him and his close friends, simply for the fact that he is gay was mentioned somewhere. Often he would delete the message as soon as sent them. Not even mentioning anything related to that when he knew his family was nearby.

"Hey what do you think?" the second guy asked.

"Huh?" Ludwig asked without thinking.

"Do you think articles on gay issues should only be written by gay people?"

"Well, there is more to the community than just gay people." Ludwig paused for a moment. "But members of the LGBT+ have experienced the variety of hardships firsthand. Sure not everyone in the community deals with the same hardships but they all have to deal with the struggle of coming out. Unless you have to go through that it may harder to write about their struggles. However, straight people can still have witnessed these hardships with friends coming out. This includes being harassed on the streets, being denied services, and, sometimes, being, kicked out."

Ludwig stopped himself before he could say anything else.

"See I told you, straight people can still write about gay issues." The first guy said to the girl.

"I never said they couldn't." She defended harshly. "All I said was that it's more reliable when they aren't the authors."

Ludwig looked down and turned to the closest blank page in his notes. He wrote down what he believed to be important and only spoke when someone asked him a question. By the time class had ended he had only filled up half a page. When class was over he couldn't get out fast enough.

Later that night Ludwig sat in front of his laptop. His latest reading for class shone on the screen. He stared at it and read over everything carefully.

 _The hardest part for me was being kicked out._ The author wrote. _For a good portion of that time, I was living on the street. If I hadn't found a group of friends who loved and supported me, I don't where I'd be today._

Slowly Ludwig closed his laptop and laid down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling. His body started shaking and he looked over at the nearest window. The window was closed as it was before but Ludwig still threw a blanket over himself.

* * *

"I think this looks alright," Feliciano held up a sketch towards the light. He looked around his room and found it empty except for him. After a few seconds, he picked up his phone.

 _Hey what do you think of this?_ Feliciano asked before sending a picture of the sketch. He then leaned on the back of his chair and waited.

Ludwig kept staring at the wall. The blanket was still around him. A small ring came from his phone. Slowly he sat up and looked at it. A text from Feliciano was present on the screen. He opened it and saw a small sketch. The sketch was of a group of people, each holding up their hands in a heart shape. Ludwig could see some small writing in the hearts but couldn't read it.

_It looks nice. But what's the writing in the hearts for?_

_Writing in the hearts?_

_I may be mistaken but there appears to some writing in the hearts._

_Oh those are for me. It's so I know what to color them._ Feliciano laughed as he sent the message.

_Oh, my mistake._

Feliciano leaned his head on his hand and smiled. He laughed a little more and sighed.

_Don't worry about it. Do you think it looks alright?_

_It looks great. Is it for an assignment?_

_No my school has an LGBTQ+ art showcase every year and this is a sketch for my entry._

_That's interesting._

_I have an idea, why don't you come to the showcase. It's December 3rd if you're available._

_I'm not sure if I am but I'd be happy to attend if I can._


	7. Chapter 7

"So what everyone's plan for Thanksgiving?" Alfred asked.

"Same as always," Emma said with a sigh. "My brothers and I got to our aunt's house. My mom and aunt proceed to try and outdo each other with what they cook."

"I have three brothers things get really crazy at my place." Arthur sighed a little.

"What about you Ludwig?" Alfred asked before stopping himself. "Wait your family doesn't celebrate it right?"

"Not once." Ludwig took a sip of his drink.

"You don't? Why is that?" Emma asked.

"Easy my father's a first-generation American and my mother moved here after she finished college. They never celebrated it growing up and never bothered to start once they had a family."

"So your family doesn't do anything for Thanksgiving?"

"We normally watch a bunch of movies. It's honestly, really fun."

"Welp I'm going home for two days. We're playing the Friday game this year."

"Is Matt going with you?"

"Nope, he's staying the whole weekend and visiting friends."

Ludwig smiled to himself. He remembered Gilbert coming home for holidays or the occasional weekend. If his stay was long enough, then he would spend more time with his high school friends than he did at home.

After they were finished with dinner the friends sat out in the courtyard. It was one of those November nights. The ones that felt summer was still saying goodbye before winter came. Everyone was still wearing their jackets but they were much lighter than they had been waiting for. It was only bad whenever a cold breeze flew by. Those lasted a few seconds.

"I wish every night could be like this." Alfred stretched his arms out as the breeze came in.

"You say that every time," Arthur said.

"Because I mean it every time."

"The one day he doesn't is the day pigs fly." Emma laughed.

"Or the day he comes out." Ludwig didn't say anything and just stared at Alfred. "What it's true."

"Have you ever thought about it?" Emma asked and Ludwig didn't answer. "I was just asking."

"Of course I have thought about it. Now is simply not the time."

"But didn't you realize you were gay your sophomore year?"

"I did but the case still stands that I'm not ready. Even it was four years ago. And to best honest, I was in denial for a while."

"Hey, I have an idea!" Alfred said suddenly.

"This can't be good," Arthur said under his breath. Alfred glared at him quickly before continuing.

"As I was saying. Maybe when you're home next week you can look for signs."

"Look for signs?"

"Yeah, signs on how your parents will react when you come out. That way when you do you'll be prepared for their reaction."

"How is that supposed to work?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno maybe find a news story or something similar. Look for clues, like their facial expressions or their tone of voice. That way you know. Oh but don't make to obvious so they don't catch on."

"I figured that part."

"It's something to think about."

* * *

"Hey Feliciano," Mei greeted as Feliciano walked inside. "What you got there?"

"I'm not sure," Felician said as he placed a decently sized package on the living room coffee table. "I don't remember ordering anything recently."

"New art supplies?"

"Nah, I always buy new supplies at the local craft stores." Feliciano walked into the kitchen. He took a pair of scissors out of a drawer.

"Maybe you had something back-ordered," Kiku said as he gave a nervous glance to Mei.

"Could be possible," Mei shrugged as Feliciano kneeled down and started to open it.

"I can't think of anything." Feliciano opened the box and immediately his face fell. "It's a care package from my parents."

"Oh, that's not so bad." Mei laughed nervously.

Before looking at the contents Feliciano picked up a small note. He read two words before tossing it to the floor. Next, he pulled out a light blue shirt with frilly sleeves. Without hesitation, he handed it to Mei. The rest of the contents were various snack foods and other necessities. Feliciano picked up the box and started organizing the snacks.

"Well, it's not the worst one you received," Kiku said as Feliciano shoved a bag of chips in a cupboard.

"Did you even read the note?"

"No, but it can't be that..." Feliciano glared at the two before Kiku could say anything else.

"It was that bad." Feliciano took a deep breath in. "They, they dead named me again."

After he said those words, Feliciano collapsed on the floor. He didn't try to hold back his tears. He wrapped his arms around his chest. Mei and Kiku looked at each other for a second. They kneeled down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulders. The three sat there in silence as long as Feliciano needed.

* * *

"There we go," Mei said as she placed a large bowl down. "We have hot chocolate and fresh-popped popcorn. All we need now is a Disney movie and we have the perfect Friday night."

"We should have Disney Night every week," Tolyis said grabbing a hand of popcorn.

"I'll get that," Tezera yelled as she stood up.

Feliciano sulked in his seat. He moved his blanket up a little. Quietly he took a sip of hot chocolate. Once the door opened everyone turned around to see Tezera jumped in the air a little and hug the person on the other side.

"Hey guys," Emma said as she walked through the door. "I hope I'm not crashing the party."

"Oh come your not crashing anything." Mei and Kiku moved over on the couch. Feliciano climbed down and carefully placed his drink on the table.

"You guys don't have to move. I can sit on the floor."

"No, you're fine."

"I don't mind sitting on the floor," Feliciano said quietly

"Feliciano are you alright?" Emma asked as Tezera handed her a mug.

"Yeah, had another, fight with my parents." Feliciano took a sip of his drink.

"You've been having those an awful lot lately. Everything alright with the three of you?"

"To be honest it hasn't been since I was seventeen."

"I know something that might cheer you up." Emma opened her backpack and reached into it. "Chocolate! I brought enough bars for everyone. Plus extra."

Emma held up almost ten chocolate bars. She stood up and held the bars in front of Feliciano.

"Here Feli you get the first pick," Emma said with a warm smile.

"Oh thank you." Feliciano took a bar of dark chocolate. He quietly unwrapped it as Emma passed out the others. Slowly he took a small bite. Immediately he felt happier and leaned down against the couch a little.

"Now that we all have our chocolate who's ready for Disney night?" Victoria asked. Everyone cheered as the first movie started playing. Feliciano smiled and let the movie play. Something told him tonight was going to be great.

* * *

"You know I love going home but I always feel like I bring too much," Alfred said holding up two different shirts. "Do you get that?"

"Well, I always pack an extra shirt just case." Ludwig looked up from the book he was reading.

"Do you think this is nice enough for Thanksgiving?" Alfred up a light blue shirt with thin white stripes on it.

"I think it will work."

"Thanks, man." Alfred's phone buzzed. "Uh, what time does the book store close?"

"It closes in a little over an hour."

"Okay, got to go for a second." Alfred ran over to grab his coat. "Just got a message for a group project. And I need to get some color pencils or something like that."

Alfred ran out of the room before Ludwig could respond. Ludwig just shook his head a little and continued reading. About a minute later he heard his cellphone start ringing. Without looking at it he answered.

"Hello," He answered slightly annoyed.

"Oh Ludwig I'm sorry did I interrupt something?" Feliciano spoke from the other end.

"Feliciano?"

"Yes sorry I didn't think you'd be busy. I'll, I'll hang up now."

"No no it's fine I thought you were someone else." Ludwig sat up and placed the book on his nightstand. "Is something wrong?"

"Eh, I'm just a little nervous about going home for break." Feliciano sounded much quieter than normal. "My parents and I have been in a very rough spot recently."

"Are you alright?" Ludwig asked sounding concerned.

"I dunno I need someone to talk to."

"I'm here as long as you need me," Ludwig said very firmly. He thought about what to say for a moment. "Do you want to hear what Alfred suggested I do over break?"

"Sure, why not?" Feliciano started to sound more like himself.

"He told me I should find signs about my parents' feelings on LGBT people. This way it would be easier for me to come out to them."

Feliciano laughed a little. "That's just silly. The only person who knows when it's good for you to come out is you."

"Thank you, it is nice to hear that for once."

"I know firsthand that coming out is very personal. But if you're feeling nervous about this, I will say after you do come out it's the most, freeing feeling in the world."

"Freeing?"

"Yes, freeing."


	8. Chapter 8

"Lovino!" Feliciano cheered as a black car pulled up in front of his house. He ran down the stairs and hugged his brother before he was even half out of the car.

"Woah Feliciano, it's good to see you too but at least wait until I'm out of the car."

"Oh sorry." Feliciano took a few steps back.

"So are you all packed?" Lovino asked as he shut the car door.

"Almost, I just have to pack a few more drawings supplies to pack." Feliciano opened the door and the two walked inside.

Lovino looked at his watch for a second. "Alright but don't take too long."

The two walked upstairs to Feliciano's room. There was a red duffle bag sitting on his bed. His sheets were all pulled up and wrapped up together. Feliciano walked over to his desk. Carefully he unplugged his tablet and picked it up. He gently placed it in his bag and tightly zipped it up.

"Alright, I'm all set," Feliciano said as he slung his backpack over his shoulder.

Lovino nodded and grabbed the sheets. Feliciano grabbed his suitcase and they headed downstairs. As he started to walked outside, Feliciano turned and looked at the inside of the home before walking outside.

"Okay so here's the plan," Lovino started to explain as the car entered the highway. "We're going to drop all this stuff off at home. Then the two of us are just going to hang out for a few hours."

"For how long?" Feliciano asked quietly.

"As long as we can."

Feliciano smiled and looked out the window. "How have Mom and Dad been?"

"Nothing's changed since you left," Lovino said bluntly still looking at the road. "At this point, you might as well give up."

"Harsh."

"All I'm saying is that it might be a good idea to give up." Lovino started to speak softly. "Before it's too late."

Feliciano looked down and wrapped his arms around his chest. "Believe I want to. I think about it every time they dead name, misgender, or anything of the sort. But no matter what I can't."

Lovino placed his hand on Feliciano's shoulder. Feliciano looked over and smiled.

* * *

"Okay how about we head to the mall and grab some make your pasta?" Lovino suggested as Feliciano throw his sheets in the laundry room. "My treat."

"Lovi I can pay for myself," Feliciano said.

"I insist." Lovino gently grabbed Feliciano's arm.

Feliciano walked upstairs and grabbed his wallet along with his phone. He ran downstairs and met his brother in the car. The two kept quiet on their ride to the mall. Looking out the window Feliciano watched the scenery change. Despite being gone for two months hardly anything had changed. The houses, trees, and even a few animals were the same as they always were.

Once at the mall, the two didn't bother to stop at any stores. Feliciano remained a few steps behind his brother. He looked around and after a few seconds he zipped up his jacket. Lovino turned around and stopped. When Feliciano caught up to him he placed his hand on Feliciano's shoulder making sure the two remained by each other's side.

"So how's senior year going?" Feliciano asked once the two were sitting down eating their lunch.

"Same as the past years. Get up, go to class, grab lunch, go back to class, work, and go home back to bed. Rinse and repeat every week." Lovino gestured with his fork a little. "How have things been with you?"

"Going good." Feliciano took a sip of his drink. "I'm doing that art contest again."

"Do you think you'll win this year?"

"I hope so." Feliciano looked down a little. "There are just so many good artists at Heartsdale."

"And your one of them." Lovino paused for a moment. "So what's the deal with this Ludwig guy?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've mentioned him a few times over the past month. Is there something between you two?" Lovino raised an eyebrow.

"We're just friends."

"If you say so. But I'll tell you until I meet this guy I don't trust him."

"Lovi you've never even met him."

"He's just giving me some vibes." Lovino took a sip of his drink.

Feliciano took a bite of his pasta. "You say that about everyone."

"When I'm given a reason to, I'll stop."

Feliciano looked down for a second. "I wish you didn't have to in the first place."

* * *

"Oh, there's my baby!" Ludwig turned around to see his mother standing in his bedroom's doorway.

"Hi Mom," Ludwig said before his mom ran over and hugged him. Ludwig stayed there for a few a seconds before his mom stepped back.

"What, just because you're twenty now you can't hug your own mother?"

"Of course not," Ludwig said before hugging her. His mother smiled.

"Now I know you probably want to get settled in." His mom started to walk out of the room. "I just wanted to come up and say hi. Your father should be home in about an hour. Dinner should be ready by then, I'm making your favorite."

"Mom, you don't have to."

"I insist sweetie."

Ludwig smiled and climbed onto his bed. He sighed and just laid there for a moment. Coming back home was always felt so surreal to him. After months in the dorm, the thought of being in his room by himself most of the time just felt unreal. But it came at a price, that he truly could not express himself. He sat up and stared at out the window. He watched cars, birds, leaves, anything go by as he remained still.

"Ludwig, could you help me set the table, please?" His mother called.

"Be right down," Ludwig said as he got off his bed. He ran downstairs to the dining room, where his mom was placing some plates down. Ludwig followed suit and grabbed some silverware.

"Oh, your father called me," his mom said as she put down the last plate. "He's going to be a little late tonight due to traffic."

"I can wait until he gets back."

"That's what I figured. I didn't want you worrying about him when he wasn't home when he said." His mom looked back a little before looking back at her son. "So anyone caught your eye?"

"What do you mean?" Ludwig asked confused.

"Like, I dunno if there a girl you're interested in at school?"

"No, Mom there's not."

"What about that Emma girl you always talk about. Any interest in her?"

"No, we're just friends." Ludwig paused for a moment. "She uh has a girlfriend."

"Oh, she's gay. My mistake, I didn't know."

"It's okay Mom," Ludwig said quietly.

"Honey is something wrong?"

Ludwig looked up for a second and started to walk out. "No, everything is fine."

"You know you can tell me anything right?" She asked following him.

"I know." Ludwig paused again. "Just getting a little stressed about finals that's all."

"Ludwig, Ludwig, Ludwig you say that every year and every year you do great."

"Still get those nerves, you know."

"I understand dear."

The two remained quiet for a while. When the table was set Ludwig went into the living room and started reading. After a few seconds, a pillow fell on his leg. Out of habit, he placed his free hand on it. After realizing that the pillow wasn't moving, he awkwardly moved his hand off it.

"Anyone home?" some asked as Ludwig heard the door open.

"Hi, honey," his mom said. Ludwig stood up and walked over to see his father in the kitchen.

"Well if it isn't my youngest son?"

"Hello Father," Ludwig said with a smile.

"How does it feel to be home?"

"To be honest it feels so surreal."

"I can't wait to hear about it." His father picked up his briefcase. "Let me just change out of my suit first."

* * *

"So your professor won't be back until after break?" Ludwig mom asked as she poured herself some water.

"No, she's been out for a family emergency for the past two weeks. She should be back on Monday."

"Are you handling this alright?"

"Of course he is," his father said before Ludwig could answer. "Pop quiz what is the maximum sentence a person can earn for second-degree robbery?"

"Wolfgang give him a break. He just got home."

"Karla dear, if he's going to make it in the law world he has to be prepared for anything."

"Fifteen years," Ludwig said not even looking up.

"See he can handle it," Wolfgang smiled proudly at his son.

"I know but he still has a lot of stress to go through as a student." Karla crossed her arms. "We can't be adding more to it."

"Mom don't worry. I don't mind."

Karla and Wolfgang looked at each other for a second. Quietly Ludwig looked down and continued to eat his dinner. Out of the corner of his eye, Ludwig thought he saw his mom gesture her head towards him. But he couldn't be too sure.

"Did I tell you about the case I denied taking last month?" Wolfgang asked after a few seconds.

"I don't think so," Ludwig said looking up.

"Well, a potential client came in claiming wrongful termination from their job."

Ludwig nodded a bit. "Doesn't seem to bad so far."

"I thought so at first, but over time I noticed that there were some holes in the story. I ended calling up the company to hear their side of the story and hopefully get a consistent story. It comes out and I find out that this person got fired for repeatedly calling a fellow employee a homophobic slur."

"They fired him over that?" Ludwig asked trying to sound surprised.

"From what I gathered they kept repeating the slur after the employee and the management told them to stop."

"Is something wrong sweetie?" Karla asked grabbing Ludwig's hand.

"Of course Mom. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh," Karla sat back up in surprise. "Well, it's just you seem to be acting a little, upset recently. Like there's something you're not telling us."

"I'm not Mom."

"You know you can tell us anything, right?"

"Of course."

The rest of dinner was uneventful. The three were rather quiet. When they were all done Ludwig offered to help clean up but both of his parents told him he was all set. Ludwig went back upstairs and on his bed. He grabbed his headphones and turned on a random playlist. He leaned on the back of his bed and just let the music play.

He started to think about what his mother said. He had heard over a million times before but for some reason, it stung today. If could tell them everything he would but why was it so hard. He noticed the framed family picture on his nightstand. Carefully he picked it up. Looking it over he saw how happy they were back then. When was the last time he truly felt like he did in the picture?

"It's the most, freeing feeling in the world." Ludwig thought back to what Feliciano told him the other day.

He sighed and looked at the photo in his hands. "I have to do it. I'm going to come out."


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning Ludwig woke up to quietness. Getting up he saw that both of his parents had already left. He walked downstairs and made himself a bowl of cereal. He sat there quietly and checked his messages. There was nothing. He opened the group chat between him, Emma, Arthur, and Alfred. Slowly he typed the phrase. _Hi guys, I've decided to come out to my parents,_ before quickly deleting it.

Once he was done with his breakfast, Ludwig changed into workout clothes. He got his headphones and plugged them into his phone. He walked outside and felt a cold breeze. He smiled a little. Taking a deep breath in he started running. Not even knowing where he going. He just kept running. The cold breeze blew across his body and he didn't even care. Occasionally he would pass someone either running as well or just walking their dog. He didn't take to much notice of them and just ran past them.

After running for about an hour, Ludwig realized he was at the small park a little ways away from his house. Currently, it was almost empty. Quietly he walked to the back of the park, where he found an empty park bench.

"Am I really going to do this?" he asked himself as he stared off. He sighed and leaned back on the bench. Looking around he saw almost no one around him. He stood up and started heading home.

* * *

"So Gilbert is coming tomorrow right?" Karla asked as the three of them sat in the living room

"He should be." Wolfgang didn't bother to look up from the newspaper he was reading.

"Well, I think he and Lizzie are starting to get serious."

"Do you think he'll spend Thanksgiving with her?"

"It's a possibility," Karla said quietly.

"Mom, Gilbert knows you'd kill him if he didn't show up," Ludwig said placing the book he was reading down.

"And I'm sure if he and Lizzie are as serious as you believe he'd invite her over."

Karla jumped up and ran into the next room. A few minutes later she came out holding an old photo album. "If she does come it's a perfect opportunity to show off baby pictures."

"Really Mom?"

"What you boys were the two cutest babies in the world."

"I'm sure every mother says that about her children."

"You know your mother Ludwig." Wolfgang put down the newspaper. "If there's an excuse to show off baby photos your mother will take it. I'm sure when you have children your wife will do the same thing."

"I'm not sure about that," Ludwig said albeit a little quiet. His parents looked at him. " _Okay Ludwig, you can do this._ "

"Because, because I'm not sure if I want children." Ludwig smiled awkwardly. " _Dang it._ "

"That's understandable." Karla opened up the photo album. "If you don't have any that's okay."

Ludwig remained quiet. He picked up his book and stood up.

"I'm going upstairs," Ludwig muttered quickly. "I have some work I have to do."

"Okay dear, don't stress yourself out."

Ludwig smiled and walked upstairs. Once in his room, he opened his laptop and a document. He stared at it for a moment. Not doing anything with it. HE looked over and saw his phone sitting there.

_Hi Feliciano is it alright if I ask you something, personal?_

_How personal?_

_Well, It's just I've been thinking about coming out to my parents._ He slowly typed out the next part. _I was wondering, how did you come out to yours?_

The little read button came up next to his message. He saw Feliciano starting to type something but quickly stopped. Ludwig stared at his phone watching the little typing bubble appear and disappear With every second he felt his heart beat faster and faster.

_I told them when we were sitting around at the table. Sorry but I have to go, wish I could chat longer._

Ludwig sighed and leaned back on his bed. He started typing on his computer. Focusing on each word. He wrote a for few minutes before looking at what he wrote. He groaned after seeing that the last few sentences were just a jumble of random words. He closed his laptop and placed it back in its case. He laid down and stared at the ceiling for who knows how long.

* * *

Next thing Ludwig knew he was surrounded by darkness. He took a few steps forward and saw the silhouettes of his parents. They were standing next to each other with their back facing him. Ludwig ran up to them and reached for them but they stepped away from him. He froze in place and stood there. He looked down.

"Mom, Father is everything alright?" Ludwig said trying to walk closer to them.

"I didn't raise a gay son," his father said. At that moment Ludwig heard his mother starting to sob. Ludwig gasped and took a step back.

"No, no I'm still the same son you raised," Ludwig said starting to walk closer to them. His mother knelt down and started sobbing louder.

"What happened to my boy?" His mother cried loudly.

"Mom, mom I'm right here!"

"You are not our son!" His father yelled. Ludwig fell backward. He felt tears starting to build up in his eyes.

"No please I'm still your son." Ludwig cried as his parents disappeared. "Please don't leave me I love you!"

Ludwig stood back up and started to run over to where they would. Before he could reach out for them he ran into something. Looking up he saw a giant brown door. He felt around but could not find a doorknob anywhere. He turned around and saw he was now surrounded by walls. Ludwig started shaking and felt the door behind him.

"Let me out," he yelled as he tried to open it again. "Please let me out!"

"Only you can." Someone said in the either. Ludwig looked around but saw no one. "You have to tell them the truth to be free."

"But you heard them, they don't want a gay son." Ludwig felt tears forming in his eyes. "If I tell them, I-I'll be alone."

"You won't be," the voice morphed into multiple ones. Ludwig walked closer to them but was soon greeted by a blinding light. "We promise."

* * *

Ludwig jolted up in his bed. He breathed heavily and started to look around. There he was in his room. In his own bed. With his closest closed. Looking out the window he saw that it was now morning. Quietly he walked downstairs and peered into the kitchen.

"Good morning dear," Karla said turning away from the coffee maker. She walked up and kissed him on the cheek. "You went to bed rather early last night."

"I was rather tired last night." Ludwig walked over to the fridge and pulled out a carton of juice. Slowly he poured himself a glass.

"Gilbert should be here by four o'clock. If his girlfriend will be with him I don't know."

"Is Father sleeping in?" Ludwig asked before taking a sip of his juice.

"Yes, sleeping in." Karla laughed and used air quotes as she said that. Ludwig smiled and walked into the living. Currently, there was a talk show on with the host talking about the parade that was to start soon.

"This gets cheesier and cheesier every year."

"I know but I can't help but watch it every year." Karla shook her head.

The two heard footsteps coming from the stairs. Wolfgang soon walked from around the corner.

"Welp, there goes another failed attempt to sleep in," He said as he walked in. "Somethings I think the only good thing about today is the extra day off a year."

"You have all the federate holiday off." Karla handed him a coffee mug.

"And I enjoy every second of it."

* * *

"Hey, family guess who's back!" Gilbert yelled as he pushed the door open.

"Gilbert you're home," Karla said running up and hugging him. Gilbert walked into the living. He saw Ludwig sitting on the living room table reading. "Glad to see you're finally home West."

"Nice to see you too," Ludwig removed his brother's arm from around him.

"Come on you don't miss me?" Gilbert sat down and leaned on the table.

"I do miss you." Ludwig didn't look up from his book.

"It's so nice to have everyone home." Karla sat down next at the last empty seat. "I miss the days when you boys were little."

"Mom we can't help it." Gilbert threw his arm around Ludwig. "You're little boys are now big strong men."

"No, you two are my little boys. No matter what."

Slowly Ludwig put his book down. His mom started to tease Gilbert. Ludwig looked over and saw his father smirk a bit. Karla started laughing a little and his brother glared at her. Ludwig took his water bottle and took a small sip of it.

"Should I say something now?" Ludwig thought to himself as his mother and brother started to argue with each other. "No, no, I shouldn't."

"Can you two please stop fighting?" Wolfgang requested after a few minutes of fighting.

"Alright." Karla straightened herself up a little. "So Gilbert how is your relationship with Lizzie going?"

Gilbert sat up a little. Ludwig turned to face the conversation. "It's been going well. We've had a few dates."

"Can I see a picture of her?"

"Of course." Gilbert pulled out his phone and looked through it a bit. After a few seconds, he handed her it.

"Oh, she's pretty." Karla showed the picture to Wolfgang.

" _If they ask you something, tell them."_ Ludwig looked around and caught his parents smiling and nodding. _"They're not going to ask. There's no point."_

"How did you two meet again?" Wolfgang as Karla handed back the phone

"Pssh we shared a few classes in college and kept in touch after graduation." Gilbert paused for a few seconds. "After a bit, we started getting drinks together and then it became more serious."

"Interesting."

" _They're definitely going to ask you. Just bite the bullet and tell them already!"_

"Well, she's really pretty and seems super nice. I hope things are going well for you."

"Yup they totally are." Gilbert smiled a bit weakly.

_"Say something you have too!"_

"Are you sure?"

"Of course mom."

"Gilbert, I've told you and Ludwig plenty of times to be honest with us."

_"Which you are currently not being."_

"Stop it I am." Ludwig closed his eyes and looked away from everyone else.

"A relationship needs two things to work."

"Mom I don't need a lecture," Gilbert whispered.

"Those are trust and more importantly honesty. Without honesty, there is nothing to build on. This includes your relationship with all of us."

_"You need to tell them."_

"I can't. I can't." Ludwig started thinking to himself. "I can't. I can't. I can't."

Ludwig started repeating it over and over again in his mind. He felt his breathing getting heavier. Leaning back on his and looking down. He could still hear the conversation going on. Over time he heard it getting quieter and his thoughts getting louder.

"Ludwig honey are you okay?" Ludwig looked up and saw his mother next to him with her arm on his shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Ludwig asked quietly.

"You were saying 'I can't' over and over again. Is something wrong?"

"I, I haven't been completely honest with you." Ludwig looked down a little. He looked up slowly and everyone looking at him. He felt like he was still crying. "The truth is, I'm gay."

"I knew it," Gilbert said.

Ludwig chose to ignore him and focus on his parents. Both were silent. His mother had stepped back and was looking down. Ludwig turned to his father who was appeared to be staring off. The seconds ticked by no one said a word. After about two minutes Ludwig stood up and turned around.

"I"ll, I'll be upstairs," He said with his back to them. Slowly he started to walk away. Getting slower with each step. He kept his head down the other time. Before he started to go up the stairs, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning his head slightly he saw that t was his father.

"Ludwig."

"I'm sorry Father." Ludwig started to hold back tears. He kept facing away from his father and stared off. "I know this isn't what you want in a son but you can't change this. It's part of who I am."

"Ludwig, please look at me."

Reluctantly Ludwig turned around. Before he could say anything his father embraced him. Ludwig stood there in silence.

"My son I could never ever be ashamed of you." Wolfgang stepped back to look at his son.

"But I'm."

"That doesn't matter you are my son. And I love you, no matter who you love."

Ludwig stared at his father. Wolfgang at him warmly before hugging him again. This time Ludwig hugged him back. He couldn't hold it back and let the tears flow from his eyes. A few moments later his mother walked over. She smiled at him before joining the hug. As he was there Ludwig couldn't help but smile. For the first time in a while, he felt truly happy.


	10. Chapter 10

"Finally home," Feliciano said as he collapsed on his bed. He sighed joyfully before setting up his bed. Afterward, he placed his duffle bag on his bed and started to unpack his clothes. As per normal he sorted the clothes into two piles. He took the first pile and buried them in one of his drawers. Then he took the other clothes and hung them up or put them in his other drawers.

After a few seconds, Feliciano walked up to the window. The bright red, orange, and yellow leaves blew gently in the breeze. He leaned against it a little. Slowly he placed his hand on the window and sighed. He looked at his phone for a moment. There were no signs of any messages. He started to stroke his hair a little. It was starting to get a little long. He stared at his face in the mirror. Focusing on his face. He pulled out his phone and opened his schedule. His next appointment wasn't for another week.

Immediately he ran over to his desk and opened the bottom door. He dug around for a bit before he found a small pouch. Quickly he opened it up and dumped the contents out. He looked it over before finding a small container of foundation. Holding his breath he opened it. When he saw it was about half full he sighed in relief. He placed every back in its place and put the foundation and sponge on top. Shortly after heard his phone buzz.

_Hello, Feliciano. I'm sorry I haven't said anything in a few days but I came out to my parents on Thursday. They handled it well._

Feliciano stared at the message for a long time. He didn't know how to feel. His brain was going a mix of happiness and jealousy. This should be a good thing but these negative emotions were ruining it. He wanted to scream and bang his hand against the wall. It took everything in him not to. He leaned on his bedpost and sighed.

_Congrats I happy for you!_ He typed quickly and turned his phone on silent. Placing it on the ground he pushed as far away from him as he could. He remained kneeling on the floor in silence. After some time had passed he heard a knock at the door.

"Hi, Feli," Mei said after she opened the door. "There's pizza in the oven if you want any."

"Sure." He stood up and dusted his pants off a little.

"Everything alright?" she asked as they started to walk downstairs.

"It's fine," Feliciano said quietly and looking down.

"And your folks?"

"Were fine." Feliciano kept looking down as they walked.

The two kept walking down in silent. Feliciano kept staring at the wall the entire time. Downstairs everyone was sitting around the couch. It looked like Victoria and Kiku had no arrived back yet. Feliciano took a seat, leaning on the couch a bit.

"Hey everyone the pizza will be ready in ten minutes," Tolyis said poking his head in the living room.

Feliciano smiled and nodded. He remained silent for a few minutes. He quietly watched everyone reminisce about their break. They were laughing, groaning, all the sort. From what he could tell everyone had a good time.

_"Are you thinking of wearing that?"_ Feliciano shook his head a little.

_"I just bought you some nice tops. Why don't you wear one of those instead?"_ He looked down at his shirt and pulled it out. Slowly he pulled his arms around his chest. He felt a few tears forming in his eyes. Quickly he wiped them away. Looking up he saw that no one was looking over. They were all in their own little world, not even noticing him at all.

* * *

"You the worst part about break has to be the day after when you come back." Alfred sighed collapsing on the bed. Emma grabbed a pillow next to her and threw it at him. Alfred stared at it for a moment before picking it up. "What was that for?"

"I don't want you breaking anything," Emma said as she caught it. She proceeded to look at Alfred with an annoyed expression. "Like I said don't break anything."

"Here we go again," Arthur sighed and closed his notebook.

"At this point, I'm not surprised," Ludwig said looking over at the two.

"I should have taken that night class, that would have been productive."

"Alright how about we take a study break." Ludwig closed his notebook with a small bang. Emma and Alfred stopped in their track.

"Good I need one." Alfred tossed his stuff off the bed.

Emma walked over to her fridge and pulled out a soda. She sat on her chair sideways. "Well, your brain certainly needs one."

"Why do we even have this study group anyway?" Alfred complained.

"At this point, I would ask why we wouldn't have it." Emma took a long sip of her soda.

The friends stayed in silence for a few minutes. Ludwig pulled out his phone and checked his messages. He saw one from his mother, asking how his first day back was. He quickly replied before opening up some game. Looking up from his phone for a second he saw everyone else was on their phones. He straightened himself up a little and leaned against the wall.

"Oh, Ludwig did you take my advice?" Alfred asked after a few minutes.

"About what?" Ludwig asked not looking from his phone.

"Finding signs about how your parents react to coming out. Duh." Alfred said before Emma stood up and hit him on the head. "What was that for?"

"Because it's a personal decision."

Ludwig looked down for a second before placing his phone down. "Actually I came out to them over the break."

Everyone stared at him for a few seconds. Alfred stood up and walked over to the window. He moved the blind over and kept looking out it.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked in an annoyed tone.

"Checking to see if there are any pigs flying outside," Alfred said as he closed the blinds. "Because unless I'm hearing something you actually told your parents that you're gay."

"I did," Ludwig said firmly.

"And how did they react?" Emma asked sheepishly

"They were, believe it or not, they were very accepting of it," Ludwig said after a few seconds.

"That's awesome!"

The rest of the night was rathered quiet. While the group was able to get some studying done there wasn't really much they could do. Once back in his dorm Ludwig couldn't but think about the events from the past Thursday. He felt so much lighter. So far everything was going well. Better than he ever thought it would be. Hopefully, it would last.


	11. Chapter 11

"Alright everyone remember that your group project is due next week." The professor said as the class started to get ready to leave. Ludwig gathered up all of his things and started to head out. He didn't have any classes for another two hours, so he wasn't in any of a rush.

"Hey Ludwig you got a sec?" one of his classmates said running up to him.

"Sure," Ludwig said as stopped walking and turned towards him.

"I know this is kind of last-minute but Amy is unable to finish her part," he said kind of defeated. "Do you mind doing half?"

"Not at all," Ludwig said trying his best not to roll his eyes.

"Cool, I got class soon. I'll email you later." He said before running off in the other direction.

Ludwig sighed and started back to his dorm. Luckily he had finished most of what he required todo. But it was still frustrating. Once he was back in his dorm he opened the group project. He saw a good portion of the work that he and his other two partners had to do was completed and hopefully making up for the forth's wouldn't be too much of a hassle. As for now, he wouldn't about it.

The rest of the day went by normally. He went to his last class and didn't think about the project. Even if he was worried about it, sitting in another class was not the time. When he got back to his dorm he opened his emails up and saw one from one of his partners.

_Hey Ludwig, I talked it over with Wesley and he agreed to do the biographies. Do you think you could find examples of Neoclassicism?_

"Wait which one is Neoclassicism?" Ludwig thought to himself. He replied that he would do it. He looked over his textbook and saw the different art movements. The section was small with little information. Ludwig stared at it for a moment before thinking of something.

_Hi, Feliciano, do you know anything about Neoclassicism?_

Ludwig closed his textbook and put it back. No sooner than he put it away than he heard his phone vibrate from bed.

_Yeah it's an 18th century art movement where classic styles became popular why?_

_I need to find examples of it for a project._ Ludwig paused for a moment before typing the next part. _I was wondering if you were able to come over this weekend to help me?_

_Sure I'm free Friday after 4. Does that work?_

_I'm free at 4:30, so anything after that._

_Okay see you then!_

* * *

"It has to be here somewhere," Feliciano said to himself as he dug through his draws.

"What are you looking for?" Mei asked walking over to him.

"My History of Art textbook," Feliciano said as he opened another drawer. "Oh, here it is."

"You still have that thing," she said before taking a bite of a granola bar.

"Eh, I had a gut feeling I might need it." Feliciano put the textbook in his backpack and zipped it up. He looked at the time on his phone "Well I should get going. Don't worry I won't be out late."

Feliciano pulled his headphones and turned his music on. As he walked along, his hand slowly went into his pocket and grabbed his keys tightly. He quickly glanced around him. Taking notice of the strangers. Were they staring at him? Were they talking about him? Without thinking he opened his phone camera and looked at himself. His breathing was getting heavier. Looking around he put his phone back before slowly walking to the bus stop.

When the bus came Feliciano went to the back of the bus and sat down. Quietly he texted Ludwig before adjusting his beanie a bit. He turned his music up a little. Moving his backpack in front of him, he embraced it. Slowly he felt himself lean against the window. Watching the world go by. It wasn't until he saw Ludwig's college that he smiled. With a wide smile, Feliciano ran across the street. He looked around a bit before seeing Ludwig.

"Hi!" Felician said running over to him.

"Hello Feliciano," Ludwig said with a slight smile. "I'm glad you were able to come over."

"It's no problem." Feliciano adjusted his backpack strap. "I'm always happy to help a friend out."

"Just as a warning Alfred might be in the room with us," Ludwig said as the two of them started walking.

"Oh, it shouldn't be too bad." Feliciano looked at him and smiled. Ludwig was quick to look away for a second and he felt his face warm up a bit.

The rest of the way to the dorm the two walked in silence. Ludwig looked to say something a few times before looking away again. At one point he thought he saw Feliciano smiling at him but he wasn't sure. When the two walked into the dorm room, they found it empty.

"You can pull up a chair," Ludwig said as he started to sit down by his desk. "Unless you want to sit somewhere else."

"It's fine." Feliciano grabbed a nearby chair and moved it next to where Ludwig was sitting. He reached into his bag and pulled out his textbook. "So, what do you want to know about Neoclassicism?"

"I need some examples for this." Ludwig turned on his laptop and opened up his PowerPoint. "Group project. I have to fill in for one of my partners."

"Well, that's easy." Feliciano opened up his book. "There's plenty of them. You lucked out."

"Easy for the art major to say."

"Neoclassicism is one of the more interesting art movements."

"I'm not an art person. They all look the same to me."

"It gets easier once you what you're looking for. Mind if I?" Feliciano pointed to Ludwig's laptop.

"Go right ahead."

"Thanks." Felciano moved it so Ludwig couldn't what he was typing. Ocassioanly glancing down at his textbook. When he was done he turned the laptop back around. On the screen was a painting of a group of men. The one in the center was holding his arm up. Another one was handing him something in a goblet. The main thing of notice was that they were dressed in Ancient Greece style clothing.

"Are you sure this is correct?" Ludwig asked looking at it. "This looks like something from the Renaissance."

"This was painted in 1787 and is called the "Death of Socrates". One way you can tell the difference is the Renaissance tends to focus on more religious subjects while Neoclassicism is more about Greek and Roman history and mythology."

"So this is a good example?" Feliciano nodded. Ludwig added the picture to the slideshow. With Feliciano's help, it was easy to describe how it was a good example. Whenever he was confused, Feliciano was quick to open his textbook to explain it to him. They repeated the process a few more times until everything was all set.

"That was surprisingly easy," Ludwig said leaning back in his chair a little.

"Well, now you're done!" Felciano gave a small applause.

"I can't believe I'm this is but I think I actually understand an art movement." Ludwig turned towards Feliciano. "I can't thank you enough for this."

"Don't mention it." Feliciano placed his hand on Ludwig's shoulder. The two glanced at it for a second before moving away quickly. Both of them felt their faces heat up as they looked away. After an awkward period of silence, Feliciano said, "It's really nothing."

"It, uh, just means a lot to me. You came all this way. Which in all honesty you didn't have to. We could have."

"But I wanted to," Feliciano said with his signature warm smile. "I like hanging out with you."

Ludwig was about to say something when his phone rang. Quickly he picked it up. "Sorry, it's my mom."

"How have things been between you two?" Feliciano asked sheepishly.

"A lot better than I ever thought," Ludwig said but his voice was shaking a little as he spoke.

"Is something wrong?" Felician asked turning towards.

"This is probably stupid." Ludwig sighed a little. "But this whole thing just seems too good to be true. My parents accept me for who I am without a problem. They didn't ask a single question on it. Not even an 'are you sure about this?' There has to be something to this, I feel like I'm in a movie or something!"

"Well, those movies have to be based on something," Feliciano said hopefully.

"A fantasy." Ludwig looked down.

"Then yours is one turned real." Feliciano laughed somberly a little. "I wish mine could have so much better."

"How bad was it?" Ludwig asked.

"I don't really like talking about." Feliciano shivered and his face went pale.

"That bad?" Feliciano nodded slowly.

"Luckily I had some people that helped me get through that time." He grabbed Ludwig's hand and paused for a moment. "And if you ever need someone, I'll be here."


	12. Chapter 12

Feliciano looked at the painting in front of him. He smiled a little before holding it back close to him. He couldn't be too careful. When he reached the Art Education building he almost ran in. He looked around a bit, the hall was full of many metal stands. With over half of them having some sort of artwork on them. In the center of the main hall was a decently sized table with some small sculptures.

Slowly he walked by the empty stands before seeing a note with his name of it. He stroked the name on it, _Feliciano Vargas._ His fingers paused over Feliciano. Taking a deep breath in and smiled a little. Carefully he placed his painting on the stand. Adjusting it a little to make sure it was straight. He sighed before stepping back a little. Looking up at the clock he saw that the event was starting in a little over three hours. Feliciano adjusted his back a little before running out the door.

* * *

"Hey Feliciano," Tezera said as he walked through the door. "Are you excited for tonight?"

"I think I'm more nervous than excited," he admitted and he hung his jacket up by the door.

"You don't need to be," she said. "Everyone will love your piece."

"And we can't wait to see it," Tolys added.

"Thanks, guys," Feliciano picked up his backpack. He smiled a little before heading upstairs. Once in his room, he looked at himself in the mirror. Probably for longer than he should have. He took a deep breath and walked over to his closet. Searching around he pulled out his nicest shirt. It was was white with thin sky blue horizontal stripes. Afterward, he grabbed a pair of khakis. He laid them out on his bed and pulled out his drawing tablet. Setting a timer he started drawing.

When the timer went off Feliciano saved his work. Stretching a little he put all his stuff away and gathered his nice clothes. Slowly he poked his head out of the door and didn't see anyone. Slowly he grabbed his towels and walked to the bathroom. Clutching the towel close to his chest. He slowly knocked on the door and didn't get a response. He turned the door and walked in a bit awkwardly. After locking the door he turned on the shower. He stood there for an awkward amount of time. Taking a deep breath he undressed and stepped in.

"I have nothing to worry about," Feliciano said to himself. "This night is going to go great and I'll be one step closer to working my dream job."

When he was done he dried himself off and put on the clothes he chose. As he walked back to his room he dried off his hair. Grabbing a comb he started to style his hair. He spent some time trying to get his one stray curl to stay place, before deciding to use some hair gel stick it down. Silently praying to himself that it would stay for the entire night.

Walking over to his desk he dug through the drawer and pulled out the small container of concealer. He crouched down in front of a small mirror and started to apply it. Spending more time around his cheeks and his eyes. Grabbing a small sponge he gently blended it in.

"I can do this," he to himself as he took another deep breath in. Doing one last check out the window he saw that the sky was still clear. He smiled. Quietly he walked downstairs. Surprisingly he didn't see any of his housemates. Grabbing his jacket he headed back to the Heartsdale.

* * *

"Wow, this looks amazing," Feliciano thought to himself as he walked into the Art Education building. The main hall was decorated of pride flags of all kinds. Some he didn't even recognize. By the doorway, there was a table with a dark red table cloth with GSA on the front. He could see little buttons and stickers.

As Feliciano walked to his spot he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned and a pink, blue, and white flag was facing him. Staring at it he started feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Looking down he walked away forcing himself to keep facing forward.

He walked to the back room where he placed his coat on a desk. When he was back out in the main hall he walked around and admired the other works. As he walked around he noticed a pattern in most of the works. They two people or a few couples of the same gender embracing in some way. There were at least five versions of them. The second most popular one was some form of a heart with a pride flag of some kind.

"Alright everyone," the professor running the event said as she walked in the main hall. "Please go near your artwork. The event will start in a few."

Feliciano took a deep breath in and over to his painting. He adjusted his clothes a little and straightened up. Carefully he looked at his painting again. It was of a bunch of people facing the sunrise. Each of them proudly wearing a different pride flag across their backs. Above all of them was a bright rainbow shining down on them.

A few moments later Feliciano saw some people starting to enter. He bolted straight up. As more people entered he didn't see any of his suitemates. Occasionally someone would stop by and admire his for a bit. Some would ask a question or two. And one and a while he would recognize someone and they would chat for a bit.

"Feliciano!" he heard after a bit and saw everyone walking in. Immediately he smiled and waved them over.

"So this is the painting you've been keeping secret for the past few months," Tezera said as she looked it over.

"Well, I've been very nervous about it." Feliciano looked down a little.

"Why everything you create is so good?" Victoria gestured towards the paintings. Moving her arms very quickly.

"Thanks," Feliciano said a little quietly.

"The Other Colors," Toyls read from the small sign below the painting. "Where did you come up with that?"

"Well, it's because," Feliciano paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "People always focus on the gay part of LGBT and the other sexualities and identities get overlooked. I wanted to highlight the other ones. Like bisexual, asexual, agender, etc. And since the main pride flag is a rainbow in a way I'm showing the other colors of it."

Everyone nodded and smiled. Felician stood there quietly. With a smile plastered on his face. After a bit, they walked away to look at some of the other art. Feliciano did not object. He stayed there repeating the same things to everyone.

"Alright everyone," the professor said after awhile. "It's time for the last vote."

Feliciano gulped a little and turned away. Gently he placed a hand on his painting. He saw a large crowd around the main table. It was hard to see who exactly they were voting for. He shrugged. There was no need to. When everyone was done they took the box away and walked to the back. Feliciano stared in their direction shaking as the seconds went by. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Immediately he jumped a little.

"Sorry," Kiku said as stepped back a little. Everyone else walked up to them.

"Oh no it's my fault," Feliciano replied turning towards them. "I didn't see you there. Also a little on the edge."

"Don't worry about it." Mei leaned in a little and whispered to him. "We all voted for you."

"You guys didn't have to," Feliciano said quietly. "There are plenty of other good paintings and sculptures to vote for. it doesn't just have to be me."

"Oh come on you had the best painting here," Tezera said leaning a little and crossing her arms.

"I doubt that." Feliciano looked down and laughed a little.

"I saw a lot of other people stop to admire it," Tolys said with an encouraging smile. "I think you have a decent shot."

"Will the artist please step forward."

"Looks like I got to go now," Feliciano said walking back a little. As he turned around everyone gave him a thumbs up.

Feliciano stood up there facing everyone. The non-competitors started to form a small crowd around where everyone else was standing.

"We have the top three. In third place _Hearts of Pride_ by Alex Collins."

Immediately small cheers erupted from a small group. Everyone else applauded as Alex ran up to the front. she quickly waved to everyone before stepping to the side. As everything was settling down Feliciano could hear a few whispers coming from around him.

"Next in second place." Feliciano leaned against the wall a little. "Is The Other Colors by Feliciano Vargas."

Immediately Feliciano froze a little. The people next to him turned to him and applauded for him. After a few seconds, he shook himself off a little before running up to the professors. They handed him a small envelope as he shook both of their hands. Quickly he waved to his friends, Who were cheering as loud as they could for him. He smiled widely not caring what happened next. As in this moment, he won.


	13. Chapter 13

"Only two more days then I can go home," Alfred said as he looked at the calendar. "Wow, I lucked out this year."

"Doesn't Matthew have a final on the last day?" Ludwig asked, turning a page in his book.

"Does he?" Alfred paused for a moment.

"I remember him complaining about it this morning at work."

"I hope he doesn't," Alfred sat down on his desk. "I don't think I could handle three days of doing nothing."

"Can't help you there."

"I can't wait for Christmas break!" He turned towards Ludwig. "You and your folks going up to that cabin again?"

"Yes."

"Cool will your cousins be there?"

"I believe so." Ludwig turned the page in his book again. He focused on it but the words started to get jumbled in his mind. He slides a folded piece of paper on it and closed the book. He stood up and walked over to the fridge. Pulling out a bottle of water, he took a small sip of it.

"What class are you studying for?" Alfred asked.

"My Economics Class." Ludwig took another sip of his water.

"Gross."

"It's not that bad." Ludwig walked back to his desk. He stared at his textbook and his head started to hurt a little. Gently he rubbed it a little. He leaned back a little and tried to clear his mind.

"Something wrong dude?" Alfred asked about a few minutes.

"I'm honestly not sure I've been a bit once edge recently."

"Probably just finals."

"This may seem weird but I don't think it's finals stress." Ludwig leaned on his desk for a few seconds. "I've been feeling like this for a few weeks now. I don't know why but I feel like something bad is going to happen."

"Why's that?" Alfred turned in his chair a little.

Ludwig remained quiet. He tried to think of what to say but everything sounded wrong. He leaned back and sighed. Looking over he saw Alfred facing hm He didn't look annoyed or anything like that. Just curious.

"I guess everything just feels too good to be true. I came out to my parents and they accept me. What if it's all fake?"

"Your parents are two of the nicest people I know. And I live with Matt. I'm sure they mean it when they support you."

"I hope you're right," Ludwig said very quietly. Alfred gave him an assuring smile. Ludwig sat back down and opened his textbook again. He picked it up and leaned back his chair. The first minutes went well. But after a few minutes, the words started to jumble in his mind. He started seeing words like accepting, factors, etc. Slowly he shook a little and his hands started to feel a little calmy. Quietly closed the book and sat in silence.

* * *

"And done," Felician said as he held up some anatomy sketches up. He smiled and placed it in a manilla folder. Stretching a little he stood up and walked over to his backpack. Carefully he placed the folder in it. Making sure that it didn't bend. He sighed in relief once it was in safely. Zipping his backpack up he turned around and started to walk downstairs.

"Hey Feli," Tezera said as he walked downstairs. He smiled at her as he walked into the kitchen. "So, do you know when you're going home?"

"In about four days," he called from the kitchen. He opened the fridge and looked around it for a few seconds. Grabbing a can of soda he closed the door and walked back out.

"Is it just me or do you always have a finale on the last day?" Tolyis said as Feli sat on the arm of the couch.

"I just," he paused for a second. "Don't really want to go home."

At that moment the room went silent. Everyone looked at each other awkwardly. A few minutes later Tezera spoke up to change the subject. Feliciano turned around and slowly took a sip of his drink. He sighed and stared up the ceiling. The background noise slowly faded away. Gently he placed his can of soda on a table near him. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind.

_Darling no one is going to like you if you keep this up._ Felician shook his head quickly trying to get that thought out of his head.

_What you're doing is unnatural._

"It's not," Feliciano said to himself so quietly that even he could barely hear it. His arms remained frozen in place. The only movement he felt was how they were shaking. A few minutes later he started feeling some tears forming in his eyes. Immediately he shot straight up. Quickly wiping the tears away. Looking behind him he saw no one looking in his direction. He took his drink and turned around like nothing ever happened.

* * *

"Don't worry Mom I'll leave before it gets dark," Ludwig said as he adjusted his cellphone a little. He walked over to his closet and started over his shirts. "I've driven home before."

"I know but I get worried about you," his mom said. "Do you at least know what time you're leaving?"

"It will around half an hour or so after I finish my final tomorrow," Ludwig took out a few shirts and started to fold them. "In fact, I'm packing as we speak."

"I figured that," his mom laughed a little. "You're always one step ahead."

Ludwig smiled to himself. He started to put the shirts in his suitcase.

"How much more do you have to do?" his mom asked softly.

"Just some more clothes." Ludwig looked over what he already packed. "And my bedsheets."

"Well sounds like your in a good place." His mom paused for a moment. "I don't want to keep you away from your work. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"And don't forget I love you no matter what."

"Why did she say that?" Ludwig thought to himself before saying "I love you too."

Then both of them hung up. He stared at his phone for a few seconds. Taking a deep breath placed it down. He walked back to his closet and started going through his clothes again. Going through clothes taking out the ones he knew would be warm. As he walked by his desk he heard a small thud. Turning around he saw the picture of his family lying down on his desk. After placing his clothes down he picked up the frame. Gently he touched it and placed it back where it was but slightly moved.

* * *

"One more day then I'm going home," Feliciano sighed as he climbed out of bed. As he walked through his house he heard virtually silence. Only hearing cars and occasionally a bird tweeting. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was practically empty. The only thing remaining was some water and some other nonperishables. Feliciano sighed and walked back to his room. He grabbed his largest sweatshirt and backpack and walked outside.

As Feliciano walked across town he kept his head down and facing forward. He tried to keep his distance away from other people. Luckily barely anyone was on the street. And those who were didn't seem to notice him. Quietly he walked into a small coffee shop. He ordered a black coffee and an everything bagel. He walked back outside and started walking towards the town center.

Once there he the giant large fountain. He walked over to it and sat on its edge. Smiling he smiled and listened to the sound of the water running down behind. As he ate he remembered the first time he came to this place. It was during his first semester at Heartsdale. After an incident in his foundations of painting class, he ran off the premise. When he came across this fountain, he immediately felt calm. He just sat there and stared off into the distance. A few minutes later Mei and Kiku found him there. They sat next to him and from that moment on the three of them were best friends.

"I wish I could stay here forever."


	14. Chapter 14

"Well, here we are," Lovino said as he and Feliciano sat in their living room. "Our last winter break together."

"Really? We should do something together then," Feliciano said as he leaned over the arm of the couch. "Maybe see a movie or something similar."

"Hmm, that would be nice," Lovino grabbed the soda can from the table and took a sip. "But I would like to start some job hunting at some point"

"But there aren't any good movies around this time."

"Yeah, we'll find something. When's the last time we got to see and make fun of a bad movie?" Lovino stretched a little and stood up.

As Lovino walked out of the room, Feliciano pulled out his phone. He opened his text messages. Slowly he scrolled down to his parents and found no texts from either of them. He sighed in relief. He closed it quickly and started looking over his games. A few minutes later Lovino walked back in the room, with a bowl of chips. He placed them on the table. He grabbed a handful. Looking over at Feliciano, he gestured for him to take some. Feliciano sat up a little and grabbed a handful for himself.

"Do you know if Marcello is doing anything after school?" Feliciano asked as he ate his chips.

"I think he's going to one of his friend's house." Lovino paused for a minute. "Though Mom told me to keep my eyes on my phone."

"She didn't tell me that," Feliciano mumbled to himself.

"And you're surprised?" Feliciano jumped back a little.

"Not really," Feliciano said even quieter.

"Don't worry." Lovino leaned back and smiled widely. "Soon I'll be working full time and have my place. Then when you're on break you can go there and never set foot in this house again."

"Except to visit Marcello."

Lovino laughed a little. "As if."

"He's my little brother," Feliciano said immediately and firmly.

"I mean coming here." Lovino rolled his eyes a little. "I'll be the one to pick him up and bring him to our apartment."

Feliciano smiled and took another sip of his drink. Lovino looked at his phone again. For the next few hours, everything was calm. Feliciano couldn't help but smile. It was so calm and peaceful.

After a few minutes, Feliciano stood up and walked upstairs in his room. He sighed as he slowly walked in. The bright pinks walls and motivational posters stared at him as he walked in. He sighed and collapsed on his bed. Immediately a fuzzy, pink heart-shaped pillow fell on him. He picked it and held over his head. Just staring at it. Soon he tossed it behind him. Sitting up straight he leaned back on the back of the bed. Then he heard a car drive into the driveway.

"Well here goes nothing," Feliciano said as he stood up. He took a deep breath and started walking downstairs.

* * *

"I know you just got back," Karla said as she sat down on Ludwig's bed. "But it makes things easier for going to the lake house."

"Don't worry Mom, I already set aside clothes for the trip."

"Look at you always planning ahead," Karla said wrapping her arm around him. Gently she kissed him on the forehead and smiled at him.

"Mom are you okay?" Ludwig asked after a few seconds.

"Of course." Karla stroked his cheek. "Just happy to have you back."

"And I'm happy to be back." Karla kissed him on the forehead again. Before standing up and leaving his room. Ludwig stared for a second before going back to unpacking. He put a few of his clothes in his drawers. After that, he sat there and stared off. His mind started to get all fogged up. He felt himself starting to get colder and breathing getting heavier. Eventually, he leaned his head on his bed. He sighed. Moving his bag off his bed, he climbed on it and stared at the wall. At one point he thought he heard someone move towards his room. But when he looked no one was there.

The next morning Ludwig went downstairs and saw his parents in the living room.

"Good morning Mom, Dad," Ludwig said as he walked into the living room.

"Good morning Ludwig," Wolfgang said as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Morning Sweetie." Karla gave him the same smile she gave him last night. "There are some bagels in the kitchen if you want one."

"Thank you, Mom." Ludwig walked into the kitchen. As his mother said he saw a package of regular bagels on the counter. He grabbed one and put it in the toaster. Taking a glass out he started to pour himself a glass of orange juice. After a few seconds, he thought he heard his parents talking and took a few steps back. Not far enough so they wouldn't see him.

"It's just not something you talk about," he heard his mom said quietly.

"It will be alright darling," his father said calmly. "Feelings like that tend to go away."

 _Go away._ The words started to repeat in his head. Immediately Ludwig walked back up to the toaster. He leaned on the counter and watched his bagel cook. He could still hear his parents talking in the living room. Unintentionally he started to hold his breath. He could feel a few nervous sweats forming on his forehead. Quickly he wiped them away. Longer than he hoped, he heard the toast ding. He sighed a little and grabbed his bagel. As he walked back to the living room he remained quiet. Slowly he sat down.

"So are there any guys that have your interest?" Karla asked before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Not really," Ludwig said as he took a bite of his bagel.

"Well," Karla put her mug down. "You'll find someone eventually."

Ludwig gave her a smile before looking back down. He continued eating in silence. Occasionally looking at his parents. For the moment nothing seemed wrong.

* * *

 _I just don't know if it's a good idea._ Feliciano sent to a group chat with his friends. He rolled on his stomach. Placing his phone on his pillow, he sighed. It was silent for a while. He could quietly hear Marcello and Lovino playing a video game in the next room. When he heard Marcello laugh a little from the other room, he couldn't help but smile.

"I'm glad those two are having fun," Feliciano said as he smiled. A few seconds later he heard his phone buzz. Immediately, he grabbed it and opened the text messages.

 _I think it's a great idea!_ A message from Mei said

 _But we barely know each_ other. Feliciano responded after a few seconds.

 _What's going on?_ Tezera sent. Feliciano sighed and leaned back on his bed.

 _Oh, Feliciano wants to draw something for Ludwig for Christmas but doesn't think it's a good idea._ Mei sent less than a minute later. Feliciano frowned a little and shook his head.

_What were you thinking of drawing?_

_Not sure. I remember him mentioning an old dog of his so maybe that._ Feliciano thought back to the picture of Ludwig in his graduation cap and gown while kneeling next to an old german shepherd.

 _Oh my god, are you talking about Aster?_ Feliciano was taken aback. The name certainly had some familiarity.

 _That name sounds familiar_ Feliciano smiled weakly. He sulked a bit.

_I might be able to help you. Just give me a sec._

Feliciano kept staring at his phone. His other friends started to encourage him. Mainly about how Ludwig would love a gift from him. Feliciano felt his face starting to heat up as he read some of the texts. He grabbed a nearby pillow and embraced it.

 _Guys, I don't know him that well. He'll probably feel super_ awkward _if I do it._ Feliciano buried his head in the pillow. He held back his scream as best he could. After a few seconds, he turned to his brothers' room. He didn't hear anything except what sounded like them yelling at each other.

 _Hey, guys, I'm back_ Tezera sent after a while. Immediately anyone who was typing stopped. Feliciano held his breath as she typed. _Talked to Emma and she was able to get me this_

Below her message and was a picture of the same dog from the picture. However, the dog looked younger and was by himself in this one. He could tell it was the dog due to the blue color with a silver dog tag. The dog tag was of a distinct shape that Feliciano couldn't describe.

 _That's the dog!_ Feliciano sent.

 _Yup, that's Aster._ _I asked Emma about it, she said Ludwig would love it._

Feliciano smiled and save the picture. He quickly pulled out his tablet and sent the photo to it. He placed the picture on a blank canvas. Starting to sketch he let his ideas fly free.


	15. Chapter 15

"Are you sure you want this here?" Feliciano said as he adjusted an old stable on a small table.

Lovino turned from the box he was emptying. "Yeah, it looks fine."

Feliciano looked back at the stable before looking down at the box in front of him. The top and edges were taped up in different places and one of the top flaps was ripped in half. On the front of the box were the words, _Nativity Scene._ Below it was a small drawing of the scene. Feliciano smiled and gently placed a hand on the writing.

_"Okay, sweetie what do you want to put on next?" an older man said as Feliciano dug through the box._

_"This one grandpa," he said holding up an angel._

_"Okay then," His grandpa said before picking him so Feliciano was sitting on his lap. "Now where do you want this to go?"_

_Feliciano held the angel up to his face. He looked back at the stable. The table was mostly empty except for a few animals and a shepherd. Feliciano's attention soon turned to the stable. It was almost empty except for the donkey. He quietly turned to his grandfather._

_"Go ahead," he said softly. "Put it wherever you want."_

_Feliciano reached out to the back of the stable. Gently he placed the angel down._

_"You know what," his grandfather said as he put Feliciano back on his lap. "Right there is just perfect."_

Feliciano smiled as he wiped a tear from his eye. He turned back to the box. Reaching back into it he pulled out a figure wrapped up in newspaper. Feliciano smiled again. He knew exactly what it was. Carefully he unwrapped it. There sat in the old angle figure. Looking as it did ten years ago. Without hesitation, he placed it right in the back of the stable.

"There," Feliciano said as he put the angle down. "Right where it belongs."

* * *

"Man it is so good to be back," Gilbert said as he stepped out the car. He leaned on the hood of the car as Ludwig stepped out. There it was. The family cabin. Looking like it's made of old worn down wood while still having a modern style. "I wish we could live here."

"Then these trips wouldn't be special," Ludwig said as he walked over the back of the car. He opened the truck up.

"You're sounding like Mom." Gilbert laughed a little. Ludwig rolled his eyes but still smiled. As he pulled out his suitcase he heard a beep. Looking over he saw his father's car pull up. His mom waving from the passenger seat.

"It's so beautiful here," Karla said as she stepped out of the car. She sighed as she closed the door and took a deep breath in to take in the air.

Ludwig smiled as he closed the trunk. He grabbed his suitcase in one hand and grabbed his laptop with the other. Walking over to the doorway, he stood at the bottom of the stairs. Once his father opened the door he carefully walked up the stairs inside. Ludwig smiled a little as he walked into the living room. After a few seconds, he turned to the main staircase. He made his way to his old bedroom. He stood in there for a second before placing his stuff down.

Once he got downstairs he walked back outside. He walked towards his father's car and opened the trunk. Puling out the front bags, he grabbed as much as he could. He walked back inside and opened them up. Seeing that they were full of food, he placed them behind the kitchen counter. He repeated this process until both cars were empty. As he walked in with the last bag he saw his mom in the kitchen putting away food. He looked down and saw the two bags in his hands. Both had snack food bags in them. With a small smile, he walked over to her.

"Hi Mom, do you need any help?" He asked placing the bags on the counter. Karla remained quiet but Ludwig could swear she was mumbling to herself. "Um, Mom?"

"Huh," Karla froze for a second. She looked around before seeing Ludwig. "Oh, Ludwig I didn't see you there. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just wanted to know if you needed any help."

"No, I'm fine." Karla sped walked and grabbed the bags. Ludwig stood there for a second. He looked down for a second before slowly walking upstairs. For a few moments, he sat in his room silently. After a while, he started to unpack his clothes.

"Hey, Ludwig look who's here?" Gilbert said poking his head through the doorway.

"Hey, cousin," a young man said walking in. He ran over and hugged him tightly. "Long time no see."

"Nice to see you too, Axel," Ludwig said rather quietly.

"I'm here too," someone else said walking in.

"Hi, Friedrich," Ludwig spoke even quieter. He took a decent size step away from his cousin.

"Are you okay?" Axel asking walking a bit closer. Ludwig stepped back further.

"Have you too talked to my parents at all?"

"We saw her downstairs," Friedrich said. "Why?"

"Have you talked to them since Thanksgiving at all?"

"Bro you're acting weird." Gilbert walked into the room. "Did something happen?"

"Did something happen on Thanksgiving?" Axel and Friedrich looked at each other. Gilbert kept his mouth closed and gestured to Ludwig.

"They didn't say anything about." He paused for a moment. Struggling to get the words out. "That I'm gay."

Axel and Friedrich looked at each other for a second.

"So, you like guys?" Friedrich asked. Ludwig nodded slowly.

"You called it," Axel said turning towards Gilbert.

"I know right."

"I'm sorry what's this about?" Ludwig asked in a tone that was a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"Oh, a few years ago we somehow, got on the subject if we knew anyone who was gay. Gilbert immediately said you were one."

Ludwig stood there for a few moments. "So, you two are okay with it?"

"Of course."

Freidrich walked over to Ludwig and placed his hand on his shoulder. "You're still the same cousin I grew up with. And you being gay doesn't change anything."

"So are we going to stay around standing here or are we going chill out?" Gilbert asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Oh I brought my PS4," Axel said starting to exit the room. "Gilbert, want to play some Call of Duty?"

"Oh you bet," Gilbert said as he followed him out of the room. Ludwig walked over to his suitcase and pulled out a book. He climbed on one of the beds. A few minutes later, Gilbert and Axel returned. Axel holding the gaming system in one arm. As he started to set it up on the TV, Gilbert grabbed one of the controllers and eagerly awaited for it to start.

"You ready to lose?" Axel said as he turned on the game.

"Only if you are."

Ludwig kept focusing on his book. Occasionally looking up whenever Gilbert or Axel started yelling at each other. He looked over and saw Friedrich was writing something in his notebook. He kept trying to go back to his book but the surrounds were getting louder. After a few more minutes of this, he got up and grabbed his headphones and mp3 player. He turned on the music and continues reading. As time went on, he started feeling his eyelids getting heavier. Shrugging a little he closed his book and turned over on his side.

Next thing Ludwig knew, he was waking up and it was getting dark outside. Sitting up he looked around and saw the room was empty. Once he had woken up a little more he walked downstairs. The whole looked empty. Slowly he into the kitchen he saw his mom and aunt talking to each other.

"Mom," Ludwig said a bit cautiously. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh, they left to get the Christmas tree." His mom said still looking at his aunt.

Ludwig stood there. His mother said something else but he couldn't register what it was. Without saying anything he quickly walked outside. He could feel the cold breeze against his face. He didn't care. Walking away from the door he saw the old porch swing and sat down on it. Images of the past years started flashing in his mind. He, his father, brother, uncle, and cousins searching through the seemingly endless rows of trees. Ever since he could remember he was there picking the tree. As thought about it tears started forming in his eyes.

"I knew it," Ludwig buried his face in his hands. His voice breaking with every word. "Everything would change for the worse."

"Sweetheart maybe you should." Karla started to say as she walked outside. She stopped she saw her son. "Ludwig are you okay?"

Ludwig didn't answer. He didn't even look up. The sound of footsteps echoed in the silence. As he felt the swing move, he could feel his mom wrap her arm around him.

"What's bugging you?" Karla asked. Ludwig remained silent and turned his head away. His mother moved her arm to his back. She spoke gently, "just so you know; I'm not leaving until I get an answer."

"It's nothing," Ludwig mumbled. He felt his mom remove his hand.

"No it's not," Karla said firmly. She thought about it for a few moments. "If you're upset they left without you. Gilbert tried to wake you but."

"Yeah, sure they did," Ludwig said sarcastically.

"I mean it, Ludwig. I don't why you're so upset over it."

"Of course you don't understand!" Ludwig turned to her and shouted. Immediately he turned away. "You'll never understand! The year I come out. The first time I finally feel like I can be myself in years is the first time I'm forgotten in a family tradition. Don't think I don't see that. You see me as a freak."

"How long have you known?" Ludwig didn't answer. Only walked over to the edge of the porch. "How long have you known you were gay?"

"For four years."

"Four years?" His mom's voice started to break as she said that. "Have you seen yourself like that for all this time? Ludwig, I promise you're not a freak."

"Then why have you and Dad been acting so distant lately?" Ludwig said still facing away.

"Because, because I feel ashamed of myself. Ever since you and your brother born your father and I have tried to make it so you could be honest with us. when you told you were gay, you sounded relucted too. I've been feeling like I failed as a mother. You're right I can't understand how you feel. And I know it's hard for my words to hold weight right now. But I promise you I don't care who you love. I just want you to be happy."

Ludwig was at a loss for words. He felt frozen in place. Soon he felt the familiar embrace of his mother. Immiadatly he turned around and hugged her back.

"I'm, I'm so sorry Mom," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. It's, it's just I've had these feelings for a while."

"I understand honey." She stepped away and grabbed his hand. "Come on let's go back inside. We can make hot chocolate as we always do."

Ludwig smiled as they started to walked back inside. "I'd love too, Mom."


	16. Chapter 16

"You guys sure you can fund everything all right?" Lovino asked as the three brothers walked into the mall.

"Yes," Feliciano turned towards Marcello who nodded. "We'll be fine."

"Okay, you got the car keys?"

"Yes." Feliciano held them up. "And I'll be back here at eight to pick you up."

"Alright alright," Lovino said as he started to walked away a bit faster. "Make sure you two stick together."

"Come on Marcello," Feliciano said as the two started walking in the opposite direction. The two walked towards a department store. Marcello staying a few steps behind Feliciano. Occasionally the two would look and each other and exchange smiles at each other. After poking around for a bit the two made their way to the store's women's department.

"Here we go," Feliciano said as he walked over. "There's got to be something we can buy for Mom here."

Marcello quietly walked over. He started to search through some of the racks. Feliciano walked over to a different one and started searching. After a while, he stopped. Looking at the sweater in his hand, he couldn't help but think, is it worth it? Was anything he was doing to make his parents happy worth it? He leaned a little on the rack. He stayed there a little before feeling a tap on his shoulder.

"What do you think of this?" Marcello asked holding up a red sweater.

"I think she'll like it." Feliciano gave him an assuring smile.

"Did you find anything?"Marcello asked, albeit rather quietly.

Feliciano turned towards the rack behind him. "Oh, nothing caught my eye."

"You, sure?" Marcello raised his eyebrow a little.

"I'm sure. Don't worry, I'll find something somewhere else."

As the two stood in line, Feliciano found those thoughts from earlier returning to his mind. Each time he mentally slapped himself. When the transaction was done the two continued walking around the mall for a little bit. This time the two walking side by side. Marcello holding onto the bag tightly. They walked into a few more clothes stores but each time walking out with nothing.

"Feliciano, can we grab food?" Marcello asked as they walked out of one of the stores.

"Okay let's go."

The two walked over to the food court and each got lunch. The two ate for a little bit in silence with Marcello looking down as he did.

"Feliciano are you happy here?" Marcello asked after a little bit.

"What do you mean." Feliciano laughed a little but paused for a little bit. "Of course I am."

"But you sound happier we talk over the phone when you're at college." Marcello looked down and Feliciano could tell he was looking at the shopping bag. "Is there something wrong about here?"

"What of course not!" Feliciano thought about it. He looked at Marcello. There were so many things he wanted to say. But could Marcello handle everything, that Feliciano wanted to say? Looking around he saw a bunch of people sitting at the nearby tables. Some talking other remaining silent. He knew at least a few would here. And a few would stare. Now was not the time. "I promise you, Marcello, everything is fine."

* * *

"Oh come on," Gilbert said as he, Ludwig, Axel, and Friedrich walked over to the lift. "You can't keep denying it."

"From the last time it's not true," Ludwig said annoyed as he adjusted his snowboard.

"Just admit it. There's no point in it."

"I did not realize I was gay when watching Aladdin."

"You can it all you want but,"

"Hey, Ludwig you want to ride on the lift together?" Axel asked stepping in front of Gilbert, interrupting the latter's sentence. Gilbert had to step back a little.

"I would honestly really appreciate that," Ludwig said as the four got into line. It was for one of the Intermediate hills. A level 6 to be exact. The four of them had been snowboarding since they were preteens. While they were good, they didn't see themselves as experts. Though Gilbert certainly believed it to be the case. Honestly, Ludwig was a hundred percent sure Gilbert was looking for an excuse to show off. He could even hear Gilbert slightly claiming that this one was going to be a breeze. Ludwig chose to ignore him before getting on the lift. Once Ludwig and Axel got off it, they made their way to the top of the path. They stood there for a few moments before Gilbert and Friedrich caught up.

"You guys want to race down this one?" Gilbert asked as he bent down a little getting into a racing position.

"What are we thirteen?" Friedrich asked moving a little closer to the slope.

"Oh you're just mad you've lost more than you won," Gilbert teased.

Ludwig sighed as he moved to the slope. He looked at the others and lowered his goggles over his eyes. Before Gilbert could respond, Ludwig started his descent. He could hear Gilbert yell a little but Ludwig didn't care. The cold wind was blowing on his face and the thrill of the track was flowing through him. Keeping his eyes in front of him he kept looking out for obstacles. Making sure to turn quickly when whenever a tree or something else came in his way. When he reached the bottom he stretched a little as the other three caught up.

"Cheater," Gilbert said as he slapped Ludwig on the back of his head.

"I never said I was racing," Ludwig said as he removed his goggles. He bent down and unbuckled his snowboard off. "I'm taking a break inside."

"Count me in," Axel said following suit. The other two quickly deciding on the same thing.

Walking in they saw the rest area was pretty crowded. Mostly families with children either from or waiting to go tubing. Some older ones had skis and snowboards. Very excited for their next trip down the slope. After a few minutes, they were able to find a small table and sat down for a few moments. Ludwig leaned his snowboard against his chair. Carefully to make sure it would slide down.

"When did our parents say they wanted us back?" Gilbert asked.

"By five o'clock," Ludwig said as he finished placing his snowboard down.

Gilbert looked behind him to see the clock on the wall. "So we got about an hour and a half, maybe two hours to go."

"That should give us enough time for a few more runs down," Axel said with a smile.

"Hopefully the lines won't be too long," Freidrich said looking at the large crowd around them.

"Oh, we'll be fine." Gilbert shrugged Friechrich's concern off. "Let's not think about it and enjoy it."

* * *

"Were you and Marcello able to get everything?" Lovino asked as he buckled himself into the car.

"You bet," Feliciano responded with a smile. He started up the car and started on the way back home.

"So what did you get Mom and Dad?" Lovino asked after a little bit.

"I ended up getting Mom a candle and Dad a tie." Feliciano smiled and saw Lovino give him a look. "I haven't removed them from the back if you want to see them."

Lovino turned around and saw a single paper shopping bag. He grabbed it and pulled it close to him. Reaching inside he pulled out the candle and looked it over. It was dark green with pictures of pine trees on it. Afterward, he placed it in an empty cup holder, proceeding to pull out the tie. It was a little blue tie with small pink and white stripes on them.

"What do out think?" Feliciano asked smirking a little.

"Well I think the tie is a great idea," Lovino forced back a laugh. "Not sure about the candle though."

"Read the scent again. But more carefully." The wide smirk remained on Feliciano's face.

Lovino picked up the candle again. "Pepper Woods? Sound rather generic to me."

He looked over the rest of the label. Trying to find anything about it. After seeing a word he opened the candle and smelled it a little. Once he a wide grin appeared on his face.

"Is this a faint mint I smell?" Lovino asked moving the candle a little.

"Oh, you bet it." Feliciano leaned back a little and snickered. "The sale women said it gets stronger when it burns."

Lovino laughed even louder. Quickly he returned the items to the bag. As they were nearing the next red light Lovino raised his hand. When they stopped Feliciano high-fived him. Both were in a good mood the entire ride home.

When they made it home Feliciano grabbed the paper bag. As he opened the door he heard the TV on in the living room. He could see his parents watching a cheesy Hallmark movie. He and Lovino said a quick hello before heading upstairs. Feliciano walked into his room and pulled out his tablet. Turning on his phone he plugged his earbuds in and turned on one of his music playlists.

"Only three days left," Feliciano said to himself think of the date. He looked at the drawing currently being displayed. The line art was all finished and the coloring was about halfway complete. "I can do this."


	17. Chapter 17

"Oh Ludwig that's coming out real nice," Karla said as Ludwig finished frosting a cookie. It was a snowman one and Ludwig had just added some red for a scarf.

"Thanks, Mom, could you pass me those white sprinkles next to you?" Ludwig asked pointing to a shaker of them. He looked down at the cookie his mom was decorating. "Are you making a gay pride flag?"

"What I can't support my son with a cookie?" She looked at her cookie. It was a Christmas tree with frosting stripes of red, orange, yellow, and green on it.

"Well no, it's just something many people don't do." Ludwig went back to decorating his cookie. Gently shaking some sprinkles on it.

Karla shrugged off his comment and went back to frosting the cookie. Ludwig took his own and placed it on the center plate. He turned around and grabbed a random one. Staring at it for a moment. This one was a classic gingerbread shape. Despite staring at it for a few minutes. All he could think of was the classic gingerbread man with the stripes, face, and little buttons. Looking at the center plate, he saw that the cookies that his mother and aunt made were more creative. Aside from his mother's rainbow Christmas tree, there were snowmen in unorthodox colors with different branches for arms, Christmas trees with a large variety of patterns, and gingerbread people in different outfits. His mother and aunt were conversing and joking with each other. He sighed and went back to decorating. Choosing not to interrupt them.

"Wow the cookies are looking great this year," Gilbert said reaching out for one. Karla quickly slapped his hand away.

"Ludwig gets first pick when we're all done." Karla crossed her arms and nodded.

"You say that every year." Gilbert sighed staring at the cookies.

"Well maybe if any of you boys helped us too then maybe one of you get to pick first for once." Their aunt said still focusing on decorating her cookie. Ludwig held back a laugh.

When all the cookies were completed they organized them on a festive plate. With his aunt taking the head on it. The plate was moved to the center table and Karla gestured to Ludwig. Looking over the plate he reached for the rainbow Christmas tree. Karla immediately grinned as he grabbed it. Ludwig moved to the couch and pulled a blanket over himself. Everyone else started sitting around and getting comfortable. Karla pulled out an iPad and started scrolling through it.

"Oh, just something many people don't do," Karla smirked a little as she looked at her iPad. She turned the iPad around for Ludwig to see. Looking at it he saw an array of gay pride-themed Christmas cookies.

"Well it's a first for me," Ludwig said before taking another bite from his cookie.

"I knew there had to be something like this." Karla turned towards her sister in law and started showing them to her. Ludwig sighed and leaned back a little. Looking out the window he saw small dots of white fall down.

"Looks like we're going to have a white Christmas this year," Ludwig thought to himself as just watched the snowfall.

* * *

"I look hideous," Feliciano said to himself while looking at his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing a frilly shirt and a nice pair of pants. Looking over he saw some of the other outfits his mother had brought out for him to wear. This one was the most tolerable.

"That is not a good look for you," Lovino said walking in the doorway.

"I hate it," Feliciano said bluntly. He crossed his arms and sighed. "I can't wait for tonight to be over."

"Children hurry up we don't want to be late," their mom called from downstairs.

"Just a minute," Lovino called and rolled his eyes.

"If you're not in the car in five minutes we're leaving without you." The two heard the door slam.

"Maybe I can just stay home this year," Feliciano said as he walked over to his bed and sat down on it.

"You and I both know Mom is bluffing." Lovino sat down next to him. "And if she wasn't. Do you really want to deal with her and Dad yelling at you for hours?"

Feliciano sighed and picked up his tablet. "No matter what it's lose-lose."

Feliciano reached down and grabbed his backpack. Carefully he removed the pins would cause controversy. Gently he placed them on the nightstand.

"At least I'll have you," Feliciano said looking at it. He felt Lovino push him a little and Feliciano couldn't help but laugh.

As he rode in the car, Feliciano remained quiet. Both of his parents were talking to each other as his father drove. Occasionally they would bring either of the three boys into their conversation. Each time they called out Feliciano, he shuttered. Every response he kept short and sweet. If he tried to put in his earbuds, his mother would scold him.

Once at his relatives' house, Felciano said his quick hellos. Many of them kept him there and asked him questions about his college experience. A few of them quietly snarked about his decision to go to art school. With his parents standing very close to him, Feliciano remained quiet. When all of that was done Feliciano grabbed a plate of food. He quietly snuck away from his parents and found an empty room. Quickly he moved a table closed to him. He placed his plate on it and pulled out his tablet. The first thing he did was open up his special drawing. Giving it a final look down, he added a few final touches.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lovino asked walking into the room.

"Just trying to avoid family," Feliciano said as he saved the recent changes to his drawings.

"When are you not," Lovino laughed as he sat down next to him. He took a quick look at what was on Feliciano's tablet. "That's a cool drawing."

"Oh thanks," Feliciano looked it over a bit more. "It's a gift for a friend of mine."

* * *

"It's beautiful," Karla said looking out the window. Over the previous night, the snow had covered the landscape and was shining in the sun.

"It really is," Ludwig said as he looked over the new books he had received.

"Did I get you the right, book?" Wolfgang asked sitting on the couch.

Ludwig looked down at the three books he had received. He picked up the one his father gave him and examined it. "This is the right one."

"Glad it is," Wolfgang took a sip of his coffee.

Ludwig smiled and gathered up his books. He walked upstairs to his room and looked them over again. Taking the one that piqued his interest the most and set it aside. The other two were placed in his bag for safekeeping. As he stood up he felt his phone buzz. Pulling it out he saw a text from Feliciano

_Merry Christmas Ludwig!_ The text message had a few Christmas themed emojis by it. Ludwig couldn't help but smiled as he read it.

_Merry Christmas Feliciano_ Ludwig moved to sit on his bed.

_I know this may seem sudden but I made a little something._

_You didn't have to do that._ Ludwig sighed a little and shook his head. Still, he kept on smiling.

_Oh, it was nothing._

Right after that message was sent, Feliciano sent a digital drawing. What immediately stood out to Ludwig was the familiar figure of a dog. Slowly he tapped on it. The dog figure grew in size. It was standing on some sort of cliff looking back. Despite looking very realistic, Ludwig could tell the dog was smiling. As he examined it a bit more, two grey wings hovered above the dog's body. After seeing them, Ludwig took a closer look at the dog's face. There he saw a familiar-looking collar around the dog's neck. A red collar with a silver diamonded shaped dog tag.

_Is, is that Aster_ _?_ Ludwig asked after looking at it for a few moments. The memory of the dog started filling his mind. He felt a few tears starting to form in his eyes and wiped them away.

_Yes I remembered how you said how much you missed him. And I wanted to find a way to immortalize him._

_I don't know what to say. Thank you_

_You're welcome I'm really glad you liked it_


	18. Chapter 18

"Okay that should be the last of it," Feliciano said as he placed a bag on his bed.

"You sure," Lovino asked cautiously looking over his brother's stuff.

"Yes," Feliciano said as he gently placed his tablet case on his bed.

Lovino looked at his phone and sighed as he put it away. "Well, I got to get going. I'm sorry I have to leave already."

"It's okay." Feliciano gave his brother a comforting smile. "I'll walk you out to the car."

Lovino smile backed before the two went outside. Once outside Feliciano gave his brother a quick hug. As Lovino walked into the car he gave Feliciano a quick wave. Feliciano remained outside until the car had completely driven away. Staying outside for a few extra seconds. A cold wind lew by causing him to shiver a little. Taking this as a sign he walked backed inside. Currently, he was one of the only people back at school. Aside from him, only Berwald and Victoria were back. Feliciano walked upstairs. He stood in his room and smiled. Taking advantage of the quiet Feliciano worked on unpacking his stuff. After a few minutes, the silence started to bug him. He dug through his backpack before pulling out his phone and headphones.

When he was done, Feliciano climbed on his bed. He laid down and closed his eyes. As he laid down, a lot of different imagines start flowing through his mind. He smiled. If his eyelid didn't feel so heavy, he would be drawing right now. The longer he laid down the calmer he felt.

When Feliciano woke up, he looked to his roommate's bed. there he saw a few bags next to it. He immediately smiled. Sitting up, he stretched a little. After that, he got off his bed, careful not to make a sound. He smiled as he quietly made his way downstairs.

"Feli!" Mei said excitingly running up to hug him. Feliciano hugged her back.

"We ordered pizza," Tezera told him, holding up a box. "Want a slice?"

"You know me," Feliciano said walking over and grabbing a slice. "I can't say no to pizza."

"We would have called you down," Mei started to explain as she and Feliciano sat down. "But we all thought you were still asleep."

"It's alright," Feliciano said before taking a bite of pizza.

Tezera leaned on the arm of the couch. She grinned widely and a bit slyly. "So Feliciano, how's your boyfriend doing?"

Feliciano coughed a little. "What do you mean? I don't have a boyfriend."

"Uh, Ludwig?" A few people gasped and everyone started at Feliciano. Tezera remained smiling slyly. Everyone else had eager looks on their faces.

"Ludwig?" Everyone kept staring at him. Mei moved a bit closer to him. Feliciano started to laugh nervously but started to feel his face warm up. "We're just friends."

"He's blushing!" Mei said loudly pointing to him.

Feliciano bolted up. "I getting thirsty. I'm going to see what drinks we have."

He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was still rather empty but he did see an almost full box of cola. He took one out and stayed in there for about a minute. Taking a few quick, deep breaths before head out. He tightly held his soda and he walked out and sat down. Before anyone could say something, he took a sip of it.

"Come on Feli," Tezera leaned closer to him. "You have to admit there's a spark between you and Ludwig."

"There is not," Feliciano said quickly before taking another sip.

"Okay if you think there is something between Feliciano and Ludwig, raise your hand," Tezera asked turning to the rest of the group. Everyone raised their hands. With Kiku hand's practically bolting up.

"Really guys," Feliciano sighed and leaned back a little. "The two of us don't really know each other. We've hung out like twice. I don't think that's enough to form a relationship."

"You did draw him that picture of his dog for Christmas," Mei leaned on the table smirking.

"That was just a friendly gesture!" Feliciano straightened himself up.

"If you say so."

"Guys, can we please change the subject?" Tolyis asked. "It's clearly making Feliciano uncomfortable."

"Okay," Tezera sighed. "So what is the most exciting thing that happened during winter break?"

* * *

"Man does it feel good to be back," Alfred said collapsing on his bed. "How are things going at home?"

"Everything is going well," Ludwig said as he started organizing supplies for classes the next day.

"Even with you being gay?"

"Thankfully," Ludwig smiled a looked up for a minute. "It's been going better than I ever could imagine."

Ludwig looked over at the photo of his family. He reached over and grabbed it. As he looked at it he couldn't help but smile wider. With a few tears in his eyes, he embraced the picture.

"Uh I don't want to interrupt your picture bonding session," Alfred said awkwardly. Ludwig quickly put the picture back. "But Emma wants to know if you want to grab dinner."

Ludwig nodded and climbed off his bed. When Alfred turned around, Ludwig turned around looked at the picture one more time. He quickly smiled at it before heading outside. Despite having only been gone for a month, there was a sense of mystique about being back at college. It was hard to describe but there was something different about it. And as always it would be gone by tomorrow.

After a few seconds, Ludwig felt his phone buzz. As he brought it out, his mind went to Feliciano. Hoping that the message was from him. As he looked at his phone, his face fell a little. It was just an email from one of his professors, reminding them of the class tomorrow. Ludwig sighed before putting his phone away. Looking up he saw Alfred had gotten a few feet ahead of him. Briskly he caught up to him without saying anything.

"So how was your winter break?" Emma asked as everyone sat down.

"It was great!" Alfred said excitedly. "Matt and I had a Maveral movie marathon one weekend. It was awesome!"

"I didn't know Matt liked those movies," Arthur said turning to face Alfred.

"Well, he doesn't love them like I do," Alfred bragged a little as he gestured to himself. "But he is a decent fan. He just isn't vocal about it."

"And here I thought you dragged him to see Endgame," Ludwig said with a small smile.

"Nah we were both super excited about it," Alfred beamed before taking a bite of his burger.

"So Ludwig," Emma said after about a minute. "Tezera said you got a gift from Feliciano. Is that true?"

"Yes," Ludwig said quickly before taking a sip of his drink.

"Can we see it?" Alfred asked excitingly.

"Sure just give me a second," Ludwig pulled out his phone. He opened up the gallery and searched through it for a bit. He reached the drawing and couldn't help but smile again. Gently he placed his phone on the table. Immediately, the other three looked over at it.

"Hey is that your old dog?" Alfred asked looking at it.

"Yes," Ludwig said quietly.

"This is too cute," Emma said looking at it. She zoomed in on it to admire some of the details.

"He sure has some talent," Arthur said looking at it.

"He truly does," Ludwig thought to himself. Still looking at it in awe.

That night, Ludwig laid on his bed. Currently, he was taking up time playing a game. It was that awkward time when it was too late to do anything but too early to go to sleep. After a little bit, Ludwig got bored and exited out of the game. He pressed an app and saw it was messager. His eyes caught Feliciano. Their last conversation being about a week ago.

_Hi Feliciano are you back at campus yet?_

_Yeah, I got back earlier this afternoon. What about you?_

_I got back here this morning._

Ludwig looked over at Alfred. He was currently occupied with something else. He sighed a little before typing. _Do you want to get together to catch up at all?_

_Oh, there's an event next weekend called Winterfest! Do you want to come! I went last year and it's tons of fun_

_Sure, I'd love to._


	19. Chapter 19

"So you're going on your date today?" Alfred asked as Ludwig finished packing his backpack.

"I don't think this counts as a date," Ludwig said as he zipped up his bag. He walked over to the closet and grabbed his jacket. "Feliciano and I are just hanging out together."

"Whatever you say," Alfred leaned back in his chair as he booted up his PC. Ludwig put on his coat and grabbed his hat from its hook. After putting it on he walked over and grabbed his bag. As he walked out of the dorm and towards his car he felt his excitement grow. Letting his car warm up he sent a text to Feliciano.

"How does this look?" Feliciano asked turning towards Mei. He was wearing a dark red long-sleeved shirt with black stripes.

"Like I've been saying it looks fine," Mei sighed.

"Maybe I should try on something else," Feliciano said nervously before walking back to his closet.

"What the big deal anyway?"

"I honestly don't know," Felciano replied as he dug through clothes. He pulled out a short sleeve light blue shirt and put it on. Before he could check it in the mirror, he heard his phone ring. "Ludwig's on his way. This will have to do."

"Uh Feli," Mei said a little cautiously.

"Oh, right I need a jacket." Feliciano grabbed one quickly and put it on. He also grabbed his stuff.

"That's not what I meant," Mei said as Feliciano ran out of the room.

"This is going to be the best day ever!" Feliciano said as he ran to the window. He heard some whispers and giggles behind him. Quickly he turned around and everyone stopped. He smirked a little and shook his head.

"Hey Feliciano we're gonna head out," Tezera said as Mei walked downstairs. "We'll meet you there."

"Sounds like a plan," Feliciano said, waving to them as they. Looking back out the window, he saw many cars passing by. Not sure what Ludwig's looks like, he kept his eyes peeled for any car that looked like it was parking. Roughly eight minutes after he started sitting there, a black car pulled up a few feet away from his house. Feliciano jumped up, almost falling back while doing so. Running outside he saw Ludwig getting out of the car.

"Ludwig!" Feliciano called. He waved as Ludwig looked up.

"Hi Feliciano," Ludwig said. He walked over to the passenger side door. "You haven't been waiting outside the entire time have you?"

"Of course not," Feliciano said. He couldn't help but laugh. Ludwig opened the passenger side door and pulled out a backpack. After locking his car, Ludwig gently placed the keys in one of his backpack pockets.

"So what does this Winterfest involve?" Ludwig asked as the two started walking towards the center of town.

"What doesn't it involve," Feliciano said. He beamed as he spoke. "There's a snow sculpture contest, live music, some games, lots of good food, and so much more."

"Well, it does sound fun," Ludwig said. He looked up and saw a few banners for the festival. "Looks like a big thing in these parts."

"My RA Berwald said that it's a big tourist attraction," Feliciano explained as he also admired the banners. "At least for the town."

Looking around Ludwig saw a lot of people walking towards the center of town. It appeared that mostly families were going but there was also a lot of college student. Once they got close enough to the center of town, Feliciano lit up. He grabbed Ludwig's hand and started running. After a bit of shock, Ludwig couldn't help but smile with him. The center of town was bustling with people. Ludwig saw countless of stands, games, almost anything people think of when a fair came to mind.

"What do you want to do first?" Feliciano said after a while.

"Huh?" Ludwig said looking back at Feliciano. He was staring at him. With a cute little smile. "Uh, whatever you want to do."

"Oh come one," Feliciano frowned. "This is your first time here. You should decide what we do."

"Don't you want to meet up with your housemates?" Ludwig looked around slightly from them. He quickly let go of Feliciano's hand.

"I don't know where they are," Feliciano said quietly. He looked away. Ludwig looked down for a few moments before turning back towards him.

"How about we grab some hot chocolate, then see if they're by the ice sculptures," Ludwig suggested. He pointed towards an area where a lot of people were gathered. He could see some different shapes, though not very clearly. What exactly they were he couldn't tell. As he said that Feliciano looked up towards where the sculptures were.

The two walked over to the nearest hot chocolate stand. Ludwig held his hot chocolate in the hand next to Feliciano. Next, they walked towards the ice sculptures. This area of the event was currently the most crowded. The front of the crowd was almost entirely young children. Their family right behind them acting almost as excited as they were. Feliciano and Ludwig stood near the front. Careful not to block any children. As they looked at the sculptures, Feliciano started explaining the basics of sculpting. Mentioning stuff like form, shape, texture. As he spoke Ludwig could see Feliciano beam with excitement as he spoke.

"I thought you were an Illustration major," Ludwig said once Feliciano was finished.

"I'm a double major in Painting and Illustration," Feliciano took a sip of his hot chocolate. "What I was describing was the basics of art. They can easily be applied to sculptures. I've taken so many art classes at this point it's been drilled into my head."

"Well, I don't mean to disappoint you," Ludwig paused for a moment. "But I haven't taken an art class since middle school."

"Not even in high school?" Feliciano asked confused.

"It was optional at my school." Ludwig was still looking away and spoke quietly. "I was never really good at it and figured it was best to stop when I had the chance."

Feliciano stepped closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You know if you ever want to try it again, I could give you some tips."

"I appreciate it, Feliciano but that's never going to happen."

Feliciano smiled and stepped back a little. He pulled out his phone and checked it.

"My friends are grabbing lunch inside," Feliciano pointed to one of the nearby buildings. "If you want to meet them inside. It's sort of buffet style."

"Sure," Ludwig said.

The two walked towards the building. It was an older looking one and a few people were entering and leaving. There seemed to be more people getting food at the many food carts. There was also a decent crowd at a family restaurant. The two walked inside the building. This place had a decent crowd but there were a decent amount of empty seats. Felicano looked around for his friends but couldn't find them. The two found a bench inside and sat down.

"It's really hot in here," Feliciano said as he took off his jacket. He placed it on his lap and leaned back a bit.

"I agree it is," Ludwig looked over to Feliciano. "Though maybe it would have better if you weren't wearing a tank top."

"A tank top?" Feliciano asked confused. He looked down at his shirt and noticed that there was grey standing out from the blue shirt. "Oh, that's just my binder."

"Oh." Ludwig away for a moment. "Wait why are you wearing a binder?"

As Ludwig spoke, Feliciano froze. As the seconds pass his face went from confusion to realization to fear. Ludwig just sat there looking at him concerned. Wordlessly Feliciano stood up and started walking away. As he passed Ludwig he stopped in place and looked at him. Ludwig took it as a cue and started to follow him. Feliciano was quiet the entire time. Keeping up the pace and only looking ahead. A few times Ludwig tried to say something but stopped himself each time. After what seemed like forever, they were back at the house. Feliciano quickly opened the door and walked inside. When Ludwig made it inside Feliciano walked upstairs. Not sure of what to do Ludwig followed him. He looked around for a moment before seeing a solitary open door. Feliciano was sitting on a bed looking down.

"Feliciano are you okay?" Ludwig said as he walked inside. Feliciano looked up and it was clear he was holding back tears. Ludwig walked closer. He could see Feliciano was holding something and fuddling with it a bit. Quietly he handed it to him. Not even facing him. Looking at it Ludwig saw it was a picture of a teenage girl. she looked very similar to Feliciano, same hair and eye color.

"I didn't know you had a sister," Ludwig said confused.

"That's not my sister," Feliciano said quietly. Slowly he turned to Ludwig and looked up at him. Tears starting to fill his eyes. "That's me from three years ago. I'm transgender."


	20. Chapter 20

Feliciano sat frozen on his bed. Not taking his eyes off of Ludwig, who was staring at the photo. A couple of times he tried to say something. But nothing came out. Feliciano moved away from him a bit and looked down. He pulled his legs up on the bed and embraced them. His eyes never left him. the room was completely Each second went by slower and slower. At this point, Feliciano had no idea how they had been sitting there. It was like the whole was frozen except for those two.

"Please say something," Feliciano said turning towards Ludwig. He lifted his head a little. Tears filling his eyes. "Please."

* * *

Feliciano laid on his bed. Staring at the ceiling. He played with his hair, which felt too long for him. At this point, it was only a little past his shoulders but it still didn't feel right. He played around with different lengths. Sliding his fingers up and down. For some reason, the shorter looks felt more right to him. Sitting up he sighed. He reached for his phone. He caught a glimpse of himself on the phone screen. Once again the feeling of uneasiness went through him. Why could he not feel happy?

"What's wrong with me?" He thought to himself as leaned against his bed.

The next day Feliciano walked across his school's campus. As he walked he caught himself staring at the male uniforms. There weren't many differences between the two. The main ones being the male students wore pants instead of a skirt along with wearing ties. Still, he couldn't help but stare at them.

"Looking for someone?" Feliciano turned around to see a guy leaning against the wall.

"Jason," Feliciano smiled and started walking over. "When did you get there?"

"I just wanted to walk my girlfriend to her homeroom," Jason said wrapping his arm around Feliciano. He laughed a little. "So how's the most beautiful girl in the world feeling this morning?"

"I'm having one of my moods," he quietly looking at the floor as he spoke.

"Sweetheart like I've said before everything is fine."

"I know," Feliciano said bluntly. He stopped after that. "I'm sorry. It's just I don't why I've been feeling this way for a while. I have loving parents, a good relationship with my brothers, a caring boyfriend, and the best friends I could ask for. I feel like somethings off but I have no idea what."

"Do you worry Alicia," Jason kissed him on the head. Feliciano smiled but held back a grimace. Why was it that hearing his own made him feel uneasy. "Everything will be fine dear."

Shortly after Jason said that they reached Feliciano's homeroom. They held each other's hands before Feliciano walked in waving to him as he did. As the day went by Feliciano remained focused on his classes. Still, he couldn't get those feelings out of his mind. Not helping was the fact was it seemed like his teachers were dragging on their lessons more than usual. It started getting to the point where he wanted to scream. After what seemed like forever, the day was finally over. He ran up to his room and collapsed on his bed. He turned around and screamed into his pillow.

"What is wrong with me?" He asked himself. His voice breaking with every word. The tears building up in his eyes. He proceeded to straighten himself up and started to take deep breaths. Gently wiping the tears away from his eyes. He walked over to his closet and pulled out some clothes. He chose a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Like most things about his life, he didn't have an idea why he felt the most comfortable in these but they did.

"At least I feel a little better."

As the day went one Feliciano stayed to himself. He focused on doing his homework. Remaining quiet. When his homework was done he pulled his journal from under his pillow. He lifted the lamp from the nightstand and grabbed the key to unlock it. Looking over the older entries, almost all of the more recent ones mentioned the feelings of confusion that plagued his mind. And today's would not have the answer.

"Alicia dear are you alright?" Feliciano's mom asked as they were eating dinner. "You've barely touched your food."

"I'm just nervous about, a test on Friday," he responded quickly and quietly.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll do fine," his mother dismissed any concerns.

"Well good for you trying to keep your grades up well despite wanting to do art," his father said not looking up from his dinner.

Feliciano looked back down at his plate. He slowly started eating his dinner. Barely looking up from his plate. When everyone was done, Feliciano and his mother cleared the table. Meanwhile, his father sat in his chair while Marcello went upstairs to play video games. Feliciano didn't complain, there was no point to it.

As Feliciano cleared the table, a word on the television stood out to him. It was only there for a second, as his dad changed the channel. But it just long enough for him to see. Transgender.

"That seems familiar," he thought to himself as he walked into the kitchen. He gently placed the plates down on the counter. "I wonder what that means?"

He looked up to his mom, who was currently placing leftover food in Tupperware containers. He almost asked her but stopped himself. He focused on washing the dishes in the sink. He felt like this was something he'd need to figure out on his own.

When everything was all set downstairs, Feliciano returned upstairs. He opened up his laptop. Carefully he entered the incognito mode. Just to be safe. Slowly he typed in transgender.

"A person who identifies as a different gender than their birth gender," Feliciano read aloud, super quietly. "Could this be it? Could I be a male? I should look into this."

Scrolling down Feliciano read over the signs of being transgender. As he read over them, it was like more pieces of the puzzle came together. How even as a child, he preferred wearing pants over skirts. He pictured himself in his school's male uniform. Even just the thought of wearing it made him feel happier. Looking at his hair, he realized that's why it always felt too long. The sweatshirt he was wearing hid his boobs giving a more masculine appearance. The list even explained why he didn't like his name. It was too feminine sounding.

"This is it!" Feliciano quietly cheered to himself. Tears of joy falling down his face. "I finally found it!"

* * *

"You've been happy these past few days," Jason said as the two of them walked across the park. His arm wrapped around his shoulder.

"I finally feel happy," Feliciano sighed and leaned his head on Jason's shoulder.

"See I told you it was just a phase." Jason kissed him on the forehead.

Feliciano smiled. He was about to say something when he noticed the large crowd of people around them. He remained quiet and just rested his head on Jason's shoulder.

"I have to tell him about me beings trans at some point." He thought to himself, looking away from him. "But is it too soon? Should I do some more tests to be sure? I'm ninety-nine percent sure I'm trans. It feels right. And all these people are around. Now is not a good time."

After a little while, the two headed back to Feliciano's home. They held hands the entire time Jason drove Feliciano home. When they made it back, Jason walked Feliciano back to the door. They kissed each other before Jason walked to his car. Feliciano smiled widely and waved to him. Sighing a little, Feliciano walked into his house. He could hear his parents talking to each other in the living room. He said hello to them as he started heading up to his room.

"Alicia come in here," his father said from the living room.

"Is something wrong?" Feliciano asked as he walked into the room.

"What is this about?" his mother pushed a book close to him. It only took one quick look for Feliciano to realize what it is.

"You read my journal!" Feliciano yelled. Looking between the book and his parents.

"You hid from us."

"I was hiding it from my brothers!" Feliciano gestured upstairs.

"We were concerned about you." Feliciano's parents looked at each other and nodded. "We had to do it. We were worried about you."

"And we are your parents, thus we have the right to." His father added. Feliciano went to say something but his father held up his hand. Effectively forcing Feliciano to stop trying and simply look down.

"Now back to this" His mother gestured to the still opened journal. "What is this about you being transgender?"

"I dunno it feels right. I don't feel like a girl. It's hard to explain but being a boy feels right."

"It's unnatural!" His father yelled. Getting up from his chair a little. Feliciano stepped back a little. "You're given a birth gender and that's that. You can't change it"

"It's a phase." His mother turned to his father who sat down. She proceeded to turn to Feliciano. "This is a phase. You may think, you are boy Alicia but after some time you'll realize your not."

"But I-"

"No, buts Alicia." His mother stood and walked over. She held out her hand "Now hand over your phone. You've lost that for two weeks and computer privilege for the rest of the weekend."

Reluctantly Feliciano took his phone out of his bag and give it to his mother. She held it tightly. Feliciano didn't look up at his mother.

"Now go to your room." Feliciano turned around and started heading upstairs. "Maybe some time alone to think will get those evil thoughts out of your head."

That Monday Feliciano walked across campus with his head down. Keeping away from any students he could. Still holding back that had started forming days ago. He kept his arms around himself. Like some form of a distorted, lonely hug.

"Alicia." Feliciano looked up and saw Jason standing in front of him.

"Hi Jason," Feliciano said quietly.

"What is this about you claiming you're actually a boy?"

"Who told you?" Feliciano said quietly. Jason held up his phone and showed a text from his mother explaining the events from a few days. "Listen Jason I'm sorry I didn't say anything it's personal."

"So you think you're a boy?"

"It's not a matter of if I think. It's hard to explain but."

"Alicia I love you. Or at least thought I did. But I can't go around dating some freak who think they're something they're."

"Huh?" Feliciano said so quiet he wasn't sure anyone could hear him.

"If you get some sense back in you, then come talk to me."

Jason turned around and walked away without a word. Feliciano remained frozen in place. Slowly reaching out for him. Wanting to run after him and bring things back to normal. But then he would be lying to himself. Something he just couldn't do.

* * *

"Ludwig please say something," Feliciano pleaded again. Tear pouring from his eyes. "Just something. Anything. Please."

Ludwig remained silent. He was frozen in place. His eyes locked on the old picture. Feliciano started to move closer but stopped. Instead, he stopped. He moved away. On the other side of the bed. Keeping his eyes on Ludwig for a brief moment before looking down.

"If you're gonna leave just go." He finally said after a few minutes. "Don't even say anything just do. I'll get over it. I'm used to it."

"No!" Ludwig said suddenly. Moving closer to Feliciano. Feliciano turned around, still crying. "I'm not leaving. I don't care that you were born a girl. You always have and always will be a guy to me. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but I couldn't find the rights words. It's a hard thing to talk about. I didn't want to hurt you and."

Ludwig stopped. He felt Feliciano collide into him. Tightly he embraced him. Slowly and gently Ludwig placed his hand on Feliciano's back.

"Are you okay?" Ludwig quietly, after a few seconds.

"Sorry," Feliciano said letting go of Ludwig and wiping his eyes. "It's just I hardly ever hear that. Most people just leave. It's nice to hear someone won't."

"Don't worry about it. And before you ask I promise this will change nothing between us. Ever."


	21. Chapter 21

"You're kidding someone actually said that?" Feliciano asked. "I'm not even studying law and I know that's false."

"I'm serious," Ludwig replied. He moved his phone a further back on his desk. Looking between the reading on his laptop and cellphone.

"But not knowing states need to approve the amendments. He had to be joking." Feliciano was laughing in between words.

"I have no idea. But the professor's face was a mix of that and you need to change your major."

Feliciano started laughing harder. After a few seconds, Ludwig couldn't help but laugh alongside him. There was something about Feliciano, that Ludwig couldn't really place, that made Feliciano's happiness so contagious. Even when they were talking over the phone Ludwig could tell Feliciano when he was smiling. He didn't know how but he did.

"Okay now, what's the stupidest thing you heard in a college class?" Ludwig asked once Feliciano calmed down a little.

"Hmm this is a tough one," he said.

"Take your time," Ludwig said. He looked back at his reading and started writing a few notes.

"Oh, I got one," Feliciano said after a few minutes. Ludwig stopped writing and looked back at his phone. "In one of my anatomy classes, someone asked if we needed to draw the bone structure in our final!"

"I don't get it," Ludwig said awkwardly. "Doesn't anatomy involve the study of the human body?"

"That's the as my professor likes to say "sciencey way"." Ludwig remained silent still confused. "Our anatomy class was all about drawing the body not about how it works. Odd how they have the same name."

"It might be because both involve studying the body in some way. People had to draw the body to study it."

"You're probably right," Feliciano responded.

The two were silent for a few moments. Ludwig tried to focus back on his reading but to no avail. He closed his laptop and leaned back in his chair. There was no way to tell what Feliciano was doing. The so thing he could tell was Feliciano was not moving at all.

"So what are you up to?" Ludwig asked after a few minutes.

"Lying wrapped up in a blanket because of gender dysmorphia," Feliciano sighed a little.

"Are, are you okay?" Ludwig asked very cautiously.

"Yeah," Feliciano still answered quietly. "It's normal for me. I'm used to it."

Ludwig remained quiet. He thought of a few different things to say. But none of them seemed right. What Feliciano was experiencing was something Ludwig wouldn't/couldn't. Would the words that could give Feliciano any form of comfort even exist? Would they even mean anything coming from him? Someone who was not in the same situation. Someone who could never fully understand.

"Hey, you want to see this cool binder I found?" Feliciano asked excitedly after a few minutes.

"Like one for school?"

"No a chest one."

"Uh, sure," Ludwig said still a bit confused. A moment later he saw a message appear on his phone. Quickly he tapped it and saw an image. It was of a mannequin wearing only a chest binder. It was very colorful, unlike the grey one Feliciano owned. It looked like it was in someone's bedroom or studio. So he couldn't tell if this was something that someone made or bought and was showing off. Zooming in on the picture he could tell there was some sort of pattern on it. But he couldn't tell what exactly it was.

"It's interesting," he said after looking at for a bit.

"Can you tell what it looks like?"

Ludwig stared at it some more. "Uh, some sort of painting."

"It's Starry Night by Vincent Van Gough," Feliciano responded.

"Oh," Ludwig said rather quietly. "Guess I know less about art than I thought."

"It's alright," Feliciano said, thought Ludwig could detect a twinge of annoyance in his voice. "Anyway, I got to go now. Talk to you later!"

"Talk to you later."

Feliciano hung up and Ludwig looked down. He placed his hands on his forehead and sighed. He felt like a fool right now. But he didn't know why he felt this way. Sure there wasn't much he could really do about knowing art. But it just felt off and very embarrassing. He couldn't think of why. This wasn't the first time that Feliciano was brought up something art-related that Ludwig didn't understand but this was the first time he felt this way about. Surely Feliciano wasn't getting annoyed by his constant misunderstanding of art terms and works. It was just there was so intriguing when Feliciano was talking about art. His voice full of enthusiasm and passion, it was almost contagious. Despite him always making a fool of himself.

Those thoughts remained in Ludwig's mind. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself they never ceased to escape him. Reading, working, and even just listening to music. Nothing worked at all. And he had no idea why.

* * *

Ludwig found himself in a park. It was very peaceful and serene. He was sitting in the middle of it, just surrounded by nature. He could feel his worries melt away. It was like there were no cares in the world. It was perfect.

"I knew I'd find you here." Ludwig looked up and saw Feliciano standing there. He was wearing the same outfit that he wore the first day they met. The wind blowing by him. Moving his hair in the just right way. The sun shone above him giving him a subtle glow.

Ludwig remained silent as Feliciano reached out his hand. The glow around him grew stronger. Ludwig was frozen in place. Staring at Feliciano in all his glory. After a while, Feliciano laughed and pulled Ludwig up to his feet. He gently placed his hand on Ludwig's cheeks and started playing with his hair. Ludwig went to say something but soon found himself jolting awake. In his dorm room.

Looking around Ludwig saw he was indeed in his dorm. It was still dark outside and Alfred was dead asleep. Slowly he picked up his phone and turned it on. Blinded by the light for a split second. There he saw that it was a little after 3 AM. He sighed and collapsed back in his bed.

"I dreamt of Feliciano," he thought to himself as he laid wide awake on his bed. He rolled over on his side. "It's probably nothing."

As the day went on the memories of his dream faded. By his first class of the day, all of them were gone except for one. The image of Feliciano standing under the glowing light with the wind blowing through his hair. It seemed with each moment the light around him became brighter. Trying to think about the image made it worse. It was getting to the point where he wanted to scream but held it back.

After his last class was done, Ludwig sat at his desk and pulled out his notes. Looking over them the ones from earlier in the day were organized and very detailed. Exactly as he always had done. However, the later ones were not like that. Sure they were decently organized but the content was much simpler than his normal ones were. It made no sense to him.

"Today is a very weird day," Ludwig thought to himself. He remained quiet for a few seconds. "Could it have something to do with the dream?"

Ludwig pulled out his computer and open it up. Slowly he turned to face Alfred who was to focus on YouTube videos to care about what he doing. Still, to be safe Ludwig pulled up a PDF for class before looking up dream symbols. Despite looking at a multitude of sources his search was futile. He then switched it to dreaming about people. All the sources seemed to say the same thing people in dreams symbolized something. After looking at a source he froze. There was one word. One word that stood out among the rest. Crush.

"No," Ludwig said under breath. "I can't be falling for him."


	22. Chapter 22

Felciano walked to campus, looking around at the scenery. Looking for new drawing subjects. He was currently walking with Mei and Kiku. The two of them were conversing with each other as usual. Normally Feliciano would occasionally join them but his attention was elsewhere. As he walked he would periodically glace his phone. hoping for a text or something from Ludwig. Ever since their phone call three days ago, Felciano hadn't heard anything from him. A couple of times he tried to contact him but stopped himself each time.

"Feliciano, are you alright?" Feliciano turned to see Kiku and Mei staring at him.

"Yeah," Feliciano said quietly.

"Well it's just you've been staring at your phone for a while," Kiku said sounding concerned. "Are you sure everything is alright?"

"Yeah, it's nothing." Feliciano put his phone away reluctantly. Even with it gone, his mind was constantly thinking of Ludwig. Hoping nothing had happened to him.

When they made it to campus the three of them went their separate ways. Both Kiku and Mei heading to their sculpting class while Feliciano went to the painting building. He walked up to the third floor. It was the most lit floor in the whole building. Probably in the entire campus, this made it perfect for painting. Feliciano walked over to the dry racks and pulled out his current campus. On it was a halfway done bowl of fruit. Still-lifes weren't Felicianos favorite subject to paint but this was a required class for his painting major. So, this was just something he'd have to deal with for now.

In the center of the room, the professor was setting up the fruit bowl as close as she could to the last class. Feliciano held up his canvas to find the angle he painted at. Know sitting in the wrong spot could messing up the whole thing. Once he found the right spot he placed his campus down on the easel. Next, we walked over to the supplies closet and grabbed some paint. He also grabbed a cup and filled it with water. Placing all of them up on the easel, he turned towards his bag and pulled out a pallet and a series of brushes. After doing a quick brush check, he started to work.

There was something about painting that Feliciano found calming. From mixing the colors to actually painting the picture itself, it all so peaceful. As he painted he started seeing the picture come to life. He was careful to keep the colors from mixing. If they did he would use one of his smaller brushes to mix the colors around it a little. Then it didn't look like a mistake. Occasionally he would take a little break. Either to let the paint dry a little or just to stretch. Of course, it wasn't a long one but it always felt great too.

When class was done, Feliciano made his way to the dining hall. He grabbed himself a wrap. He still had an hour and a half before his next class so he had some time. He pulled out his phone. Before he knew it had opened his messenger app. He stared at it for a moment. It was still lacking any new messages from Ludwig but Feliciano couldn't help but stare at it. After a few moments, he forced himself to close the app.

"It's okay," he thought to himself taking a bite of his wrap. "Ludwig and I have gone longer without communicating with each other. He's just busy."

For his second class, Feliciano put all of his effort into his art. For the most part, it worked. Though occasionally his mind would go to Ludwig. When it did he kept picturing Ludwig either hurt or upset. Feliciano would take a quick deep breath before going back to work.

After he was done with classes, Feliciano went back to his dorm. When he got there he found it empty. He shrugged it off. Unlike what he would normally do, he pulled out his laptop. He opened up a private savings account. It was with a local credit unit near the school, unlike the one his parents knew about which is with a bigger bank. He made sure to make a majority of his purchases from the account his parents knew about. It was hard to prove but Feliciano was sure that his parents checked the account often. He often used the other account to buy the clothes he wanted and anything else related to his transition. If his parents ever found about this account they'd flip out.

Looking at the account he saw he had a decent amount of funds in it. He then looked at his schedule and saw he didn't have many projects due in the upcoming weeks. He proceeded to turn on his phone and opened up his art based Instagram. It was a place where he could share his original artworks as much as he desired. Sure he wasn't the most popular artist on the site but he had been getting a decent following in recent years. He opened up the new post button and pressed on a few familiar pictures. The first one read in bold black letters, _Commissions Opened!_ He went through the whole details about how to contact him for one. When it was all done he posted it.

Doing commissions was actually very rewarding for Feliciano. Sure it was a lot of extra work, but it didn't matter to him. It proved to him that he was able to make money doing art. Proth he was on the right career path.

"Hey Feli," Mei said walking into the room. She placed her bag on her desk and climbed on her bed. "How were your classes?"

"They were good," Feliciano said with an upsetting tone.

"Are you okay?" Mei asked softly.

"I don't know." Feliciano closed his laptop and stared at his phone. "It's just Ludwig and I had a phone call a few days ago. I haven't heard from him since then."

"It's probably nothing." Mei shrugged a little and smiled.

"I think so but it hasn't left my mind all day." Feliciano looked out the window. "I'm worried about him."

"I see." Mei remained quiet for a moment. "How long have you been worried."

"It started this morning," Feliciano began. He was fiddling with his phone as he spoke. "It's weird. We've gone more than three days than talking before. I don't know what is making this time so different. I mean he sounded a little off near the end. I had shown him that cool chest binder I showed you guys the other day. Remember the one that looks like _A Starry Night_? He was talking quietly when I did. I know art isn't really his thing but. Wait."

"What is it?" Mei leaned in a little closer.

"I embarrassed him." Feliciano collapsed back on his bed, covering his face. His face began to quickly heat up. "That's why he's avoiding me!"

"I doubt that," Mei said though she did laugh a little. "If Ludwig is really your friend him being a bit embarrassed won't ruin everything."

"But Ludwig is different. I can't describe it but there's something about him. I don't feel this way about anyone. we only met a few months ago but I feel closer to him than I do to other people. Like how I can just be me. And I don't have to worry about him ever leaving."

"Hmm," Mei appeared to think about it for a moment. "You sure you never felt like this about anyone before?"

"Now that you mention it." Feliciano thought about it for a moment. "I feel similarly to."

Feliciano stopped for a moment. He sat frozen in place for a few good minutes.

"Are you okay?" Mei got off her bed and walked closer to him.

"The only other person I felt like this with is Jason," Feliciano said in a state of shock. "Mei I think I have feelings for Ludwig."


	23. Chapter 23

"Are you serious? You like him?" Mei asked leaning on the bed. Slowly Feliciano nodded. "This is incredible!"

"Shhhhh!" Feliciano leaned close to Mei. "I don't want everyone knowing."

"Oh come on!" Mei complained collapsing on the bad. She slid down off it immediately after.

"I'm serious Mei," Feliciano said jumping off the bed. "I don't really want anyone knowing. For now."

"But why not?" Mei asked now lying on the floor. Feliciano joined her.

"Remember when you were worried about Kiku finding that you liked him before you were ready to tell him?" Mei nodded. "Well, I'm feeling the same way about Ludwig."

"Isn't this different?" Mei asked. She sat up and dusted off her jeans. "Ludwig doesn't even go to our school."

"I'm nervous." Feliciano sat up and hugged his knees. "I know he accepts me as trans but would he date me?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

"I dunno I'm probably not his type. He'd be interested in someone who's serious like him. Someone he can long discussions about politics or history. Stuff like that. Someone, he can work out with. Not some goofball like me who prefers having fun over doing work."

"That may not be true. You know what they say opposites attract."

"I hope you're right Mei," Feliciano sighed. "I hope your right."

* * *

"Hey, Ludwig you okay?" Alfred asked. As Emm and Arthur looked on concerned.

"I'm fine," Ludwig replied though clearly sounding annoyed.

"Well, it's just you've been picking at your food for like." Alfred looked at his cellphone. "Twenty minutes. It's very unlike you."

"Everything's fine," Ludwig told them and quickly took a bite of food. Though truth be told, he hadn't been feeling like himself for the past few days. Ever since that dream of Feliciano, Ludwig's mind was acting off. He couldn't more than five minutes without thinking of him. And the thought of actually having feelings for Feliciano made his stomach twist up in knots.

"I can't like him," Ludwig thought to himself as he continued eating. "At least not like that."

Once back in the dorm, Ludwig stared at his computer. Trying to look like he was reading something on it. Occasionally glancing at Alfred who, as always, had his attention focused out elsewhere. Ludwig sighed and leaned back. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't focus for the past few days.

"Am I really doing this?" Ludwig said as he started moving his cursor up to the search bar. Slowly he typed the word, _how to tell if you have a crush._

* * *

"I'm just saying there's no hurt in just texting him," Tezera said as the group of them sat in the living room.

"He's probably too busy," Feliciano said still staring at his phone.

"Aww someone's worried about their boyfriend," Victoria teased, and everyone laughed. With the exception of Mei who sitting next to Tezera with a look of pure terror on her face.

"Ludwig is not my boyfriend!" Feliciano yelled standing up a little. He sat back downed and huffed a little.

"Oh come on Feli we're just teasing." Victoria nudged him a little. Feliciano still sat there with his arms crossed.

"Maybe we stop guys," Mei said with a very nervous laugh. Feliciano glared at her. "He clearly doesn't like it."

"Come on Mei we teased you all the time. Even Feliciano participated a little."

"Yeah but Feliciano has a really different situation than us. Because you know."

"I don't see how him being trans affects his dating."

"I was dumped because I was trans," Feliciano said firmly. He stood up and gather his thing from the table. Quickly he walked upstairs. Holding back his tears as he did. When finally got back to his room, he started letting it all out. The tears started streaming down his face. He reached over to his nightstand. He pulled out the old picture of himself. The one of himself before his transition began. As he cried he just stared at it.

"Why must life have been so hard on us?" Feliciano asked still staring at it. He remembered was he a little kid. How he would dream about his future, how he would be doing his dream job and be surrounded by people who loved him. How it was so different than he hoped. After staring at the picture he embraced it tightly. "Hopefully someday things will get better."

* * *

"Why do most of these apply to me?" Ludwig said as continued scrolling through different websites. He sighed seeing more symptoms of having a crush.

"There's one." Ludwig thought and nodded to himself. "I wouldn't say I get giddy around him. At least I think I don't."

Starting to think back to the last times the two communicated with each other. He remembered getting slightly excited whenever Feliciano would unexpectedly text him. how nervous he would feel when Feliciano didn't respond for a while. And the burst of relief mixed with happiness he felt when he did respond. He proceeded to think about when they saw each other in person. How excited Ludwig felt seeing Feliciano stand outside. How he couldn't help but smile as Feliciano was jumped up and down and waved at him from his house porch. And how he felt rather upset when it was time to leave.

"Dang it," Ludwig whispered to himself. He leaned back in his chair. "There's got to be something."

Ludwig continued to look at the different ways to tell that you have a crush. With everything, he could find Ludwig was able to think of experiencing himself within the past few months. There was so much he could think of, that him not having a crush on Feliciano would be the one harder to believe. He sighed and closed his laptop. He pulled out his phone and looked at the messages between him and Feliciano. Sure there were a few awkward moments between them here and there but there were so many more that put a smile to his face. From Feliciano's regular use of emoji's to him always knowing the right thing to say.

Once he was done looking over the messages, Ludwig started thinking about what would happen if he started dating Feliciano. He thought of them going on dates. Classic ones like a picnic or to the movies. Even an art museum. He could picture Feliciano getting all excited showing Ludwig different art pieces and explaining. Sure he wouldn't understand what he was saying but just seeing Feliciano happy made him happy. In fact, all these thoughts of being with Feliciano made him feel happy. Happier than he really ever felt before.

"Maybe this isn't such a bad thing," Ludwig thought to himself with a smile.


	24. Chapter 24

"Okay Ludwig, so you have a crush now," Ludwig said to himself. "And this isn't a bad thing."

Ludwig smiled. Something about admitting that he had one made him feel much happier. Even still he felt a bit of unease. A few questions running through his head. Like, does/would Feliciano like him back? When would be the right moment to tell him? How would he even tell him? It had to be at the right moment and the right time. Most important, he had to be sure Feliciano liked him back. The awkwardness of the situation if Feliciano said not. But for the moment it was going to be hard to figure out. Without thinking he started to reach for his phone.

"What am I doing? I can't tell him over a text!" Ludwig slapped himself on the forehead. He looked down and saw the last time they texted each other. "But I can't just ignore him."

* * *

Feliciano remained lying on his bed. Holding back any and all tears. He wrapped the blanket across him tighter and curled more under it. After a few seconds, he heard his phone buzz. He wrapped himself tighter and growled a little. He let it buzz. But as he let it sit he started to feel uneasy. There was something that was telling him to look at it. Slowly he reached for it. Turning it on he let out a small gasp. There was a text. From Ludwig.

_Hi Feliciano, just want to see how you were doing._

Feliciano's heart skipped a beat. His breathing sped up a little and his face heated up. He stared at the message for longer than he should. He looked away for a second before replying.

_Hi Ludwig I'm doing well._

Feliciano looked away. He felt bad for lying to Ludwig but he didn't want to tell Ludwig all of his problems. Especially personal ones.

_That's good to hear these past few days have been stressful for me_

Feliciano couldn't help but laugh. He didn't know why but it happened. He curled up under his blanket some more. But this time he is smiling. Not caring about anything else in the world.

* * *

"You know we could hang out around your campus sometime," Feliciano said as he and Ludwig walked around the town square.

"There's not that much around," Ludwig admitted rubbing the back of his head. He could feel his face heat up a bit.

"I do have to admit the atmosphere of the place is what inspired me to chose here," Feliciano turned his head around and mumbled the next part. "And the fact this one of the farthest placed my parents would let me go."

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing," Felicano turned to face Ludwig and flashed him a smile.

Ludwig didn't say anything. He turned to face forward. He took this moment to admire the town a little more. This time there were fewer people walking around. Leaving more room to admire the scenery. It had this cozy small-town feel to it, despite not all being like a small town. There were a lot of small and family-owned businesses. Unlike in his own small town that had like seven different pizza places and a bunch of corporate-owned coffee shops. Whenever his parents walked to take him and Gilbert out for dinner they had to drive at least twenty minutes to get to a good place.

"Want to get a coffee or something?" Feliciano asked after a few minutes. He gestured to a small cafe nearby.

"Sure," he said after about a minute.

The two walked into the shop together. For some reason, Ludwig kept a slight distance from Feliciano. The two ordered separately but decided to sit at one of the small tables in it. Ludwig got his normal drink of a medium coffee with some cream in it. While Feliciano got a cappuccino.

"I love being a rebel," he said with a laugh.

"A lot of people drink cappuccinos Feliciano," Ludwig said confused as he took a sip of his coffee. "I don't think that makes you a rebel."

"Oh, I said that out loud," Feliciano sulked in his seat a little and Ludwig noticed he was blushing. "It's a small inside joke between me and my friends. My parents are pure Italian and they love espresso drinks but refuse to drink them especially cappuccinos after 11 am. This rule also applied to me and brothers. If we tried to order those drinks they'd yell at us. So now that I'm in college I occasionally get one as a small rebellion."

"A strange form of rebelling but alright."

Feliciano smiled and took another sip of it. The two of them spent about half an hour in the small cafe. Just chatting with each other and occasionally laughing. Their conversation was mostly about classes. Sometimes one of them would start venting for a few minutes while the others just listened. When they were done they left the cafe. As they started walking again Ludwig felt his hand slowly move towards to Feliciano's. He quickly grabbed it hand. After a few more minutes of walking, Feliciano gasped and walked towards a rather large fountain.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Feliciano asked staring at it. His eyes lighting up.

Ludwig looked at the fountain. It was pure white and made of stone. Ludwig couldn't tell which kind. There small statues of mermaids and fish. Ludwig assumed when the weather was warmer the water would be running through it.

"It is rather nice."

Feliciano sighed and sit on the edge of the fountain. Careful not to fall in. Ludwig sat down next to him. Once again he noticed his hand moving towards Feliciano's. He quickly moved it away. Feliciano didn't seem to notice. He was sitting there. Kicking his legs a little. Completely listening to the sounds around him.

"You really like this fountain don't you," Ludwig said awkwardly.

"Yeah, it's a personal thing," Feliciano looked down but was still smiling. Ludwig decided not to press any further.

After sitting there for a few minutes, Feliciano stood up. He dusted himself off a bit. Ludwig followed suit. They walked around for a bit more. A few minutes later a cold breeze blew by. Feliciano shivered a little. Ludwig started to reach for his jacket.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah just a little cold," Feliciano said adjusting his scarf a little.

"Do you want to go back to your place to warm up?"

"It's alright."

"You sure. I don't mind. It would nice to warm up a little."

Slowly Feliciano nodded a little. The two started towards his house. Feliciano started to speed up a little. Getting ahead of Ludwig for a few moments. Ludwig could see Feliciano hug himself trying to warm up. After a bit, Ludwig started to rub his hands together. When they got to the house Feliciano gave a sigh of relief.

"Hey guys I'm back," Feliciano said as he walked in. "Ludwig's here, we'll be in my room."

"Hello," Ludwig said as he walked in. Feliciano gestured to the coat rack where he hung it up. The two then started to walk upstairs.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," one of Feliciano's roommates yelled as they did.

"Ignore them," Feliciano said sounding very annoyed.

Ludwig shrugged it off and went to Feliciano's room. Feliciano pulled out the chairs from the two desks in the room and sat in one. Ludwig took it as a cue to sit in the other one. He sat down and the two remained silent for a moment.

"So want do you want to do?" Feliciano asked after a few moments.

"I dunno," Ludwig said. Looking at Feliciano who sitting there with his hands together and moving his feet a little. He just looked so cute like that.

"You okay?" Feliciano asked tilting his head a little.

"Of course," Ludwig said quickly and straightened himself up. "Why'd you ask?"

"You were staring at my desk." Feliciano gestured to it.

"Oh, I was wondering," Ludwig remained quiet for a second, though it felt like longer. "of what we should do."

"What to watch a movie?" Feliciano asked. "I have a few different streaming services on my computer."

"Sure that sounds good."

Feliciano smiled and pulled out his laptop. He placed it on his desk and started to unlock it. Ludwig moved his chair closer. Remaining a little bit away from it. Feliciano opened his streaming services up and let Ludwig look through them. We got up for a few minutes and came back with a bag of popcorn. He opened it and after a bit of debate, they decided on one. Then they relaxed and enjoyed the movie. Both being happy to be with each other.


	25. Chapter 25

"So do you have any fun plans for Spring Break?" Feliciano asked Ludwig as he started packing his stuff. He adjusted his phone a little.

"Nothing really," Ludwig replied. "I'll probably visit my brother but that's about it. What about you?"

"I'm going home for a week. Which means a week of dealing with my parents and being misgendered." Feliciano sighed and looked at the clothes he was packing. Sure there were plenty of clothes that he preferred to wear. However, some were more feminine looking.

"Are you going to be alright?" Ludwig asked sounding very nervous.

"Yeah, I'm used to it." Feliciano looked down at the ground for a moment. "Unfortunately." 

"Listen you need someone to talk to or just to vent," Ludwig said very assuredly. "Just give me a call. Okay?"

"Okay," Feliciano said with a smile. "I will."

* * *

"Hey Feliciano I think your parents are here," Toylis said looking out the window.

"What already?" Feliciano said sitting up. He looked over at the clock. "I thought I had at least another hour."

Toylis shrugged as Feliciano jumped up. Before Feliciano could do anything the door opened. He stood frozen in place. His parents stood in the doorway.

"Alicia, what on earth are you wearing?" his mother asked before Feliciano could say anything. His face fell,

"Uh, my clothes," Feliciano said trying to his feeling of annoyance. Toylis meanwhile, slowly, awkwardly walked into the kitchen.

"You go out in that? Honey, it makes you look like a man."

"That's the point," Feliciano thought to himself before saying with gritted teeth. "I wear it because it's comfortable."

"How many times do we have to go over this," his mother sighed walking up to him. "You can dress as comfortably as you. But you have to make sure you look like a girl while doing it. Am I correct?"

"Yes Mom," Feliciano said quietly.

"What was that?" his mom said cupping a hand around her ear.

"Yes, Mom," Feliciano replied louder and angrier. His mother took a step back and placed a hand on her chest.

"Young lady that is no way to talk to your mother," his father said walking up to them. "Apologize right now."

"I'm sorry Mom," Feliciano said quietly Hoping he didn't sound annoyed.

Seeming satisfied his with his parents started walking upstairs. Feliciano remained a few feet behind them. As they walked upstairs, Feliciano heard his mom complain about how art school was corrupting their daughter. Or some other similar crap like that. Feliciano tried to ignore them. But was forced to hold back anything he wanted to say. In his room, his mom was quick to judge Mei's pride flags. Feliciano grabbed all the stuff he could with his parents grabbing the rest. They were quick to walk out of the room but Feliciano had to stop. For a second he stood in the doorway and stared at it.

"See you in a week," Feliciano said quietly before closing the door.

Feliciano started to walk out of the house as slowly as he could without looking odd. He quickly placed his stuff in the back of his father's car. With the reception of his drawing supplies, which he kept near him. He also kept his headphones in one of his pockets. Just in case.

"I hope this attitude of yours isn't going to be present all week Alicia," his mother said as she started to file her nails.

"It wouldn't be if you would actually call me by the name I want to call by," Feliciano thought to himself. Trying not to sulk in his seat.

"I knew we shouldn't have let her live at school," his mother whispered to his father. Feliciano couldn't tell if she meant for him to hear or not.

"Darling she has to learn to care for herself," his father retorted. And for once Feliciano agreed.

The rest of the car ride was rather silent. The only sound being the Christian music that they had on the radio. Feliciano would occasionally reach for his headphones but stopped himself each time. He remained sitting up straight. Not leaning on anything. Looking down he saw his art supplies. They were staring up at him. Calling to him. Tempting him to pull them out. He looked away and out the window instead. Hoping that this ride would be over soon.

* * *

"Hey, little bro wasn't excepting to see you here," Gilbert after he opened the door to his apartment. Ludwig stood there with the best smile he could. "What brings you here?"

"Can't I just visit my brother?" Ludwig said trying to sound as normal as he could.

"I mean I am awesome." Gilburt rubbed his knuckled against his chest. Ludwig just gave him a blank stare.

"So are we just going to stand here or..." Ludwig said after a while.

"Oh right," Gilbert stepped aside to let Ludwig in. The apartment hadn't changed much since Ludwig has last been here. Just some slight furniture rearrangements and none of the big stuff had moved. Gilbert plopped himself back on the couch and turned off the TV. After hanging up his jacket Ludwig joined him.

"So what's up?" Gilbert asked leaning on one of the arms of the couch.

"Nothing really," Ludwig said quickly. Gilbert gave him an 'are you serious' look. "Well, there may be one thing on my mind."

"Well you've come to the right place," Gilbert said with a confident smile. He patted Ludwig on the shoulder. "Now tell your big brother what's bugging you."

"Well, it's just," Ludwig said removing Gilbert's hand from him. "I think I may have a crush on a guy."

"No way!" Gilbert said with excitement. "Who is it? Wait don't tell me, it's your roommate's brother! The one you said really likes pancakes."

"Matthew? No."

"Oh," Gilbert's face fell a little. "Is it your British friend with the thick eyes brows, Arthur I think his name is?"

"No, it's someone completely different." Ludwig paused and looked a deep breath in. "His name is Feliciano."

"That name does not ring a bell what so ever."

"I've never really talked about him before." Gilbert leaned back a little and raised an eyebrow. A sly smile painted on his face. "We met last semester. He attends an art school that's about fifteen minutes from campus. My friend Emma is dating someone from there. And the two of them happen to be suitemates."

"Interesting," Gilbert said nodding his head a little. "So what's this Feliciano like?"

"I mean he's a nice guy." Ludwig shrugged a little.

"Oh come on," Gilbert complained leaning back a little. He placed his hands on his face and slid them down. "That was literally the most basic thing you could say about someone. What specifically about him do you like?"

"I dunno. I guess his positive attitude. He's gone through some crap in his life yet still greets every day with a smile. And it's contagious. Mainly his smile. There's just something about it that makes it so perfect. I can't but smile with him. He just lights any room he's in. It's so beautiful." Ludwig collapsed his head into his hands. "What is wrong with me?"

"Awww little Ludwig's in love!" Gilbert teased. Ludwig didn't respond to him. "Oh come on it's not so bad. You have like a guy that's all."

"No, it's more like why him of all people?"

"Is he dating someone else?"

"No."

"Oh is he not gay?"

"Yes, well no he's bisexual."

"Then I don't see the problem," Gilbert said confused.

"We're so different from each other. He's fun-loving, free-spirited, calm. Meanwhile, I'm over here serious, up-tight. Even if he did somehow feel the same way about me, we wouldn't work out. We're too different."

"Hey, you won't know if you try. It took me forever to ask Lizzie out."

"Really?" Ludwig asked in shock.

"I know. I know. Your super awesome older brother isn't as perfect as you thought. We all have our weaknesses. But it's true. It took me so long to ask her out. Mainly because I thought she didn't like me back. But eventually, I got up the courage to do so and so far it's worked out. And I'm sure the same thing will happen to you."

"Thanks, Gilbert I needed to hear that."

* * *

"Alicia, we really need to upgrade your wardrobe," Feliciano's mom said going through his closet. She held up a t-shirt Feliciano often wore. As she said that Feliciano couldn't help but look at the clothes he was currently wearing. Sure he was currently in jeans like he normally would. But his shirt a more feminine one. He felt uncomfortable wearing it. It didn't help he wasn't wearing his binder.

"That's just what I like wearing," Feliciano said not even looking up from his drawing. His mother walked over and took the sketchbook out of his hands. Feliciano held himself back from saying anything.

"This what you spent your free time doing," she said looking at the drawing. "Naked people?"

"It's for my advanced anatomy class. I need to learn to draw the body as realistic as possible."

"I don't see the point in it," his mom threw the sketchbook. Feliciano caught it. Thankful none of the pages had bent. "Come on we need to cook dinner."

Feliciano sighed and stood up. He closed his sketchbook and followed his mom downstairs. His mom started to gather the cooking tools she needed. Telling Feliciano what he needed to grab from the fridge. He grabbed everything as quickly as he could. Doing everything she asked without comment. Though he could feel her staring at him. It was something he tried to ignore but couldn't. Like he being judged back in high school. It got to the point where he did a little sigh of relief when his mom asked him to set the table.

"Honey, doesn't Alicia look nice today?" his mother asked his father while they ate dinner. Gesturing to Feliciano as she did.

"She does dear," his father said after looking at Feliciano for a bit. Feliciano quickly grabbed his glass and took a drink from it.

"See Alicia," his mom turned to him. "When you dress like you're supposed to people think you look nice."

She gave him a rather condescending smile. Feliciano shuttered a little and continued eating. Looking towards Lovino, he saw that Lovino looked so done with everything. Feliciano remained quiet. Once again he could feel his mother's eyes piercing at him. And once again he ignored them.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lovino asked walking into Feliciano's room. Feliciano looked up from his sketchbook.

"I'm okay," Feliciano said quietly. Lovino up to Feliciano's bad and sat on the other end.

"You sure?" Lovino asked in a quieter, calmer tone than he normally spoke with.

"Yeah," Feliciano said still quietly.

"If something is bugging you you can tell me."

"I'm fine." Feliciano started playing with his sketchbook pages a little.

"Alright," Lovino said standing back up. "Remember if and when you want to get out of here just tell me. And I'll find a way. Okay?"

"Okay," Feliciano responded with a small smile.

* * *

Ludwig sat in his room. Working on his computer. It was rather quiet in his home. Though he could hear his parents watching TV downstairs. It didn't bug him in the slightest. After a few moments, he heard a phone ring. He thought it was from his parent's show for a minute before looking down and seeing it was his own. And Feliciano was calling him.

"Hi Feliciano," Ludwig said answering the phone.

"Hey," Feliciano said in a rather somber tone.

"Are you okay?" Ludwig asked as he closed his laptop.

"My mom's been on my nerves today," Feliciano said after a bit of hesitation. Ludwig could hear some fear in his voice.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really," Feliciano said. "I just wanted to talk to you. If that's alright?"

"Of course," Ludwig responded smiling a little as he did.

"Ludwig," Feliciano said a bit lower and happier than before.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."


	26. Chapter 26

"They're gone," Feliciano said as he looked out the window and saw no cars in the driveway. He walked over to his closet and reached back on the self where his sweatshirts were. Lifting one in the way back, he revealed a box. Quickly he pulled it out. He ran to his bed. Quietly doing to a double-check, making sure he was alone before opening it. Slowly he opened it to reveal a journal.

Carefully Feliciano lifted it out of the box. Reading through he looked at the codes he had written in. Just in case. Then he got to the page which listed a bunch of times and events. there were many smudge marks on the pages from countless times erasing and rewriting. He ran his fingers down the list before finding the one he was looking for.

"Short day today," he sighed looking at the paper. He leaned back in his spot. "But I still have enough time."

He walked over to his drawer and pulled out his binder. He could see some sweat stains on it from the past day's wear. He kept it in one hand and walked to the bathroom. Gently he placed his binder by the sink. Next, we walked to the laundry room downstairs, and over to the washer and dryer. As he excepted the washer and dryer were empty. Carefully he unloaded the dryer and folded all the clothes. Separating them into piles as he did. Next, he loaded the dryer with the currently wet clothes from the washer. He grabbed one of the piles of dirty clothes and threw in it. Before heading back upstairs he grabbed the laundry detergent and walked back upstairs.

He walked up to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Just to be safe. He filled the sink up with warm water. He then poured the laundry detergent into the cap. Roughly half as he normally did. Before pouring that into the sink. Slowly he placed the binder in the water and let lather up. When he thought it was good, he drained the water out. Letting the faucet run, he placed the binder under it. Making sure all the soap got out. When it was done he squeezed all the water out.

"Now this just has to dry," Feliciano said after hanging the binder behind his opened closest door. He looked at himself for a minute. Standing there awkwardly. He sighed and grabbed a sweatshirt. Making sure not to look down as he did. After putting it on he felt a little better.

He walked over to his stuff. Not really organized. Just laid out similarly where it was when he came back. He didn't see the point of putting everything away if he was just going back to college in a little over a week. He opened his backpack and pulled out his drawing tablet. Holding it gently he walked downstairs. He placed it gently on the living room table. Proceeding to walk into the kitchen he made himself a bowl of cereal. With a sly smile, he sat on the couch.

After breakfast, Feliciano turned on his tablet. He looked over his current artworks. Many of them near finishing while some were just sketches. They were all commissions he was working on. He smiled and started getting back to work. He looked at his phone and smiled at the date.

"Only three more days then I can go home."

* * *

"Gilbert should be here any minute," Karla said looking at the clock after putting some food in the oven. "Hopefully this doesn't burn."

"Karla darling everything will be delicious as always," Wolfgang said wrapping an arm around her.

"But tonight is very important," Karla said lifting her husband's arm off her.

The two started to jokingly argue with each other. Ludwig rolled his eyes but smiled. He looked back at his phone. Seeing the little bubble appear in his messages with Feliciano. He patiently watched it before Feliciano sent it, _Yeah so that was basically my day. Anything going on with you?_

_My parents are currently arguing in the kitchen because my mom's worried about dinner_

_Wow wish my parents' arguments were like that. Anything special about this dinner?_

_My brother is bringing his girlfriend over. My mom's been anxious about it all week._

_When my ex-boyfriend came over to my house for the first time my mom ordered take out because my mom was in one of her moods._

_Your mom has moods?_

_Yeah I think she's bipolar._ Feliciano soon responded with a second message. _It's no big deal._

Ludwig stared at the messages. There was something off about them. Like Feliciano was trying to save face. He wanted to say something. Just to tell Feliciano everything was alright. That he could tell him everything. He wouldn't judge. Not even care. But something was stopping him.

 _So have you met your brother's gf before?_ Feliciano asked. Ludwig smiled again.

"Well, that's a new face." Ludwig looked up and saw his mom smiling at him.

"Mom!" Ludwig jumped a little and quickly hid his phone.

"What is there something you don't want me to know?" She asked with a sly smile.

"I'm just texting a friend," Ludwig said hoping not to sound nervous.

"If you say so sweetie," Karla said with a little laugh. "Well, I just wanted to tell you that your brother will be here soon."

"Okay," Ludwig said quietly. His mom with the room laughing a little as she did. Ludwig heard her whispering something to his dad. But Ludwig couldn't tell what. He went back to texting with Feliciano. This time being more cautious of his facial expressions.

"Gilbert's here!" Karla yelped after a few minutes. Ludwig quickly texted Feliciano. Telling him that he'll text him later. Standing. up, he dusted himself off and adjusted his shirt a little. As he walked into the kitchen, Gilbert in. Next to him was a young woman around his age.

"Mom, Dad this is Elizabeta," Gilbert said with a smile. Using his free arm to gesture to her.

"Nice to meet you," Elizabeta said with a small curtsey.

"It's nice to meet you too, dear," Karla said walking up to her and shaking her hand. "Don't stand in the doorway. Come on in. I hope you don't mind I'm making Rouladen for dinner."

"Never had it before but I'm sure it's delicious," Elizabeta said as she took off her jacket. Gilbert took it in his hands.

"You must be Gilbert's little brother Ludwig." Elizabeta extended her hand and Ludwig accepted it. "I'm glad to finally meet you."

"Glad to meet you too," Ludwig said.

"Dinner will be ready in a little bit. You guys can sit in the living room while you wait." Karla turned to face Ludwig. "Ludwig sweetie could you set the table please."

Ludwig nodded and walked over to the cabinet. He grabbed the plates and silverware. Slowly he walked into the dining room. He could hear his father, Gilbert, and Elizabeta in the other room. It appeared that they were having a good time. He kept setting the table. When he was done, he remained in the room. His mind went to Feliciano. What would happen if they started dating? Would his parents be happy to meet him? He was sure they would. His family were very welcoming people. Would Feliciano even be comfortable meeting them? Would he be awkward around them instead of his normal cheerful self? There were too many variables he needed to consider.

"Ludwig sweetheart is something wrong?" Karla asked walking up to him. She gently held his hands.

"It's nothing Mom," Ludwig said quickly and quietly. She looked at him softly. Sighing she turned around. "Well, dinner is ready."

Ludwig nodded and stayed by the wall. He watched as everyone else entered the room. He took a seat next to Gilbert and Karla sat at the free seat next to him. She placed the dinner in the middle. Serving some to Elizabeta first. Everyone sat in quiet for a few minutes.

"So Elizabeta how did you and Gilbert meet?" Karla asked after a little bit.

"Oh we met at the bank I'm working at," Elizabeta said with a little laugh. "I was walking out and he was walking in. We literally walked into each other."

"Aww that's so adorable," Karla said sweetly.

"And from that moment I knew there was something special about her," Gilbert said smoothly. Ludwig rolled his eyes and continued eating.

"Ludwig Gilbert said you're in law school? What's that like?" Elizabeta said looking at Ludwig, intently.

"I'm currently I Pre-Law major. I won't be in law school for another two years."

"Oh, interesting. Is it hard?"

"It has its up and downs," Ludwig said taking a bite of his dinner.

"That's good," Elizabeta said with a smile. "Glad it isn't giving you too much stress."

"Yeah," he said a little quieter than normal. "Hardly stressful at all."


	27. Chapter 27

"Goodbye Mom, Dad," Feliciano said as he stood on the porch waving to his parents as they drove away. He remained there until the car was out of his sight. He quickly went back inside and sighed. "Finally."

Feliciano went back up to his room. His bags were still all packed. But it didn't matter at the moment. He walked over to his closet. Quickly he grabbed some new clothes and changed into them. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he felt himself feeling more comfortable.

"So how was everyone's Spring Break?" Tezera asked as everyone sat around the table. A few of them were eating take out. Feliciano just said by a with a can of coke.

"Same as every break," Feliciano said taking a small sip of his drink. No one said anything to respond to that. "What about you guys?"

"Kiku came to visit," Mei said excitedly.

"You've been saying that since last month," Tezera said and rolled her eyes. A couple of people laughed. Feliciano giggled as well before Mei glared at him.

"So how did it go?" Feliciano asked. Hoping to say a bit of face.

"I mean I've met her mother before," Kiku said quietly and awkwardly. Mei glared at him a little. "So it went well."

"You guys do anything?" Victoria asked with a sweet smile.

"Well we went to the movies," Mei started to explain. She started going on about how the date went. But Feliciano started to stop paying attention. His mind started wandering. It had been a while since he had been on a good date. Just enjoying being with a significant other. A good part of him wanted to feel it again. It was hard to truly describe. It was something of pure happiness and contentedness that was there. He wanted to feel it again. Hopefully, there was someone he could do it again with. Immediately, his mind went to Ludwig. The two of them enjoying a movie together. Quickly he shook a little to get it out of his head.

"Feliciano are you okay?" Toylis asked looking at him a little funny.

"Oh, just shiver," Feliciano said with an awkward laugh. He tried not to dart his eyes around.

"Alright then," Toylis responded before turning back to the group. Feliciano forced back a sigh. He took another sip of his drink, trying to get his mind off the whole thing.

The next day Feliciano walked to class by himself. Normally on Mondays, he would walk with Mei and Kiku to class. But today he chose not too. Instead, leaving a few hours early. Currently, it was around nine am and the town was started to wake up. Mostly there were a few students rushing to class and other people getting ready to go to work. It was busy but also kind of peaceful. Feliciano walked over to his favorite cafe and got his usual order. Afterward, he walked over to the fountain. He found an empty bench and sat down. He looked at it intently remembering what happened there his freshman year.

* * *

"Okay here we go," Feliciano said carefully stuffing his long hair into a beanie. Making sure no stray hairs were sticking out. He dusted off his sweatshirt a little. He looked out the window. It looked like today was gonna be a hot one. He didn't care. Looking next to him he saw his roommate still sound asleep. If he remembered correctly her name was Mei. He looked down a bit. He didn't like that he had to lie to her. But his parents were watching over him when he was filling out the room surveys so he had to sign up as a girl. As he walked out the door, his eyes caught Alicia on the door tag. He shuttered a little.

Walking to class was very freeing for him. For once he could go to school without having to worry someone ratting him out to his parents. No one in his class was attending this college. In fact, there were a couple of his classmates who hadn't even heard of the school. Here his classmates, with the exceptions of his housemates, wouldn't know Alicia, just Feliciano.

"I can't believe I'm actually here," Feliciano said looking at the main campus of the school. He saw students walking in and around campus. Everyone appearing to be in their own little world. Quickly Feliciano followed suit. As he walked he felt his phone buzz.

_Good luck Alicia dear! Make your father and me proud!_

Felciano texted a quick thank you. He began praying his mom didn't want another picture. Luckily it seemed, for now, she didn't any. Though Feliciano kept his fingers crossed. Just in case.

As Feliciano walked into his first class, he stared in awe. He was actually here in an actual art studio. He gripped the portfolio in his hand before moving into the room. He saw a few people smile at him and couldn't help but smile back. He took a seat at an empty desk and pulled out the sketchbook he bought for this class.

"Oh I like your pencil case," Feliciano saw looking at the case of the person next to him. It was pure white with a bunch of little characters on it.

"Oh thank you," the person said quietly. They moved it closer to them a bit.

"What are the little characters on it?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"They're Vocaloid characters," they said a bit awkwardly.

"That's really cool."

"Really?" the person beamed a little. Feliciano nodded. "I'm Kiku."

"I'm A-" Feliciano stopped himself before coughing a little. "Sorry, I'm Feliciano."

Before Kiku could say anything, the professor began the lesson. As he looked at the computer. Feliciano's face fell. He braced himself what was about to come. However, the professor started passing out pieces of paper to everyone. When Feliciano got one he looked it over. On it, Feliciano not only saw birth name but also preferred name. There was even a box for preferred pronouns. His hand shook a little as he checked off the he/him box and wrote _Feliciano_ as his preferred name. He passed back to the front once he was all done. Hopefully, no one would read it.

The rest of the class went on as normal. The professor went over the syllabus and the plans for the year. Feliciano paid close attention. Making note of stuff like supplies or projects the professor mentioned in passing. After class, he and Kiku quickly exchanged numbers before going their separate ways.

"Today went great," Feliciano said as he collapsed on his bed. He sighed in happiness. Soon he heard a knock at the door. Quickly, he threw off his beanie and took off his sweatshirt. He buried them under a folded blanket. Fluffing out his hair a bit to be sure.

"Done classes already," Mei said walking into the room. Feliciano leaned over the blanket.

"Yeah," he said with a small laugh. "What about you?"

"They went well," Mei said climbing on her bed. "If you don't mind I'm gonna take a quick nap for a minute. Can you wake me up in half an hour?"

Feliciano nodded. Looking around he grabbed a small sketchbook and started drawing the day away.

"So you're an Illustration Major?" Feliciano asked as he and Kiku walked across campus. It was Friday and the two had bumped into each other after their respective last classes.

"Yes I hope someday to make my own comic series," Kiku looked down and smiled a little.

"That's really cool I don't know what I'm going to do with my degree."

"Aren't you an Illustration major too?" Kiku asked confused.

"Yes and Painting." Feliciano kicked a small pebble. "I love both and not fully sure what I want to do yet."

Kiku smiled and Feliciano smiled back.

"Hey, Kiku I've been looking for you," someone called. Feliciano looked over and saw Mei run over to them.

"Hi Mei," Kiku said quietly. "My apologies for any inconvenience."

"You don't need to apologize for that," Mei said with a small laugh. A few seconds later her eyes caught Feliciano.

"Hey Mei," Feliciano greeted.

"Do you two know each other?" Kiku asked confused.

"We're roommates," Feliciano said without thinking.

"Like in the same house?"

"No roommates."

"Uh my roommate is named Alicia," Mei said and Feliciano froze in place. "Come to think of it, I think we have a class at the same time. But I've never seen her on campus"

"I got to go," Feliciano said quickly. Before either of them could have said anything. He ran as fast as he could. Deciding to get lost in the crowd. He maneuvered around hoping not to be noticed. Before long he caught glimpse of a large fountain. Made of marble standing out amongst the scenery. Breathing a little heavily he sat down. He caught himself in the reflection of the water. Sighing he took off his beanie. His long hair now out in the open.

"I'm bad at this," Feliciano sighed looking at himself in the water.

"Uh hey, roomie." Feliciano turned around to see Mei and Kiku standing behind him.

"Want do you want?" he said quietly. Slowly wiping away a few tears.

"We wanted to make sure you were okay," Mei said as she sat on one side of Feliciano. Kiku sat on the other. Feliciano stayed quiet. "So what name do you prefer?"

"Huh?" Feliciano said looking up.

"Well, I know you as Alicia, and Kiku said you were Feliciano," Mei said each name with a bit of caution. "I just want to make sure I'm calling you the right one?" 

"Really," Feliciano said looking up. Beaming a little. Mei nodded. He turned to look at Kiku. He smiled at him as well.

"I would honestly like to be called Feliciano," he said sniffling a little. "I know I'm bad at being a boy."

"I still want to be friends if that's okay," Mei said quietly before Feliciano could continue.

"Me too," Kiku said with a smile. "I don't view any differently than I had before today."

Feliciano smiled widely. Quickly he wrapped his arms around Mei and Kiku. Beaming wider than he ever had before.

* * *

"Still one of my favorite memories," Feliciano said taking a sip of his coffee. Still thinking back to that day. Knowing while a lot of things have changed, their friendship had remained.


	28. Chapter 28

"Are you sure you don't want me to go to your place?" Ludwig asked Feliciano over the phone.

"But I feel like we always hang out at my place," Feliciano whined a little. "We never hang out at yours."

"We have," Ludwig said annoyed.

"Yeah once." Ludwig could tell Feliciano was pouting on the other end. He remained silent. "Can we please mix it up just this once?"

"Alright," Ludwig sighed defeated.

"Yay I can't wait!" Feliciano cheered. "See you Saturday!"

"See you then," Ludwig said quietly. He sighed and leaned against his bed.

"Are you okay?" Alfred asked walking into the room.

"Feliciano's coming over on Saturday." Alfred's face immediately lit up. "It's not a date!"

"If you say so," Alfred teased sticking his tongue out at the end. "But I don't see why that would make you upset dude."

"I'm not nervous about that," Ludwig said firmly. "In fact, I'm not nervous about anything."

"You sure?" Alfred said leaning closer to Ludwig. He sighed and nodded. Alfred shrugged it off and walked to his laptop and logged on to play some game. Ludwig pulled out a book and started reading it. Hoping it would get his mind off the whole thing.

* * *

"So a friend is coming over tonight and worried what you're going to do," Matthew said as he and Ludwig sat at the checkout desk at the library. It was late Saturday morning, so the library was still rather empty. Both of them had been put on front desk duty for the morning. Which was rare for Ludwig, normally he was roaming duty. Fixing shelves and putting books away. It was active work and it kept him busy. He found sitting at the desk kind of boring. Especially on Saturday, nothing happened.

"Yeah, he came over before once but that was to help me with a project," Ludwig explained adjusting himself in his seat. "We've hung out at his place a few times, and we normally go out. There's isn't really anything to do here and he'll probably get bored."

"Maybe he just wants to hang out and not go anywhere," Matthew suggested.

"You got a point," Ludwig said turning to look at the computer. "I just hope he isn't bored."

"Don't worry I'm sure he won't be." Ludwig remained silent and kept staring at the screen. "And if not, I'm sure you'll guys find something."

* * *

Ludwig stood by the bus stop. Leaning slightly against the side of it. He had received a text from Feliciano a few minutes ago, saying he was on the bus. He wasn't sure how long the bus ride would be but he knew he should there when Feliciano got off the bus. Every few minutes a bus would pass on either stop, but none of them had Feliciano. Ludwig checked his phone each time and saw nothing from Feliciano. At least Ludwig knew Feliciano wasn't lost on campus. Then he saw a bus drive past from across the street. There was a single person that got off. As soon as they started to wave, Ludwig knew it was Feliciano. When traffic was cleared, he started running across the street.

"Hi Ludwig," Feliciano said happily when he got close enough.

"Hi Feliciano," Ludwig said, he felt his heart flutter a little. "Glad you were able to make it."

"I am too," Feliciano beamed. Ludwig took a small step back. Feliciano walked past him and stared at the campus for a moment. "Wow, your campus is larger than I remember."

"It's not that big," Ludwig said a bit quietly.

"Mine's smaller," Feliciano said. He gestured a little to the campus. Ludwig took the cue and started walking towards the campus. Feliciano followed him with a smile.

"So, I know you're excepting to go to my dorm," Ludwig said after a while of walking.

"Actually I don't care,"

"I figured we could start out by going to one of my favorite places on campus," Ludwig said, interrupting Feliciano.

"No offense but I don't want to go to the library." Feliciano rolled his eyes but laughed a little.

"What, no," Ludwig said turning back as Feliciano still giggled. "It's actually not a building."

Feliciano remained quiet. He followed Ludwig quickly. Past every building until they were near the back of campus. Walking behind one of the last buildings, he saw a small stone path. Before Ludwig even started walking towards it, Feliciano turned his body towards it. At the end of the path was a bustling river. Ludwig took a seat near it and followed sat down next to her.

"It's beautiful here," Feliciano said looking at some nearby flowers. "How did you find this place?"

"When my parents took me on a tour here," Ludwig leaned back a little. "Our tour guide told us about the stone path. We were unable to see it and I wasn't able to find it during orientation. So, once I was all moved in I spent my first free day searching out this place. It surprisingly didn't that long to find it."

"I'm surprised we're the only ones here." Feliciano looked around some more. Despite the peaceful aura the area gave off, Ludwig and Feliciano were the only there. At least that Feliciano could see. And while there could have people out of his line of sight, he couldn't hear anyone.

"Most people like to out and party. Especially when there is a football game." Ludwig said the last part in a small grumble. Feliciano leaned his head on Ludwig's shoulder. Ludwig tensed up for a bit but somehow Feliciano being there calmed him down.

"I get it," Feliciano said softly. "I'm not much of a sports person either. Though I do enjoy going to a party."

"I'm not really a party person," Ludwig looked away as he said that.

"Yeah you're more of a book person," Feliciano said nudging Ludwig with his elbow a little.

"Do we even have anything in common?" Ludwig thought to himself. "If so, how can we manage as a couple? We probably won't even last as friends."

Ludwig felt Feliciano's head lift off his shoulder. He leaned his head in his hands. Sighing a little. Luckily it seemed that Feliciano didn't hear or chose to ignore him. He could hear him moving across the grass. Freezing at some points before moving again. Turning around he saw Feliciano lying on his stomach. Ludwig stood up and walked closer. Then he saw Feliciano holding his phone close to a group of flowers. He didn't know what specific species they were kind of short and of pink color.

"Uh, Feliciano what are you doing?"

"Oh," Feliciano said kneeling up. Ludwig could see a small tint of red on his cheeks. "I saw some of the flowers and really like them. So I've been taking pictures of them to draw them later."

"Are they interesting to draw?" Ludwig knelt draw next to them.

"Yes actually." Feliciano rubbed the back of his head for a few seconds. "I've never seen any like these before and the urge was too strong. Mei likes to poke fun of my constant picture taking. But I can't help it, that could be the only time I see it."

"I take it you do it a lot," Ludwig moved so he was sitting down.

"Yeah, nature is great for finding inspiration in. It's literally endless."

"And good for stress relief," Ludwig admitted moving closer to Feliciano.

"So is talking to you," Feliciano said with a warm smile.

"I doubt it," Ludwig brushed it off.

"I mean it," Feliciano leaned back on Ludwig. "I look forward to talking to you and hanging out with you."

"I look forward to this too."


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey West," Gilbert said with a surprised tone. "Wasn't excepting to hear from you."

"Well um," Ludwig paused for a moment. "I need your advice on something."

"You're asking me for advice!" Gilbert yelled in shock.

"Yes," Ludwig said quietly. He sulked in a bit in his seat. "It's about..."

"Are you sick?!" Gilbert asked as Ludwig spoke. Ludwig rubbed his forehead with his hand and sighed.

"No," Ludwig said very annoyed and firmly. "You're the only person I can think of asking about this."

"Why's that?" Gilbert asked slyly before Ludwig could say anything.

"I'm worried about my relationship with Feliciano," Ludwig responded with a bit of hesitation.

"You're dating him!"

"No!" Ludwig growled. He sighed a moved his hand across his face. "We have nothing in common and I don't even know if that makes being friends with him worth it. But I don't want to stop being friends with him."

Gilbert was silent for a few moments. Something that normally would relieve Ludwig but not at this moment. He sat there trying to keep his breathing slow and quiet. Hoping he wouldn't notice.

"I mean," Gilbert said before pausing for a moment. "I don't see how it's an entirely bad thing. Wouldn't it be boring dating someone who is exactly like you?"

"I'm not asking that we're exactly the same, just that we have a bit more in common. He's all about going out and art stuff. While I'm more interested in books and staying at home. I don't think that would make a very compatible relationship."

"From what I'm hearing it just sounds like an introvert falling for an extrovert. Oh, like my favorite couple on the TV show I like."

"Like that's what I want my relationship to be like," Ludwig thought to himself, rolling his eyes. "But this isn't like a television show, it won't work like that."

"Well, I'm sure there is something you two have in common?"

"All I can think of is an appreciation of nature but I don't think that's enough," Ludwig sighed.

"It could be nerves," Gilbert said after some thought. "Try thinking about stuff that you both like. There you should think of something."

For the rest of his day, Ludwig's mind could not get off his brother's words. He tried to think if they had any truth to them. His mind went to his own friend group. Sure they had their difference, especially him and Alfred. But at least he and Alfred liked some of the same TV shows. He never heard Feliciano talk about any television shows. So that could go either way. But even if Feliciano liked similar shows, something Ludwig found unlikely, would that even last long. Would everything be worth it?

* * *

"All I'm saying is if you what to make a move, you better do it soon," Mei said as she and Feliciano walked to a food court table.

"I'm not saying I don't want to make a move," Feliciano said before taking a sip of his boba tea. "It's not the right time for it."

"If you keep postponing it then you'll lose your chance," Mei looked at him worried before taking a bite of her sandwich. "Before you know it, he could end up with a boyfriend."

"If so good for him," Feliciano said with a lot of hesitation. Mei glared at him and raised an eyebrow. Feliciano quickly sipped his tea and looked away.

"So any idea for your art project?" Feliciano asked after a few minutes. Stirring his straw a little.

"Yeah a few," Mei said rolling her eyes but smiling.

The rest of the lunch was rather uneventful. They just bounced off ideas for their representative projects. One of the perks of being an art major was there were fewer tests than other majors. On the other hand, they had a lot more projects. And a decent amount of art viewings. Making it best for them to get started as soon as they could. Many freshmen were quick to learn that waiting until the last minute was never a good idea.

When they were finished with their lunch, they started walking around the mall. Occasionally stopping into stores and poking around. After a bit, they left the mall and walked to the nearby arts and crafts store.

"Okay, I need a canvas of at least 14 in by 17 in," Feliciano said as he and Mei walked into the store. The two walked over to that section. Quickly Feliciano was able to find one of the right size and took it from the shelf. Mei held two in her and started to look them over. Feliciano opened his phone and looked at his list.

"I think I'm going to use watercolor for this assignment," Feliciano said looking it over.

"But you hate watercolor," Mei said in confusion.

"So that doesn't mean I can't use it if I want to," Feliciano said moving the canvas under his arm. "Now I just got to find some."

"When was the last time you even did a watercolor?" Mei asked started to follow him.

"I did one for my still life class last year," Feliciano said as he started looking over watercolor pallets.

"What made you chose to do one?" Mei asked.

"A lot of people were doing acrylic and oil-based paint and I wanted to stand out."

"Ah right, you have Johanson," Mei said as the realization hit her.

"Yeah," Feliciano said as he looked over the watercolor pallets. "You've done watercolor before. What do you recommend for pallets?"

Mei looked over the pallets. She occasionally took one out to look it over. After a bit, she pulled one out. "Here try this one. It's decently high quality without being too expensive."

"Thanks," Feliciano said taking the pallet in his hands. He looked it over. It had eighteen different colors. And even came with a small brush. He smiled at it and held it in one of his hands.

Shortly after, Feliciano and Mei went up and paid for their stuff. That went by fast and before they knew it they were in Mei's car. Placing their supplies in the back seats. Mei put on her K-pop music as they started to drive off. As she did, Feliciano leaned on the window. Glancing at Mei a few times. She didn't seem to notice. Too caught up in her music, dancing as the songs went on. After a bit, Feliciano glanced at the steering wheel. Imagining himself driving. How he begged his parents to let him drive. Still they rarely ever let him do so. Often having Lovino go out instead. Whether it be to grab a jug of milk or even drive Marcello to places. They never asked him too. And he had theories why.

"Is the music bugging you?" Mei asked as she pulled into a stop. She looked at Feliciano with a concerned look.

"Nah I just got a lot on my mind right now," Feliciano said as he sat up.

"Okay," Mei said with a bit of concern in her voice. "That's been happening a lot lately."

"Yeah, I guess it has."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I have been writing this fanfiction on Fanfiction.net since April 2019 and I have decided to share it here. I will be adding the chapters over time and once I'm caught up with that I'll add new chapters as I go. I hope you enjoy.


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